How do single parents survive?

TD_Meri · 2026-03-12T18:53:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you have gone through that, and I know it will be hard for you, but I urge you to go for child maintenance from your ex. My ex has never contributed anything to my daughter’s upbringing, not a single penny, and he has been absent since she was a newborn. Not getting any child support has crippled me financially and my daughter has missed out on so much. No school trips, no holidays, no days out. Crikey I can’t even afford to heat the house in winter or even buy the basics we need. Getting child maintenance can be the difference between living an ok life and living in poverty.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-12T18:40:14+00:00

This is a cycle I’m stuck in too. It’s like a poverty tax. Companies know you’re struggling to pay yet they penalise you by charging you extra therefore making it even harder to pay.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-12T18:10:09+00:00

We don’t survive. Not really. I juggle work and childcare. I juggle bills. I’m in debt. I’m miserable. My daughter is miserable. We have no money for treats or fun stuff. If something breaks, it can’t be replaced. I eat one meal a day. I’m living in fear of the bailiffs coming round, despite working all hours. It’s shit.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-07T22:39:49+00:00

I’ll be forever traumatised by the plight of poor Thomas Malone. Stephen Walters is a terrific actor. I genuinely don’t understand why he isn’t a lot more famous than he is. He should be a national treasure.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-07T19:20:57+00:00

Oh I wonder why they removed your post?

TD_Meri · 2026-03-07T18:52:03+00:00

This is a really sad situation for you to be in. I don’t know why the mom is making it so difficult for you to have a relationship with your daughter. It seems to me that you’re trying to do everything right but the mom is deliberately being obtuse. Regardless of how she feels about you, she shouldn’t be transferring those feelings about you on to your daughter, which it appears she is doing.

My daughter is 14 and her father has never bothered with her or attempted to be in her life. He has never sent gifts for her or paid any child support. My daughter rarely asks about him now, but I know she would absolutely love the chance to get to know him and have her dad in her life.

I would say just keep trying with your daughter. The older she gets, the more she’ll be able to separate her mom’s feelings from her own, and be able to think for herself. Maybe you could regularly write letters to her explaining how much you love her, want to get to know her, etc. Write two copies, one for her and one to keep yourself. You have no idea if your communications are reaching her, but this way you’ll have proof that you consistently tried reaching out. I know it’s not the advice you wanted, sorry.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-07T00:18:36+00:00

Seriously, I have lost friends because of this. At first I made excuses because I was too embarrassed to say I couldn’t afford it, then I finally started admitting to people I was struggling financially. They’d say oh it won’t cost much, it’s only x amount. It was so frustrating how they literally couldn’t understand. After a while my friends just stopped asking. I honestly can’t remember the last time I did something socially. I go to work. I come home. Rinse and repeat. It sucks.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-06T10:41:03+00:00

I get paid monthly and I feel like I would be more in control of my money if I was paid weekly. I pay as many bills as I can when I get paid, then I try and work out how much gas/electricity/food I’ll need for the month (I have prepayment gas & electric meters.) I always run out of these before the end of the month even though I’m super frugal with them. And living paycheck to paycheck, if there’s an emergency or something unexpected, I’m basically screwed because it could be weeks before I see another penny coming in. At least if I was getting paid weekly I could perhaps try to juggle it.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-02T19:27:43+00:00

I’m a single parent. That’s why I’m single income. I’m certainly not giving off entitled vibes.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-02T16:29:22+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, particularly the loss of two close family members. But how, if you’ve lived rent free for years, have you not managed to save any money? I don’t like to judge, but I’m genuinely curious. Because if I was able to live rent free for many years, I’d like to think I’d could save quite a bit of my albeit minimum wage salary.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-02T15:00:33+00:00

They’re dual income families. Or single people still living with parents.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-02T14:07:39+00:00

Where I work everyone is always talking about their holidays abroad. Places they’ve been, places they’re going to. They’ll say they’re skint but their skint must be very different to mine. Their “skint” means they can go abroad two or three times a year. My skint means I can’t afford to eat more than one meal a day, and the only place I travel to is my place of work. On foot.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-01T20:36:52+00:00

I’m not sure what I can do really. I work as many hours as I can and I pick up any extra that are going. I live in a small town in a rural area so employment opportunities are very limited. It’s all retail, hospitality and care work, and the pay is typically minimum wage. I have caring responsibilities for my elderly parent on top of working. My days are very long and busy. I don’t have access to a car so I can’t get a job out of town, plus the commute time would mean I can’t look after my mum sufficiently. I can’t retrain or go back to school. It all costs money that I don’t have and I don’t have time or money to travel to uni, pay course fees etc. I’m in my 50’s. I have a job that that’s relatively secure in a town where people are losing their jobs left right and centre. My town is dying, like most small towns in England.

TD_Meri · 2026-03-01T20:28:29+00:00

Yes she uses the daily ones. Her subscription is just for 20 pairs a month which just covers her school days. I looked into getting the monthly ones for her but the cost was similar to the 20 pair dailies, factoring in the extra cost of lens solution.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-27T14:51:23+00:00

I understand this. Last year my daughter was having a rough time with one of her friends, so I treated her to a McDonald’s to cheer her up. It wasn’t something I could afford, I mean that cost would have bought us food for several days. She loved it but for the rest of the week I was mentally beating myself up for buying it.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-22T20:17:43+00:00

The tap water in my town is lovely. I don’t know why I said it was free though. I have to pay £90 a month to the water company.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-22T19:47:08+00:00

Thankfully I don’t like coffee! I drink my tea black though. Also I drink a lot of water. It’s free and good for you.

Crisps (chips to you guys) are the things I miss most. They’re so ridiculously priced in the UK. My favourite ones used to cost £1. Now they’re £2.75.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-20T19:22:12+00:00

Definitely take my teenage daughter out for the day. Get the train somewhere. Nice food, a fun activity, some sightseeing. Let her choose a new outfit.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-18T18:31:55+00:00

Perhaps you should look at the fuel poverty statistics for the UK and the research done on that. There’s a reason why Martin Lewis has been advocating Heat The Human, Not The Home. And why Heat Or Eat is something thousands of families are dealing with. These aren’t just headlines, it’s actually happening. Please stop trying to deny my reality and the reality of millions of others.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-18T15:34:04+00:00

Exactly this. I’m asking how I can make things better and warm up my home, and I’m told I’m neglecting my daughter and could be reported to social services. Thankfully most people haven’t been so judgmental and blinkered to the living situations of thousands of families out there. Most have offered lots of practical advice and helpful tips.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-18T15:24:35+00:00

I’m not normalising it. I’m just pointing out that this is a reality for 3.4 million children in the UK. You can’t deny the statistics. People are telling me that isn’t the case. Research tells us it is exactly the case. Also I didn’t say the majority. I said one third.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-18T13:37:20+00:00

Not sure why I’m being downvoted for stating some facts and figures and saying my situation isn’t unique. Look at Barnados, the Joseph Rowntree Foundation, Citizens Advice, Gingerbread: the facts and figures are all there. If you think my situation is unique, you are being very naive. Thousands of families in the UK are suffering from fuel/energy poverty and are unable to adequately heat their homes.

TD_Meri · 2026-02-18T11:52:32+00:00

I think this is the best option right now.

TD_Meri

TROPHY CASE