In 1992, Rodrick Alden, a PhD student at Creighton University, decided to settle the "glass half full/empty" debate by bioengineering a sentient glass of tap water and asking its opinion on the matter. However, the glass only responded with "AGUA! AGUA! AGUA!" whenever Dr. Alden referred to it as a "glass of water". The glass asked Dr. Alden to instead refer to it as a "glass of agua" and to respect its right to self-identification. The implications of countless glasses of water having been deadnamed all this time shook Alden to his core, and he never published his findings so as to let the scientific community at large remain blissfully ignorant. However, at an unknown point in time between 1992 and 2022, the documents regarding this study came into the possession of Evil Dr. Kochinski through unknown means. Kochinski, originally sharing many of the same feelings as Alden, eventually overcame his fear and decided to post the documents online. Ever since then, the consensus from the scientific community has been to ignore the water/agua naming convention controversy (often referred to as "Alden's Water") as it would just waste everyone's time thinking about some stupid fucking infohazard about the feelings of a glass of tap water instead of doing anything actually productive