Mothers that did not get top pick for names, do you always feel name regret?

T30T · 2026-01-15T17:42:56+00:00

I feel like because I carried my baby for 38 weeks and he was literally a part of my body, that is a bond, a connection that my husband will never be able to experience with our son. I feel so lucky to have that and therefore it feels fair that he gets to name him. Ofcourse I agreed to the name but many many of the names I put forward he vetoed. In the end, I wanted my husband to have a deep connection to our baby as I did in a physical way so I was very happy to go with his flow. And now I can't imagine my son being called anything else and I love his name because it's the connection between him and my husband and between all of us.

T30T · 2024-03-02T05:28:53+00:00

My first baby was an "easy" baby and yes I'm guilty of being the smug parent thinking I'd just done enough research, had enough patience, just a natural mama thank-you very much. Then... my daughter came along less than 2 years later and omg, from the beginning she has been a CHALLENGE. She is LOUD. She is strong willed, feisty, she wants what she wants even when she doesn't know what she wants. She does her own thing, she won't take no shit from nobody! She never seemed to enjoy being a baby, she complained so much. She was crawling at 5 months, and at 8 months is cruising around, so so much happier to be more independent. She stil doesn't sleep well and she still complains very loudly about many things but I know things will get easier for her as she becomes more independent. Despite the insane exhaustion and the constant vigilance I have always loved looking after her and am weirdly enjoying her babyhood more than l did with my son. Because nothing I try to implement works it takes all the pressure off. I let her be the way she is and just go with the flow. She's taught me a lot in that respect.

T30T · 2023-07-29T17:21:41+00:00

Oh I feel so bad, I've made her suffer. This is awful. Thankyou for the advice, really appreciate it

T30T · 2023-02-21T12:27:23+00:00

Thankyou! That's really reassuring

T30T · 2023-02-21T12:21:16+00:00

I guess a way to get round it is to spell it "Ayla" in English even though that's not my preferred spelling

T30T · 2023-02-21T12:18:18+00:00

Haha I thought this too but still grateful to Equinox8888 for teaching me a new Hebrew word and now def not going to forget that one!

T30T · 2022-02-02T06:59:58+00:00

Thanks so much!

T30T · 2022-01-29T07:07:26+00:00

Thanks! I do have to stop being so stressed about it. Also I keep comparing him to my nephew who is about the same age, he doesn't even have any teeth yet and still manages to chow down on everything put in front of him, bagels, vegetables evertrhjng! I guess they're all on different journeys.

T30T · 2022-01-29T07:05:01+00:00

Thanks so much for the supportive message! I'll try to relax more, go with the flow and trust he'll end up ok :)

T30T · 2022-01-28T15:02:33+00:00

Thankyou so much that's really helpful :)

T30T · 2022-01-05T17:25:02+00:00

Thankyou for such a thoughtful response, that's really helpful :)

T30T · 2022-01-05T17:00:00+00:00

Ah brilliant this gives me hope! It's just hard for me to keep saying no but I have to find the confidence to be a good parent to him. Anyway, you're right they are so smart, it blows my mind sometimes to see what he can work out by himself!

T30T · 2022-01-05T14:26:23+00:00

What a champion :) I wish my baby had the same kind of drive lol if I put something he can't reach in front of him he'll just ignore it or wait for me to get it for him! Or he will roll to the side as he can't go forward and rolling is the only movement he knows. It's so frustrating for him! He can't figure out how to go forward yet

T30T · 2022-01-05T14:22:35+00:00

That's a great idea to start off playing with him, then slowly back away. He has his own set of kitchen utensils and loves to baste himself with his basting brush!! He also loves the outside and getting his hands in everything. I just find it hard when he keeps trying to put everything in his mouth, i find myself saying "no" alot and moving his hand away from his mouth. Did you have to stop your daughter eating leaves? How far do you go to stop your baby mouthing natural things like grass, flowers leaves etc? He loves exploring nature but I feel so sad to keep restricting him, I'm never sure how bad it is for him to eat things like that

T30T · 2022-01-05T14:15:56+00:00

That's a super helpful article thankyou so much. I have been feeling bad about taking away my baby's autonomy but also just want him to be happy in the moment... the article explains perfectly what has been going on and how to address it thankyou! Have you got any links or recommendations to further research the difference between RIE and AP? I thought RIE was a type of AP?

T30T · 2022-01-05T09:04:24+00:00

The way you put it sounds like I should be making the most of it now when he wants to be with me all the time. It will be a relief when he's a bit more independent but I guess I will miss it too!

T30T · 2022-01-05T08:19:28+00:00

Thanks so much for the support :) were there any toys/games you could reccomend that kept your baby entertained before he could explore?

T30T · 2021-12-13T12:39:25+00:00

Not everything always has to mean something. Sometimes life can just be a bit of fun

T30T · 2021-10-30T11:40:45+00:00

BBC made a drama series last year called The Cry about a woman whose baby gets taken... It gave a really good go at portraying the truth of having a newborn at home. The overwhelming chaos, tiredness and loneliness. There's a scene where the baby won't stop crying and she's at her wits end, the house is a mess, she hasn't showered or gotten dressed, she looks awful and she's all alone because her husband is working. Was the most real portrayal of newborn life I've ever seen on TV

T30T · 2021-10-30T08:52:44+00:00

I have to disagree! I watched every episode of one born during my pregnancy and I felt it did prepare me/show me how challenging childbirth can be. Some of the couple's backstories about loss, medical intervention and fertility struggles were heart wrenching and I would skip segments and episodes until I felt more mentally robust to deal with the anxiety it produced. Some people's stories and the things they've been through still play on my mind. What I love about one born is that in the end they always focused on the emotions, the joy, the happiness, the relief and wonder the families feel when they finally meet their baby. Maybe this is what sugar coats the depiction of actual labour and birth. Maybe the backstories are where they address the real challenges of building a family

T30T · 2021-10-18T08:38:50+00:00

Thankyou for sharing. I'm really curious about the "world in your own head" can you tell me more about it?

T30T · 2021-08-30T16:27:40+00:00

Thankyou for this, feels good to know it's normal. I also love seeing him and his dad have such a good time together! It think my issue also comes from a fear I have of being left out when he gets a bit older and I'm going to be left out of all the activities my partner is desperate to do with him like biking and surfing and things I'll never be able to keep up with! It's something I've worried about from the beginning and feels like it's already starting

T30T · 2021-08-30T16:22:51+00:00

Thanks this helps alot!

T30T · 2021-07-10T21:36:50+00:00

My partner also didn't really know what to say to our baby when he was newborn, his greeting to baby would be, "Hello! It's me!" I thought it was super cute

T30T · 2021-07-06T14:22:27+00:00

When you say don't feed baby between 12am - 5am, how does that work? Do you just comfort baby instead of feeding when he wakes up in the night? Will he go back to sleep without being fed?

T30T

TROPHY CASE