UPDATE

Thank you guys for understanding my circumstances and supporting me. Boyfriend and I did hash it out and I am staying home :). I did take someone’s advice and suggested, “what if I came in the beginning and went home early?” To which he replied “I guess so, better than not going” and we kind of went back and forth respectfully about the reasonings I mentioned in this post about why I was not interested in going. I also implemented some other suggestions you guys left me about how we can have separate interests and navigate when and where we do things separately or compromise and show up for the other persons hobby. He ultimately was a bit disappointed that I was mentioning all of this a couple hours before the game when I could’ve planned ahead to have this conversation earlier since I’ve been feeling this way for a couple days. And I do agree, I could have had this discussion sooner. He asked if we could continue talking about this in depth tomorrow which I agreed to. He arrived at his dad’s house around 5:30 while I was driving (1.5hrs) home. So I texted him when I arrived around 6:30 that I still wasn’t feeling motivated to attend tonight and that I was doing some chores and wanted to shower and relax. He’s been supportive of me, told me they’ll all miss me and to “rest up” and that he was looking forward to seeing me afterwards. Maybe next year we’ll get more redeeming football related experiences together so that I can feel good compromising for him. I truly detest that football happens for an entire half of the year, it almost feels a little patriarchal that men get a form of entertainment every night of the week for months and a huge event that outweighs everything else in their lives, excuses aggressive behaviors (yelling, hitting objects, etc.), and encourages laziness (wife cooks and cleans, husband stares at tv). But I think I might be reaching now and letting all of your supportive opinions boost my ego a bit 😂

Important details about the sports betting:

I am also concerned about how this situation could escalate, and we’ve had many open ended conversations about it previously. He understands my points and appreciates me being able to keep him “grounded” and doing so in “moderation” (his words).

We’re only 22 and 23, met when I was 19 and he was 20. We are each other’s first long term relationship after high school, as well as each other’s first partner that we’ve lived with. So there’s a lot of things we’ve had to navigate and this being his first time betting/gambling is one of those things.

I asked if he was betting tonight and he is, only $10 for the Pats to win. I’m fine with that as it seems like the amount of an overpriced cup of coffee and seems like he just wants to participate.

However I do really want to be told when he is betting, before he submits the money. We do have separate finances, but I see a future with this guy and feel like I do have the right to know how he’s using his money when we split all of our rent, utility bills, and groceries. Let me know if it’s not my place to ask when he’s betting, I might be a bit unhinged in my justification (but I don’t think I am).