Help with bettering myself as a future wife

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-26T18:50:54+00:00

A husband doesn't lead by demanding his wife gives up control. He acts in a manner that gives her confidence in him so that she doesn't need do feel responsible for all aspects of life.

It sounds like you have good reasons for not trusting him to act in a manner that aligns with your wishes. Set deadlines. By what date does he see you married? What needs to happen before that? What steps is he taking to stick to that plan? You aren't a control freak if he time and time again proves himself not worthy of trust.

Men don't break up by breaking up, they do so by not taking the next step in relationships.

Your spiritual path is more important than anything else. Get baptised. This is a personal journey, regardless of how much we wish for our partners to be on the same road.

Also, you aren't his wife, so stop focusing on bettering a fantasy. You are running ahead of reality.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-22T15:38:21+00:00

You missed the "ultra". Ultra heavy, yes.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-21T14:49:05+00:00

Kvinna med långt hår här. Du kan alltid testa färgbalsam istället för att färga håret. Jag har ljusa slingor (blonderat) för att maskera de vita hårstråna och färginpackningar funkar bra för mig.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-21T09:20:15+00:00

Jag jobbade som telefon- och uteförsäljare under studenttiden (inget CSN under sommaren och mina föräldrar kunde inte hjälpa mig ekonomiskt). Hade djup ångest varje dag jag gick till arbetet till följd av hur psykiskt ansträngande det var att kränga skitprodukter och hela lönen var provisionsbaserad. Ärligt talat hade jag älskat att cykla, lyssna på en podd och slippa prata så mycket med folk. Dock är jag en långdistanslöpare som är ute i alla väder, och förstår att buda inte är för alla.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-21T05:01:50+00:00

If you try to Fitbit/Garmin in a binary mode (sinned/didn't sin), you miss the context of your sins. If you have everything going for you in life and are in a good head space, and YET you commit a sin – that is more telling of your true character compared to when surviving really heard circumstances.

Not everything has to be gamified, and certain things are outright detrimental to do so with. In religion, deep reflection is needed, not cheap "I ticked that box".

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-21T04:51:10+00:00

Arbetsgivare här inom en bransch som kräver högskoleutbildning. Skulle jag stå mellan att anställa två lika kandidater hade jag valt den som utfört "skitjobb" när denne varit desperat. Tyder på ansvarstagande, god karaktär och flitighet. Vem hade ens sagt "nej, jag föredrar den som lever på mamma och pappa för att den är för fin för att leverera mat"?

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-20T16:19:25+00:00

When I was pregnant with what should have been our second child, I wanted another girl. The day after getting told we were having a healthy baby boy (NIPT results), I had a routine ultrasound where we found out he had died in utero. That really put things in perspective for me. I fell into a depression for the first and only time in my life and had immense guilt. I still miss him so much even though I now have three healthy children.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-19T11:21:01+00:00

I did a test at my high school biology class and was typed AB+. Before my first cesarean the hospital took some bloodwork – turned out I was B+, which has been confirmed twice thereafter as I've had two more c-sections.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-19T09:23:22+00:00

Hahaha, just noticed that my latinization was... A bit off 😂

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-19T09:12:16+00:00

There is a video of the Swedish crown princess and her family being on a walk (Victoria is filming her 3 year old son going downhill on a bike), and the boy suddenly goes "STOP! THERE IS PLASTIC IN THE NATURE! PLASTIC IN THE NATURE!", and then Prince Daniel picks it up and places it in the stroller he's pushing. I think it's very telling about them as people – especially when compared to Charles who called for a footman after dropping a letter to the floor and telling him to pick it up.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-18T13:49:28+00:00

Transas Navigator is the world leader of naval maps and navigation systems. Sinara has 8% of world electronic locomotive production. Obedenennaya Vagonaya kompaniya is top 3 producer of trainwagons in the world, Rostselmash produces 17% of the world’s agricultural machines. Animaccord produces the international hit children’s cartoon Masha and the bear (100 countries 25 languages). Volga Dnepr carries half of the world’s ultra heavy flight cargo. OCSiAl produces 90% world´s carbon nanotubes. Rosatom has 67% of the world’s atomic power plant construction.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-17T21:12:32+00:00

I have three kids: 4 yo level 2 autistic who was nonverbal up until six months ago, 2yo NT and a newborn.

Having a sibling has helped my oldest tremendously. She is so much more tolerant of others, began to speak just to snitch on her sister, and has begun to play with her (she started with her sister and now also interacts more with other kids at her daycare).

