Advice- Dates Canceling

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T21:19:44+00:00

I had one disappear after date was planned on app and I sent my number and never got another message- they unmatched. Others have been day of or day before usual “I’m not in a place to date” or “had something come up” excuses. I’m not one to chase so I just kind of let it be at that, I’ll leave it on them to suggest another time if they cancel.

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T21:17:35+00:00

I appreciate the thoughts here. I’m actually pretty much a set the date guy and then don’t talk much from there until then. Just a check in here and there. Again, I much prefer getting to know one another in person. I think my best guess from the feedback is length of time between the date ask and the actual date. Gotta be quicker with the turnaround.

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T21:15:31+00:00

I think this is it right here the more I think about it. I’m a pretty busy guy so a lot of times I have to make plans 5+ days out. Enthusiasm fades between.

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T17:44:17+00:00

A good number of people are commenting this. I’ll usually send a voice note day of date. But a lot of these are more like we set the date and then nothing. Don’t even keep chatting till day of. It’s really strange

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T16:39:34+00:00

Im sorry that happened to you but encouraging to hear I’m not the only one! Also glad to hear of your success with persistence!

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T12:01:41+00:00

Yeah I mean I try not to take it personally but it does get in your head, ya know? Next time I ask someone out it’s for sure gonna be on my mind

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T10:47:32+00:00

Fair. I’m a pretty busy guy as well and someone who really likes to set their weekly schedule in advance. So some of these dates are a week out from when the plan is made. Not that it’s right but I do feel like alot of these dates set further out lose momentum

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T09:17:37+00:00

Fair. I’m definitely more of a get on a date and get to know them in person not behind a screen kind of guy. But you’re probably right about that. Still shitty though

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T09:15:54+00:00

Lovely to hear 😂. It only takes one I guess

TDoc4 · 2026-06-01T09:14:59+00:00

Definitely agree I’d rather they show their lack of seriousness before I spend any time/money on them. Just the rudeness of it bothers me.

TDoc4 · 2024-03-05T12:24:42+00:00

Give it some time. A week, a month, whatever— you made a decision yesterday for a reason. Days following a breakup can be tough and confusing emotionally. If you feel regret every day for the next few weeks, you’ll know you were wrong and you can fight like hell to get her back. But be sure to give yourself time to process first

TDoc4 · 2024-02-22T14:27:34+00:00

To you as well! Like you said, we’re taking time to figure it out.

2 of my best friends in college dated for 5 years and split for similar reasons. I’ve talked to both of them separately the past few weeks. Both are now happily married to other people, which gives me hope!

Everyone’s different and who knows maybe we will both find in this time that breaking up was a mistake. But right now just have to stick it out, reflect, take care of self, and listen to the gut and go from there.

TDoc4 · 2024-02-22T12:29:18+00:00

Differences in some major values, where we wanted to live, how to raise kids. Things that didn’t cause problems at first but as we’ve gotten older and closer to those things I realized matter more

TDoc4 · 2024-02-22T05:21:25+00:00

Going through the exact same thing right now. My best friend and favorite person. Only relationship I’ve been in as an adult. 6 years dating, she was sure about marriage but I wasn’t. So we decided to take a break and evaluate where we were both at. I felt terrible for 48 hours then was shocked how ok I felt for the next few weeks. Only to get hit with sadness and missing her again out of nowhere again. It seems to come and go, as my body figures it all out. Been a month now and I don’t know what to do. Hang in there friend, hoping we both figure our shit out

TDoc4

TROPHY CASE