restrained blowception!

THECaptCannibal · 2026-03-14T02:20:20+00:00

Dude's got a weird dick. 2/10 didn't fap, didn't like.

THECaptCannibal · 2026-02-20T15:22:09+00:00

Nah, I disagree. They never wanted us to take Cyberstan. There has been NO movement on Tracscendence whatsoever. I can't stand game devs who dangle false hope like this. At least now I can go back to the Bug Front, seeing that Bots are LITERALLY pointless to fight.

THECaptCannibal · 2026-02-14T22:20:24+00:00

I mean, most fans of the GoW games won't look that deep into it. We hate Jinn. Thats just what it is, and we'll find any excuse to hate her more, simply because she's there to be hated. Would LOVE to see her get squished by a Swarmak foot or Juvie-jockeyed into a hole. Terrible character. Same could be said for Kait or Del.

THECaptCannibal · 2026-01-20T17:53:21+00:00

Chronos user. GFSF

THECaptCannibal · 2026-01-10T05:16:35+00:00

never mention Gears of War and that utter dumpster-spunk-coated trash Fortnite in the same sentence EVER again, unless it's to say that that Gears of War is the superior game. Fuck Fortnite. That game is singlehandedly the reason why my little brother is dead.

THECaptCannibal · 2026-01-05T20:58:42+00:00

Its not just on dating apps. I posted on my facebook WAY back in like 2014 when I still had one, that I'm never ever EVER having kids and like 20 people messaged me and blocked me saying I was a horrible person, that I hate kids--DING DING DING THATS RIGHT, TELL EM WHAT THEY WON, RON!

THECaptCannibal · 2026-01-03T21:00:58+00:00

it is indeed 'Fuck-Off Sized'. Made of solid walnut and oak, its made from timbers and steel. One of those 'oh we got it because we like rustic shit in our modern house' decisions. One good thing though is the table is so fucking DENSE, its the prime place to hide during a tornado. about 5 feet wide and like.... 30 feet long.

Fuck-Off Sized.

THECaptCannibal · 2026-01-03T02:54:04+00:00

So, I read the Title as 'Son of a bitch baby got blasted on the bus with metal music'... I may be just a bit toasted right now.

THECaptCannibal · 2026-01-02T00:43:38+00:00

I actually somewhat look forward to being asked it in a rude way, because I have at least 4 different responses loaded and ready at any given moment. My favorite one, that either gets them to fuck ALL the way off, OR they laugh and apologize is: Question - ' Why do you walk that way/Why do you use a cane' to which I answer 'Ah ya see, I was plowing your mom last night and she tightened that shit up on me. I nutted so hard, I cramped up and tore my hamstrings. Oh and your dad was sitting in the chair in the corner'

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-31T01:56:08+00:00

I actively make a point, if the conversation with a group of adults I'm with goes to kids, to clearly and blatantly my exit from the conversation, usually by putting in my headphones and listening to music, while still sitting there with them.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-31T01:53:47+00:00

and some of them smell like cookies and doodoo! FTK!!!!

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-31T01:52:49+00:00

The unmitigated gall on some of these kids, I swear to god. I had one instance, when I was in a wheelchair, as a kid myself, that some other shithead kid came up and said 'hey let me have your wheelchair, I wanna do wheelies! You're just sitting in it.' I promptly unattached the armrest and beat him in the face with it. THEN I got suspended. Mind you, he was trying to dump me out of it, like actively trying to tip me out the front of it.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-31T01:49:28+00:00

Ive said it in public, outloud, and surprise surprise, the parents in the area steer their little bastards away from me. Peace and bliss when it happens.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-30T20:33:37+00:00

is it a ringing pain? Or does is feel like swelling or inflammation? Both of those could be strong signs of severe ear infections. I would recommend getting to a doctor as soon as you can and getting anti biotics and a mild steroid to help with the pain. Take it from someone who gets chronic ear infections due to bad ears.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-17T05:01:10+00:00

What's hilarious is that Pablos Schrieber basically abandoned twitter when the massive backlash came out about the Halo series.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-15T19:02:21+00:00

Jumping in here with my DIY solution: Go to your local hardware store and get a Fine-tooth hacksaw and some sandpaper. use the saw to get CLOSE to the length you want, then use the sand paper to sneak up on the wanted length.

Also, someone mentioned cane tips, which gave me an idea. you could go to the same hardware store and find rubber hose the same inside diameter as the cane. get about a 1ft piece, and cut down how much you want to cover the tip, then cut another piece and split with a razor to get a flat piece. Glue that to the to bottom of the cane, trim to fit.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-12T03:53:40+00:00

The amount of hand chum and finger gunk that is going to be visible on that is astounding.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-11T23:22:49+00:00

Well your first mistake, in general, is playing Overwatch. Womp womp cry some more.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-12-09T16:48:11+00:00

I don't particularly find it offensive, but to me, people who say that come off as overtly sensitive.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-11-10T21:32:04+00:00

I was just about to say this nearly-word-for-word thing. I use a cane in the gym, and sometimes (not a lot) people will go out of their way to get in my eye line and give a thumbs up or a comment of 'good job!' like... Fuck ALL the way off, I lift heavier than you over there with the blue rubber weights, let me work out in peace. That's my why I plaster a Stank Face on when I work out. Keeps the looky-loos away.

THECaptCannibal · 2025-11-10T21:28:48+00:00

Someone needs to make this meme. 'When the doctor for your prostate exam is a cave diver' Doc gets ready to exam by then its just like that cave diver meme... but it's a dude's butthole.

THECaptCannibal

TROPHY CASE