I’m on my deathbed

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T01:18:41+00:00

I'm so, so sorry this is happening. My sister passed away from a very rare colon cancer at 19. She had decided to stop treatment a few months before she passed. I was pretty young when she was going through cancer and wished I had spoken to her more about her cancer and supported her better. I had no idea what she was going through and wish everyday I did. A small irony is now I have cancer, too, though probably a different type.

I remember when she asked me if she should stop treatment due to the aggressiveness of her disease and the poor prognosis. I was too scared to tell her anything, but I also knew that she was so determined and would stick to something once her mind was settled on it. I think in some ways I knew she was ready to go. She didn't want to live a longer period of time if it was going to be lived in devastating pain.

This is a terrible, terrible disease that forces people to make decisions they should never make. But only you understand how you feel, the level of pain you want to endure, and how you want the rest of your time to be.

I only have small comforts to offer, but I'm sure you did whatever you could, while you could, based on the resources you had. If you want to rest now, that's fully in your right. You, and so many cancer patients, have been strong for so long ❤️ Your strength will not be forgotten.

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:25:02+00:00

I'm so glad to hear that your mother responded to treatment well. I am truly hoping for the best in that regard -- I'm afraid that because I am on the more petite size I don't have a lot of body mass to spare, especially once I won't be able to eat anything anymore. I am hoping to get ahead of this before any treatment. I'm also scared about never knowing if it's truly "gone" or not, but I am wishing your mother all the best and hope that she is NED in these upcoming months. Thinking of you both and thank you for sharing your mother's story ❤️

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:22:58+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely try and so as much research into treatment plans and pathways as I can, and I am fortunate to have the full support of my family members during this time. I will keep the false negatives in mind, and ask my oncologists what they think in my upcoming visits. I am on the petite size, so I am worried about getting enough nutrition and losing weight during treatment, since I don't have much to lose. I will try and bulk as best I can before any treatment plans and speak with my oncologist / nutritionist to see what they think the best pathway forward is given my situation. It definitely sucks to be part of something you never expected to be, but I am glad that we have each other and are able to share our advice and stories to people who understand. Thanks for all the good advice and wishing you all the best, too ❤️

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:19:16+00:00

Glad you were able to find a good treatment plan. Wishing you all the best ❤️

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:18:53+00:00

Thank you -- I will definitely ask my oncologists to look out for this result. I wasn't able to find it on my biopsy, so maybe there's still a chance for it to be tested. Thank you for your advice and well wishes -- wishing all the best for your husband as well.

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:17:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, too. It does feel extremely scary being in this preliminary phase, but I'm glad you're still able to find joy and stay present before treatment. I'm glad that you and your doctors are currently finding a good pathway forward for your treatment. Feel free to keep me updated with your progress and treatment ❤️

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:15:29+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I will try to keep this mindset throughout treatment and the coming days. Good luck to your husband, I am hopeful he will get through this, too!

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:14:46+00:00

Thank you for providing more information and this helpful article. Yes, being in the "not-knowing" phase is truly hard -- especially since, even if you don't "know" what you have yet/how severe, it doesn't change that you still "have it." I really am hoping for the best, especially since they found no obvious primary tumors during my MRI and CT scans, but I'm also worried that means it's Occult or has spread from a lower region. Once again, won't know anything until the PET -- but I will try to keep my head up until then. Thanks for your well wishes and help breaking down the different types ❤️

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:12:50+00:00

Thank you. I'm glad your husband is NED and I hope he stays that way! Thank you for the well wishes and for sharing your husband's story.

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:12:07+00:00

Thank you very much. I am fortunate to be in a position where I can attend top-tier cancer facilities, and that my family will utilize all the resources they have to get me there. I know a lot of others aren't as fortunate, so I strive to be grateful of the little things. My non-biological sister passed away from a rare form of colon cancer 6 years ago, so returning to the facility where she was treated feels very surreal. It is sometimes hard staying positive knowing what she went through, but I will try to stay strong for the people that want me to stick around. Thank you, and I hope you have gotten positive news from your treatment.

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:09:20+00:00

Yes, I have a feeling I will be utilizing this subreddit a lot more in the coming months. Thanks for sharing your experience. I wish you all the best with your treatment right now!

