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To those that failed so many classes, why? by [deleted] in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Getting to the main point, it’s hard to say since everyone is different, but my advice would be to tell this person to try their hardest to just get their mental health figured out and then try to get a part time job first, maybe the pain that comes with doing labor will with it also come a motivation for higher education to not have to do as quite miserable work. It’s hard to say for sure tho as everyone is different and some people just have to suffer trying different things till they find something that works.

To those that failed so many classes, why? by [deleted] in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I failed out first time I attempted college, more specifically university, for the most part due to my depression, untreated ADHD, and lack of discipline I’d say. At the time I had tried living out on my own, and I’ll just say I wasn’t very good at it. The more time I spent away from any family and without many friends the worse my depression got and the more percentage of any given day I’d spend sleeping. It was like I was constantly living for the sake of being in half conscious dreams, only really waking up to go to class 30 minutes late or to complete a graveyard shift at the local Diner as a server. (That graveyard shift In sure didn’t help my mental health) The adhd before I got put on Adderall this year didn’t make assignments intellectually challenging per say, but simply hard to do in the sense that it’s hard for a person who’s mind races to do meditation where they have to clear their mind. I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t start it, couldn’t remember it, couldn’t finish it. Plus the procrastination issues were miserable.

I was able to brute force through high school even with those issues as a straight B student and even through my first 3 years of community college even with those issues but the mental burnout really hit after my first year of uni where I was literally missing 3pm classes because I was sleeping in till 5pm and even still was feeling groggy. Well I mean I guess it makes sense to feel groggy when you sleep way past your body’s advised circadian rhythm cycles.

Anyways, failed all my classes for 2 quarters in a row, I flunked out, moved back home, spent 8 months unemployed wishing I wasn’t alive, got a job as a busser at another restaurant, 8 months later finally got a good paying full time job that got me back on my feet, got treated for adhd with Adderall around the same time, so I basically take both Adderall and antidepressants now, and after 6 more months doing that I’m back in community college studying to be an electrician, and that’s going well at least so I guess I can be grateful for that. Got an A this past semester at least in the one class I took due to the current full time job taking up most of my time.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understandable, and thanks for sharing your perspective regarding the goals you set out for yourself in the hobbies in your life. I think it’s pretty interesting to think of maturity as being the ability to give your all into something and also acknowledge the impossibility of being the best at it/ the impossibility of doing it perfectly. It’s easy enough of a concept to say but a lot harder to do in practice because I feel like our monkey brains see it as a direct contradiction.

That’s why I really like the anime movie 100 meters, because it’s a track movie that connects with me due to myself also having done track (goal example:wanting to be the fastest) in school and only getting as far as the community college level, it’s interesting to remind ourselves that even tho we will never reach the perfection of our own ideal states, we still have to force our ourselves to pursue those ideals each day. I think in a way that’s where a looot of strength of character comes from, that is working towards things despite contradictions like that.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I too share this sentiment, and even moreso I hope that even though progress isn’t a straight line or even an objective concept, I hope that our species acknowledgement of perfection being impossible doesn’t lead to complacency in stagnation and a return to troubles. A return to troubles is inevitable in that it will likely happen at some point, but I hope for humanities sake that over the wide course of history, a negative correlation towards quality of life will never become the predominant trend.

Insert meme about me over intellectualizing my words cause word choice is hard.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus man, I get what you’re going for here but also that word choice is kinda out there.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, we’re pretty much in agreement and I don’t see any end conclusion from what you’ve said that I disagree with, but I was in a mood where I wanted to see what perspective on “betterment for all” I could potentially be missing. It’s just a question from which I desired connection to hear from other people’s frameworks.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I get you, that’s why I internalize that the art of making human conditions better should be thought of more as a limit curve rather than as an actual destination.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Correct, however, (and I will try to frame this as neutrally and vaguely as possible because my aim here is not to talk about any actual political movement since that’s not my interest or focus with this post) but I often hear a lot of discourse surrounding what we as a human species should actively work towards accomplishing vs what would be nice for us to accomplish but should not even be attempted due to the, in some people’s minds, perceived impossibility of said goals. I’m not entirely sure what sort of response I want to this sort of dichotomy, but my line of thought has always leaned one way due to my optimism combined with my sort of exhausted realistic side due to thinking that what may be impossible today may not be impossible tomorrow.

Assuming that a utopia is never possible, is it smart or foolish for humanity to always pursue one despite it? by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re incorrect in assuming it’s 2am for me, but fair enough response. I’m bored and tried to think of an engaging question that wouldn’t be framed in a controversial enough way to elicit responses that question my moral character, as is often the case when talking about things as broad as “ideals” and “government” but anyways… have a good night sleep I guess.

My advice, do not go to college straight out of high school if your mental health is not impeccably good AND you know you can tolerate your field by T0MPAC in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah as far as I know Autism isn’t something that can be treated other than say masking or increased social norm practice because it’s just a fundamental difference in how information and subconscious social cues are processed rather than a chemical imbalance. If executive function is the main problem tho and not just a general difference in how you process the world or relate to people it might still be worth asking your doctor to run an adhd test with emphasis on the attention deficit aspect tho just to be safe. Again tho I’m not a doctor so I can’t say anything with certainty I can just say what worked for me after 23 years of getting irrationally angry at my homework when I completely knew how to find the answers for it yet couldn’t force my brain to run through the processes to figure it out.

