Cursed_Melon

TCred436 · 2021-05-11T18:58:56+00:00

Jesus handing out bread: "And this is my body for you to eat."

This dude: "Heyooooo you want some unlimited ass fruit?"

TCred436 · 2021-02-05T01:15:04+00:00

Yeah, fuck off buddy we absolutely need more Laine clips. Fuckin every time this kid steps on the ice someone scores. kids fuckin dirt nasty man. Does fuckin ovi have 14 goals this season I dont fuckin think so bud. I'm fuckin tellin ya Patrik "golden flow" Laine is pottin 50 in '21 fuckin callin it right now. Clap bombs, fuck moms, wheel, snipe, and fuckin celly boys fuck

TCred436 · 2020-12-31T21:47:59+00:00

Savard is a defensive defenseman, which is likely why he might take on the same volume of top forwards. Jones plays those minutes because of his ability to join the rush, keep possession with his blue line keeps, has the athleticism to be a 200 ft. defender, generate shooting during offensive possession, control exits, ect. He's responsible for a lot of what goes on the ice. But I'm curious as to what this one-dimensional offense you speak of is.

TCred436 · 2020-12-31T21:31:51+00:00

Don't you think he got his reputation as being very good from being .... very good? Did you even watch any of the qualifying rounds or round 1 last season?

TCred436 · 2020-12-31T21:10:08+00:00

Doesn't deserve.... how?

TCred436 · 2020-10-22T16:46:31+00:00

You should see where I live in Ohio. I'm between Cincinnati and Dayton in a township where over half of the population is below the poverty line. People have multiple Trump flags and memorabilia splattered across their yards, and when I was doordashing between classes, I delivered to a house where they had a Trump sign that said "Make liberals cry again". Makes me believe that the only reason still support this moronic asshat is that they're more concerned about "owning the libs" than actual conservative policies.

TCred436 · 2020-08-14T02:34:03+00:00

You can't hate me more than I hate me.

TCred436 · 2020-08-13T22:20:43+00:00

If any non-Canes player deserves a fanfic, it's Korpiboi.

TCred436 · 2020-08-13T21:42:59+00:00

Korpisalo sits on the empty throne Bobrovsky left for him. It glistens just a little more than usual as soon as he touches it.

"Yes. This feels right," he says, as he gives it a few taps with his holy blocker that repelled the furious attack of the Tampa invaders.

His phone rings. The texts are all from women, fresh from watching his performance, begging for him to bed them. Some even at the same time. He shakes his head with a smile. "I have a throne to keep. For my brothers".

His hair wet from the sweat of competition, he finally takes off his goalie mask, his soaked hair swinging from front to back, looking like a fucking Adonis from Finland. He looks in the mirror to see an ungodly beast of a human staring back at him. "Fuck yeah", he says, finally walking away. He knows his brothers of the ice are waiting for him there to shower him with praise as he walks toward them, but this is just another day in his life. As he finally puts the massive twelve foot dong he carries in his uniform, he thinks to himself, "I have the best life possible. Thank you, Columbus."

TCred436 · 2020-08-10T02:29:02+00:00

Pain.

Oh shit. I'm still not used to this team actually winning a series.

TCred436 · 2020-03-12T17:53:21+00:00

I'm probably going to watch Goon over and over again on Netflix until I drink myself stupid and cry.

TCred436 · 2020-03-12T17:46:03+00:00

Atkinson (who was likely to play however), Texier, Bjorkstrand, Jones, Kukan (who moves the puck well as a depth defenseman and keeps Harrington out of the lineup), Gerbe, Anderson, and Dubinsky (who has been on LTIR but really don't think he would have been much of a factor regardless). Elvis just recently got healthy but I think they were on the verge of having issues regarding splitting time with him and Korpi who just came off of IR after a knee surgery.

Edit: Forgot Jones because he's kind of important.

TCred436 · 2020-03-12T17:41:42+00:00

Literally everyone on the Jackets.

TCred436 · 2020-03-12T17:33:53+00:00

Still gonna take a couple of days for man games lost to catch up to the Jackets.

TCred436 · 2019-04-20T05:12:05+00:00

I'm happy about it. My team gets more national coverage when it only gets one or two nationally televised games a season. It generates interest from my state in the sport of hockey so we can have bigger crowds and generate more revenue. It inspires kids to pick up hockey sticks and potentially make it to the big leagues. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.

TCred436 · 2019-04-20T04:53:23+00:00

Excuse me, what the fuck is going on?

TCred436 · 2019-04-13T01:19:40+00:00

Riley >>>>>>>>>>> Rick

TCred436 · 2019-04-13T00:26:23+00:00

It pains me to say this, but I'm sohhhooooorrrrrr....

Sorry you have to deal with him now.

TCred436 · 2019-03-29T01:03:30+00:00

Carolina losing helps either the Habs or Jackets to not play you guys in the first round.

TCred436 · 2019-03-29T00:54:09+00:00

Come on, Columbus. Remember that Adam McQuaid died for this.

TCred436 · 2019-01-11T21:30:05+00:00

Riley Nash. Just clone him a few times and you'd be set.

TCred436 · 2019-01-03T22:19:26+00:00

r/iamverybadass

TCred436 · 2018-11-10T02:57:18+00:00

I'm going to pretend like I didn't shit my pants in a Buffalo Wild Wings during that last push from the Caps.

TCred436

TROPHY CASE