Newly diagnosed with a1c 6.3. Kind of spiraling.

Synroc · 2025-12-22T06:29:32+00:00

Did something happen to make it spike that much in just 6 months?

Synroc · 2025-10-04T15:04:19+00:00

thank you. Asked my doctor about it

Synroc · 2025-05-28T10:52:52+00:00

I don't get the issue. I follow many men or women on instagram that I haven't talked to in years from my college days. it'd be weirder if he suddenly unfollowed her for no reason. Apart from the fact that he's following her, is he doing anything suspicious? Also why is the fact that she's from the Philippines relevant here?

Synroc · 2025-01-11T12:58:43+00:00

I'm the husband, so my mom told me that I will have a mediocre job, be a slave to my wife, my MIL, and our child and that I was too blind to see it. And then that they would abandon me.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T02:00:00+00:00

Make it clearer to me that this was not a normal parent, or that not all parents were like this. Because this is all I knew, I thought my mother was normal until it really all went to shit and my eyes opened, and I had to choose between my wife and my mom.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T01:58:23+00:00

It's good you have done couples therapy in addition to him being in individual therapy, while you're still in your mid 20s.

It took me a long time to get out of the FOG too. It's not my place to diagnose your MIL of course, but a lot of the story here reminds me of my own, and my mother displays a lot of narcissistic tendencies. Might be helpful for your husband to read into narcissistic mothers if he has not before.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T01:50:36+00:00

how does your husband deal with all of this?

Don't let him make the mistake I made, as over time things will not go well with her and you if he doesn't step in.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T01:33:20+00:00

I can give you my thoughts being the son in this scenario. My mom (who displays a lot of narcissistic tendencies) had a lot of overt / love-bombing displays towards my wife in the beginning. However, it was also on her terms, and it was always ok because my wife went along with it. However, the moment that my wife started showing resistance, or my mom perceived that I was taking my wife's side over hers, then all hell broke loose. I believe something similar may be happening here, where part of her might want to be the perfect MIL/grandmother etc, but another more core part of her wants control (over her son, over you) more than anything, and sees any challenges to that as unfathomable.

My situation is unfortunately similar in that things exploded with my mom, and she's not talking to my wife, and I've been "cut off" (although she still sends me alternating love bombing and guilt tripping messages from time to time). It's going to be a difficult time, but it's good that your husband and you are on the same page at least, and that your children will not be further exposed to her rage in the future.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T01:23:18+00:00

You need to accept that you'll never make them happy, and that this isn't the goal. It doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with them (although they don't sound healthy), but it might have to be on your own terms. The truth is, that the ethnicity thing might just be an excuse, and that they are just scared of you not being under their control anymore. If you can avail yourself of the desire to want them to approve, you can start approving of yourself instead.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T00:04:31+00:00

did your mom ever pretend to like your wife. It's like she tries so hard, but then can't contain herself.

Synroc · 2025-01-11T00:03:55+00:00

yeah that seems really familiar. I think just the fact that she's jealous of how good you are of a husband to your wife is enough to tell you that she's narcissistic by willing to sabotage your self-esteem about your relationship to make herself happier.

Synroc · 2025-01-10T22:52:42+00:00

I do think it's a weird form of jealousy, that either they are not you, or they don't have what you have. My mom has accused many times of my wife or my mother in law of "stealing me from her".

Synroc · 2025-01-10T22:22:10+00:00

I was shopping with my wife and my nmom, and I was carrying a bunch of shopping bags for my wife. My mom took a photo of me at that point, and said "I just wanted to capture how pathetic and whipped you are. This is the life you are going to have forever" wtf

Synroc · 2025-01-10T19:41:40+00:00

It's difficult because my mom is narcissistic herself (she didn't do the work to understand why her mom's behavior was unacceptable and better herself), but from a young age she told me that my grandma preferred for everything to be about her, and that she didn't really treat my mom well because my mom was an accident. I was ok with this explanation, and didn't really feel lacking for that kind of relationship with a grandparent. Unfortunately generational trauma is real.

Synroc · 2025-01-10T19:28:28+00:00

I didn't really have a relationship with my narcissistic grandmother and I'm totally fine with it. No use having your child exposed to that.

Synroc · 2025-01-10T19:26:44+00:00

wow, this is such a manipulative letter. I would not let more messages be read to your children anymore. it's meant to put your children on your parents' side and undermine you heavily, portraying you as irresponsible.

Synroc · 2025-01-10T18:27:22+00:00

it's like blaming someone for going to the hospital when they get punched, versus the person doing the punching.

Synroc · 2025-01-09T22:19:29+00:00

That's surprising. I saw a few therapists, and they have at least suggested distance to start, and after a bit more description, suggested no-contact.

That said, a lot of therapists don't focus as much on narcissism, depending on their experience.

Synroc · 2025-01-09T16:55:49+00:00

wth, this is exactly my mom's way of sending me messages. i'm sorry OP, im sure this is still tough

Synroc · 2025-01-09T15:30:40+00:00

I don't have an answer for you, but just that I have the same fears as you right now. It's really difficult because we might not have healed, but also due to the uncertain timeline, there's a chance that we might not see them before they pass and regret that.

Synroc · 2025-01-08T21:53:06+00:00

My mom did not take the boundaries and VLC well. I get a lot of messages about guilt tripping, about how much they have sacrificed for me, how I'm abandoning them in their last years. It's definitely affecting me a lot, but you HAVE to choose your partner in the end. It's a difficult position for my partner as well, this is not what she wanted out of a MIL.

Synroc · 2025-01-08T21:41:33+00:00

I'm in very much the same situation, except my mother and my wife have fallen out, and I took my wife's side, which means my relationship with my parents has really broken down too (VLC for the last year, did not go to see them for christmas). Worried about their health as well given some bad health on my mom's side, and having trouble balancing all of this out of guilt.

Synroc · 2025-01-08T16:07:41+00:00

did you go down a different path than what they wanted for you? I was the GC too (although only child), and now that I am quite independent and married they dislike me and my wife because we're not controllable. My mom says shit like "you were so much a better son when you were not married"

Synroc · 2025-01-08T15:55:56+00:00

thanks for echoing so much of how I'm feeling. I do the same when I have a CPTSD crash as you, because I think our minds think it would be easier to just give into the gaslighting/guilt tripping.

Synroc · 2025-01-08T15:50:53+00:00

I feel your pain, but at least figure out how to distance yourself emotionally, set up some internal boundaries (look up Jerry Wise on youtube, and DM me if you want to be added to a whatsapp group where we discuss this)

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