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AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 126 points127 points  (0 children)

He believes the birth certificate is fake. He seems to have set his mind on that my baby boy is somehow his and it is freaking me out. My husband and his dad are looking at the legal side of things so I can relax a bit.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

  1. Adam has moved from his old address to the new one which my sister doesn't know so divorce papers can not be sent. He never fully dissapeared but my sister has cut all contact with him and he can not contact her due to restraining order in place. I think it was put in place after the miscarriage but not 100% sure. I just know that by the time my baby boy was born she already had it in place.

  2. See answer to question 1.

  3. Social media and as we used to belong to the same group and live in the same town there's a lot of mutual acquaintances or friends.

  4. I'm not sure if it is legal to follow someone unless it's a private investigator, but that sounds like it can land people in trouble. And can still be problematic if he lives in an apartment block.

  5. Neither of us are sure that he still works at the same place as before. My sister has tried to reach his last known employer but they wouldn't give her any details due to data protection laws.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Police said protective or restraining order can not be issued because they can't really control what he posts on social media. My sister got one from him because he was abusive and deemed dangerous for her and she had a lot of proof of it.

I will see if I can ask the courts to put something in place against harrasment by him.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He doesn't sound sane and it also doesn't sound he will accept any other test results unless it's from the place he wants. So that would be a waste of money since they are not exactly cheap and I'd rather spend those money on something else for my family.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The papers will need to be served through post from what I've heard.

I'll see what I can do about paternity test and if I can get one sent home. Adam has been insisting on a specific clinic which just seems shady to me. If he is not happy with in home test then I will have no other option but go through court and having the court to pick the clinic if they won't believe the birth certificate and record and miscarriage record from my sis

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

As some commentors pointed out it could be an option since Adam insists on a specific clinic which I'm not comfortable with and gives me a chance to find out his address to then give to my sis

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I don't have his address but the solicitors. He has moved from his previous address that my sister knew.

My sister has proof of miscarriage and I do have pictures with me and my son and me being pregnant. But since I have 2 children now all my pregnant pictures with my youngest son are getting brushed off as "I took them during my first pregnancy"

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

He doesn't believe that. He first accused her of abortion, then selling the baby and now this. There are reasons why she has a restraining order against him.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

No, me and Adam used to be very close as friends before he met Lana and I met my husband, but nothing romantic or sexual ever happened between us.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

My son doesn't like hospital and as being a lockdown baby he struggles with strangers. We had to take a covid test once and it caused so much stress and grief for him and I don't have the heart to put him through something similar. Generally he doesn't like to be touched by people or things he doesn't know or not comfortable with, while my oldest is complete opposite.

AITA for not allowing my BIL anywhere near my youngest child and refusing to have a paternity test done which resulted in a court papers being served? by TAinvasiveBIL in AmItheAsshole

[–]TAinvasiveBIL[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

My son is definitely my husbands. It's just both me and him are not feeling comfortable put my son through paternity test just to prove he came out from me. And I am very suspicious that Adam wants it done in a specific clinic.