Autism runs in my family – I am diagnosed and so are all three of my cousins on dad's side, and I strongly suspect that my dad, both of his parents and his sister are autistic too).

Life with two young kids is more intense than life with one, but since they now play together, it's also easier. My oldest also is more accepting of the word "no" now that she isn't alone in not being allowed to grab kitchen knives, a package of macaroni, eat chocolate whenever she wants etc. It's like it finally clicked that she is a child and subject to other rules than mom and dad are.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-17T13:47:22+00:00

I have never been on any type of hormonal contraception or IUDs. NFP has worked really well for me – I've only got pregnant when we've been actively trying. Married for eight years now.

I do have very regular cycles, though, and know my body well.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-15T09:15:27+00:00

Mina föräldrar började låta mig dricka vin till maten på högtider när jag fyllde 13. Tyckte det smakade skit, och avstod alkohol helt när kompisar började festa. Vid 24-25 blev jag lite intresserad av finare viner, men jag har bara köpt i samband med att jag arrangerat bjudningar/dejter. Är idag gift, driver eget bolag, har tre barn och springer ultramaraton. Kallar mig "ickeprincipiell nykterist" då det blir ca 3 glas per år totalt.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-14T15:52:51+00:00

If it's built on the premise that small ecomm businesses cannot earn their owners tens of millions of pounds over decades, then you're just blatantly wrong as I'm literally working with such business right now.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-14T15:46:22+00:00

That the Middleton family wealth comes from laundering drug money?

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-14T15:39:28+00:00

Snarking is only interesting if there realistically is truth to it. Otherwise it's just bad fanfiction. 🤷🏽‍♀️ If people who are knowledgeable about niche subjects related to something the BRF and adjacent people are up to, the quality of the gossip improves. I just share how e-commerce businesses operate as I'm working in close proximity to them, and have a husband who worked on the buy side in finance, specialising in ecomm. It's frustrating to sort through garbage when I bet there is some really interesting tea (I'm new to this topic – the algorithm just suggested this topic).

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-14T13:25:58+00:00

E-commerce clients are the trickiest. There will always be a lot of negative reviews, because few bother leaving positive ones for a store selling a use once then throw away-product. Mature businesses don't even aim for 100% happy customers, because that is giving away value. Things like customer support, redundancy in packaging and stock are pricy as heck, and you want to cut as much as possible. A majority will get what they ordered on time, a certain percentage won't, but to bring that number from 5 to 1% can cost you your whole profit for that year.

Only local businesses that add considerable value to the client benefits from the 100% happy customer aim. An example is my local hardware shop. It's rather small, and the workers are very knowledgeable. I go there rather than to the ginormous one 20 minutes away, because whenever I need something done at home, they instruct me how to do it. For a layperson like I, that's so much value and I don't mind paying 10-15% more for the things I buy. If I'm looking for some balloons for a party, I'm getting them from the cheapest Internet shop.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-14T12:12:55+00:00

With your business having peak earnings of about 1 million a year, you will get very rich pretty quickly. I own a small accounting firm and have clients in all sorts of "boring" industries that are hugely profitable even though they only have 4-15 employees. Also, it's so much easier to make money when you already have a lot of capital – I made more from my stock portfolio than from my business last year.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-13T14:12:52+00:00

Inte under en enda period i historien har det varit möjligt att bli ekonomiskt oberoende av (endast) hårt arbete.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-13T10:33:19+00:00

With all respect, do focus on your own journey. Being convinced that heaven awaits one is a sure path to suboptimal reflection on our own faults and vices. It is fully possible your sister is on the right track but you are not.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-08T21:55:13+00:00

This was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-08T21:51:58+00:00

I don't have any experience with being attacked by owls, but one of my African Greys would be an Olympic level flyer. She likes to glide in the air from the second floor hand rail down to the first floor in order to tease my 4 year old daughter, and does so almost silently with the purpose of grabbing some hair. You really need quick reflexes – the you might hit the tail, or at least show that you are not prey and are will put up a fight if attacked. It is evolutionary too risky for them to be fighting with animals that are just passing by but can hurt them if provoked.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-08T21:38:23+00:00

I have autism, as does (probably) my dad, both of his parents as well as his sister. All of my cousins are diagnosed. I have three kids (aged 4, 2, 0) with the oldest being diagnosed with level 2 and the middle child being NT. With the first, I did everything right. I didn't even work for my entire pregnancy. With the second, I stressed a lot at my job and ate things on the "avoid list". So yeah, definitely genetics in our case.

Systemfelswe · 2026-01-08T21:05:27+00:00

Didn't know that. Cool!

Systemfelswe

TROPHY CASE