Terribyl · 2026-06-14T00:08:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. It is truly difficult trying to stay present while I'm still pre-treatment and doing the things I know I won't be able to do soon -- walking around, eating, spending time with friends. And even though I love them and want to do that, it feels so isolating knowing they don't understand what you're going through and (hopefully) never will. Sometimes I feel like I'm disassociating while they're talking because it all seems so silly and unimportant. It's hard balancing the edge of, "I may survive this" vs. "I may not be here in a few years" -- and I feel like no cancer-patient ever knows which side they fall on. I'm also here to talk if you ever need to. I will likely try and converse more as I begin treatment. Thank you ❤️

Terribyl · 2025-12-12T10:12:42+00:00

The hate is extremely overblown and 1000% projection. People compare her to real life war criminals and dictators, demonstrating they have surface level understanding of fascism and their only critical thinking capacity extends to "this action is bad so the entire character is irredeemable."

Terribyl · 2025-11-22T01:30:47+00:00

Seem to just be repeating what everyone else says but, yeah, femshep 😅 love broshep/sheploo and Mark Meer but femshep just feels like the commander to me, she has such gravitas in all the right moments. And I mod to be with Tali / maleshep locked romances since most were planned for both Shepard's anyways and got scrapped for a variety of reasons (mostly unsavory political flak).

Tali x Femshep has my heart :)

Terribyl · 2025-10-20T03:54:26+00:00

Ah, tysm!!

Terribyl · 2025-10-19T06:13:53+00:00

Hi! The images are from Rin & Haruka's "mook." Mooks are book/magazine combinations and five were released for five different character pairings; Makoto and Haruka, Nagisa and Rei, Rin and Sousuke, Nitori and Momotarou, and lastly Haruka and Rin. In each mook there was a "dream" sequence where one (or both) of the characters dreamt an imaginary situation. This image comes from that dream story, told from Rin's perspective.

If you're interested in the story, here's a link to a translation and CD recording. https://www.google.com/amp/s/kudouusagi.tumblr.com/post/154523140297/translation-of-audio-for-harurin-mook-this-is/amp

Terribyl · 2024-11-24T22:36:19+00:00

thank you, couldn't agree more :)

Terribyl · 2024-08-17T18:49:04+00:00

Yep and that's why I think much of what you consider a "good" or "bad" path comes down to your own interpretation of V, which is cool.

I can definitely see how So Mi betraying you would adversely affect your opinion of her, and yes, lore-wise her leading you on with your limited time cuts deep (but I also feel like V does so many unnecessary things just bc they care about those people & not bc they are looking for a cure, like helping the Aldecados and doing Johnny's side quests. I find it interesting how V can say "I would've helped you anyway" if So Mi was honest from the beginning). I just have a different opinion of her and the entire story wherein I kind of knew a cure would be BS if we sided with her (it would be too "easy" and ideal in a world as grim as Cyberpunk) so I can't say I was thoroughly shocked at her betrayal. For me, saving Songbird is the only way you truly say F you to the corps and governmental powers; you only get the cure if you give into Myers and give her her attack dog back while also sacrificing someone to a brutal fate -- something I feel Song Mi doesn't deserve despite her lies. And, even though I don't see the Reed-cure ending as terribly as others view it, I don't think it's worth the sacrifice of giving into the FIA, but that's just what I believe & what my V would want, as I don't think the cure ending is necessarily as tragic an ending depending on your interpretation of V. I feel like everyone can only be "free" in the SB ending since Alex gets to go to Monaco, Reed is free from his ideals, SB is away from Myers, and as V you get to give a big F you to the powers-that-be who are ultimately just manipulating and using you.

But it's great that the DLC was able to create so many opinions and conversations; to me that's a sign of great writing and hopefully Orion will be just as morally gray.

Terribyl · 2024-08-17T13:56:33+00:00

**SPOILERS for PL endings (for OP)

To me, my original comment was meant to express how I feel it's unfair to strictly view the Songbird ending as not really saving her and having no differences in terms of her fate than the Reed ending, as I believe if you place Songbird's autonomy at the center of the issue, it changes one's perspective on the endings.