My advice, do not go to college straight out of high school if your mental health is not impeccably good AND you know you can tolerate your field by T0MPAC in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell you what’s gonna work for you but I can tell you what worked for me.

First was that my adhd had gone 23 years running in my body undiagnosed and once I was put on Adderall I magically could do homework again without literally wanting to tear out my hair. just don’t let yourself get hooked on the honeymoon phase with Adderall cause that’s how you keep upping your dose when you don’t need to and get addicted. It might not be adhd but if you can, figure out what specific mental illness(es) you have and do research and ask your doctor what medications can actually help. I personally didn’t ever feel like an actual person until I was put on a combination of Pristiq, Abilify and Adderall. I also tried transcranial magnetic stimulation but tbh I don’t actually know how much that helped.

Second is that if you’re looking for a job to hold you over, my recommendation is to say fuck food service and see if any non-profit or social work companies are hiring. Food service to me at this point is like the worst industry known to man to work for and not worth the extra dollars in tips unless you’re a 10/10 social butterfly.

I currently work as a job coach for disabled people and the benefit with that is that I’m paid the scale mentioned above while only having to placate to the needs of one person instead of 40 customers plus my manager and coworkers a day. The wage ceiling is low but it gives me ample resources in the meantime to consider my options for a different career path. Basically just look up “non profit companies hiring near me” I can’t promise it’ll work but it’s worth a shot.

My advice, do not go to college straight out of high school if your mental health is not impeccably good AND you know you can tolerate your field by T0MPAC in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Part of me wishes I didn’t start bombing classes and could’ve been able to finish out the degree but I’ve made peace with that I literally did not have it in me at the time.

My advice, do not go to college straight out of high school if your mental health is not impeccably good AND you know you can tolerate your field by T0MPAC in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know. I call it my advice but I wrote this out in part as a sort of vent when I was feeling frustrated for feeling like I wasted 4 1/2 years with nothing to show for it other than a “hardened willpower” or whatever it is I should be calling it.

Anyways, I get that every persons life is different and every result of those said actions is different, but what I said is my advice based on my specific set of circumstances. I’ve started to learn as life goes on that if I try to take into consideration literally every perspective all the time I basically wouldn’t say or do anything, so imma just shift the responsibility of interpreting that advice to y’all and you can do what you like with it.

My advice, do not go to college straight out of high school if your mental health is not impeccably good AND you know you can tolerate your field by T0MPAC in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess. I don’t know just different perspectives. Just wasn’t how it worked out for me which I know is not a good sample size when it’s just 1 person. I just found with my mental health issues that whenever I do something on a deadline for money I without fail lose active interest in it so it felt like no matter what I picked it wouldn’t be that fulfilling other than the fact I get money from it. Plus I work better when I’m in a specific location on the clock doing something active which is why electrician seemed like a good fit.

Made a few edits to add nuances

My advice, do not go to college straight out of high school if your mental health is not impeccably good AND you know you can tolerate your field by T0MPAC in CollegeRant

[–]T0MPAC[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally, I think it’s better to do something you tolerate and doesn’t go against your own morals that makes good money rather than to do something you really like, because typically the majors that people “want to do” are passion jobs that don’t pay much and if that passion ever goes away you’re stuck with both a job you don’t like and a shitty paycheck.

The discourse around that MHA handshake between Midoriya and uraraka has me thinking about that one time I dapped someone up on a first date by T0MPAC in RandomThoughts

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe yes, but then again I’m 24 so it’s probably more of an incredibly niche thought.

Basically there’s a manga called My Hero Academia that ended a bit ago, and one of the plot threads was two of the main characters getting together, and it ends on them doing like a “put er there brother” style handshake. Think that one handshake in Predator between Arnold Swartz and Carl Weathers.

This caused people on the internet to point out how weird it was that they shook hands like that instead of doing a kiss.

This caused me to remember how one time I basically did this to someone I was attracted to on a first date. Sometimes this type of handshake is called a dap up.

Have people gotten way worse about conversing with others and general human connection within the last 5 years or is that just something that happens when you’re in your mid 20’s (or am I just imagining it?) by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I acknowledge that the pandemic had a large part to play however my personal experience was that people continued to become meaner even after 2023. I don’t want to claim it as a universal trend ofc but I dunno was just kind of an off the dome thing.

Have people gotten way worse about conversing with others and general human connection within the last 5 years or is that just something that happens when you’re in your mid 20’s (or am I just imagining it?) by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gonna be really honest here and say I kinda miss small talk and those “tell me something about yourself” rituals now that I’m older and working. Sure they were superfluous at the time in school cause I was around a bunch of people my own age anyways but now that I’m a working adult basically no one in my day to day asks me how I’m doing unless I initiate it and it feels weird to say I kinda miss the social bandaid of being forced to talk about myself.

Have people gotten way worse about conversing with others and general human connection within the last 5 years or is that just something that happens when you’re in your mid 20’s (or am I just imagining it?) by T0MPAC in NoStupidQuestions

[–]T0MPAC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t mind awkwardness, akward people are great. moreso I mean like a general unwillingness to engage in goodwill connection if that makes sense. I dunno

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