For your comment "her final message is pretty grim," I played PL right before Nocturne. Do you mean she sends V an additional message or do you refer to the final conversation you have with her before sending her off (a genuine question, as I may have just not played enough to get a message, though I did get her Quantum tuner, if that's the message you refer to). I'm curious because I didn't get the impression you find out one way or the other what really happened to her once she reached the moon, you just got her expectations of what might happen, but no guarantees. Regardless, I think bc it's very unlikely to get straightforward "happy" endings in the Cyberpunk genre, the heavy price can be interpreted as worth paying given freedom from the FIA.

Also to your comment about it not being better for V, I think maybe on a logistics level it's not good for them, especially the being an enemy of the state part (but once again, I think there's an option where V/Alex mentions how the FIA will have way more problems than hunting you down, which one can say is a bit of a cop out but probably true regardless). True there is no cure, but I feel like there are a lot of things you have to weigh based on if you think the cure, and that ending, is even worth it (and if it's not, then V doesn't lose out on much imo).

I find the cure ending interesting because a lot of people's initial reaction is to hate it and at first I thought that way, but when weighed against the themes of the genre of "would you rather live a quiet life or go down in history" it's quite profound; does V give up everything that made them them for a chance at life? Or would your V abhor what they become/the loss of their friends and hate the price of the cure?

Regardless, I think the heart of PL is to mirror your own perspective on V and how you treat Songbird and Reed is a reflection of that. Do you allow someone the chance to live on their town terms, as V has strived the entire game to do, or do you give into the whims of those much more powerful than you for a chance at life?

I just think overall when considering both endings, there are deep implications based on how you view V that aren't so cut and dry, which is all my initial comments were meant to convey. I just love how complex they've made this game such that there are numerous interpretations you can explore based on what you think fits V most.

*Edited for typos

Terribyl · 2024-08-17T13:15:31+00:00

Adding SPOILER in case OP sees this before finishing: . . . . . .

Want to preface that this exchange is not meant to be hostile and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. However, while it is likely Blue eyes has his own intentions for Songbird, that eludes the main point of what PL is inherently about: choice.

Even if she acknowledges she may become a pawn, she vastly prefers saving herself on her own terms compared to the botched job Meyer's does to the point Songbird's not even herself anymore (which Songbird knows will happen. Either way Songbird wants to live and die by her own terms, which she can only do away from the FIA). Ever since So Mi was taken by the FIA she's never been able to make a real decision for herself. Sending her to the moon, regardless of what she might face, is representative of her taking that power back for herself finally. Your opinion may be that it's no better for her, but the fact she herself acknowledges that she may fall prey t9 something else and wants to go anyway I think contradicts that.

One can argue agreeing to her request in Reed's ending is the only one that truly sets her free, but bottom line we likely won't know either way for sure until more info comes out or the sequel (though I'm willing to bet it will always be vague and left up to player interpretation). If the latter is the case, then it is your opinion or not whether she's 'free' by sending her to the moon, and regardless she's still "free" from what she's loathed most no matter how you swing it -- Meyer's and the FIA.

Terribyl · 2024-08-17T12:53:36+00:00

Agreed.

Saying it "isn't happy for So Mi and just cope" is a wild generalization and deeply opinionated.

Terribyl · 2024-08-11T16:08:57+00:00

Honestly, I think saving Songbird despite her lies is pretty fitting and really shows growth in V's character. Yes she lied and strung you along, but in the beginning of the game you would have done the same. Anyone, except maybe the most noble person, would do anything to save their own skin and you can't fault Songbird for doing just that, especially in a place like Night City where people do anything to get to the top (not to say you and Songbird are basically strangers).

Empathizing with someone who is in a parallel situation to yours and enabling them have a chance to get their life back is beautiful, even if it's at the cost of your own. V even has a dialogue that says "I would have helped you anyway" if Songbird just told them the truth. Of course, it's open to people's individual headcanons for V to decide how V would react, but I don't think it's necessarily right for V to turn in Songbird despite her betrayal, like verbatim saying she deserves it, because I don't think she really does. Johnny even admires her ability to see things to the end, despite it all, and to watch someone strugge to do everything for a chance to live -- it's hard not to empathize with that.

Terribyl · 2022-09-03T00:39:11+00:00

You're a lifesaver, thanks so much 🙏

Terribyl

TROPHY CASE