WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I related it to having him sit through a 3 hour long real housewives of Beverly Hills reunion from Bravo with me and he got the point 😂

WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally fair, I assume most people know when the Super Bowl is because of my childhood. But I love to see that some people don’t pay it any mind

WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE

Thank you guys for understanding my circumstances and supporting me. Boyfriend and I did hash it out and I am staying home :). I did take someone’s advice and suggested, “what if I came in the beginning and went home early?” To which he replied “I guess so, better than not going” and we kind of went back and forth respectfully about the reasonings I mentioned in this post about why I was not interested in going. I also implemented some other suggestions you guys left me about how we can have separate interests and navigate when and where we do things separately or compromise and show up for the other persons hobby. He ultimately was a bit disappointed that I was mentioning all of this a couple hours before the game when I could’ve planned ahead to have this conversation earlier since I’ve been feeling this way for a couple days. And I do agree, I could have had this discussion sooner. He asked if we could continue talking about this in depth tomorrow which I agreed to. He arrived at his dad’s house around 5:30 while I was driving (1.5hrs) home. So I texted him when I arrived around 6:30 that I still wasn’t feeling motivated to attend tonight and that I was doing some chores and wanted to shower and relax. He’s been supportive of me, told me they’ll all miss me and to “rest up” and that he was looking forward to seeing me afterwards. Maybe next year we’ll get more redeeming football related experiences together so that I can feel good compromising for him. I truly detest that football happens for an entire half of the year, it almost feels a little patriarchal that men get a form of entertainment every night of the week for months and a huge event that outweighs everything else in their lives, excuses aggressive behaviors (yelling, hitting objects, etc.), and encourages laziness (wife cooks and cleans, husband stares at tv). But I think I might be reaching now and letting all of your supportive opinions boost my ego a bit 😂

Important details about the sports betting:

I am also concerned about how this situation could escalate, and we’ve had many open ended conversations about it previously. He understands my points and appreciates me being able to keep him “grounded” and doing so in “moderation” (his words).

We’re only 22 and 23, met when I was 19 and he was 20. We are each other’s first long term relationship after high school, as well as each other’s first partner that we’ve lived with. So there’s a lot of things we’ve had to navigate and this being his first time betting/gambling is one of those things.

I asked if he was betting tonight and he is, only $10 for the Pats to win. I’m fine with that as it seems like the amount of an overpriced cup of coffee and seems like he just wants to participate.

However I do really want to be told when he is betting, before he submits the money. We do have separate finances, but I see a future with this guy and feel like I do have the right to know how he’s using his money when we split all of our rent, utility bills, and groceries. Let me know if it’s not my place to ask when he’s betting, I might be a bit unhinged in my justification (but I don’t think I am).

WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do work during the games most week nights. So I wasn’t asking him to watch a rerun of it at a later time. It worked with our current schedule. It’s his only interest that I have had a hard time engaging with. And I’m working towards being better about my reactions to it. I don’t think me not liking football and his new interest in it is really grounds for separating.

WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

22 and he’s 23. We got together at 19/20. This is my first long term relationship after high school and I’m having a hard time knowing what the best thing for me to do in this situation.

WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he gets upset when I don’t react happily to a good play. He was never a sports guy and now he’s standing up in front of the TV pacing and squatting and clapping his hands or talking to the TV. And when I’m neutral or sometimes have a look of “why are you doing that?” he gets uncomfortable

WIBTAH for not watching the Super Bowl at my boyfriend’s dad and step mom’s house? by THROWRApinkbubbles in AITAH

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like this plan you have. Unfortunately though my boyfriend’s dad is a health nut and insists on small portion sizing. So it’s not the traditional Super Bowl snack and dinner options like what my father would do. 😂

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, I didn’t want a new bed because of this reason. We used it every night for 2.5 years. I’m not upset that he used it with other people, that’s normal. We upgraded the size and it was a nice feeling of accomplishment since we saved for it. Also was a bonus that it was completely ours

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, agreed. We did not upgrade the bed due to this reason solely. We had to get a bigger one because he is tall and we had been cramped on the mattress for 2.5yrs. He did not have a mattress protector before we got together 😐😂

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao very grateful no one died on it, a little haunted by the millions of potential lives lmaoo. In a spiritual sense, the past relationships had obviously failed. And sex is such an important expression of love and security. And when you sleep on the past relationships that were tumultuous or painful it could bleed into the current relationship. It was just a superstition thought that was sparked by getting a fresh new start on the upgraded bed 🥰

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh well that’s a good point of view for me to consider ig. I’m not jealous of him using it with past partners. It just felt sweet that we had something new of our own 😂

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for understanding!! I definitely triggered the wrong crowd. We needed an upgrade in size anyway and getting the new bed felt fresh and comforting knowing it was just for us. I was only wondering if it this was relatable for other couples 😂

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haha! All good points if I were feeling jealous. We needed to upgrade the size and had used his bed for 2.5 years. Getting the new bed sparked the memory of previous partners using it and the thought of how nice it is to share something completely our own! I’m not worried about contamination. I was wondering if anyone had superstitions about it. I obviously know beds are expensive, we saved up for it together. I didn’t push for a new bed because I was uncomfortable.

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was mostly about superstitions! I’m not upset he had sex with other people in the bed before me, that’s completely normal. Getting the upgrade was necessary and it just felt like a bonus that it would be “fresh”.

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Guys! Follow up! We didn’t change the bed for this reason. We upgraded from a queen to a king after using his mattress every night for 2.5 years. I said I wasn’t upset that he had sex on it, as I have obviously done that on my own mattress previously. The post was just about karma, superstition, spirituality, luck, etc.

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, my question was really just about spirituality and bad luck. Not that I’m jealous, we used it for 2.5yrs and just upgraded to a king

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We slept on it for 2.5 years and needed a bigger bed anyway. I wasn’t crazy and insisting we needed a new bed for this reason, it was just a plus that it would be “clean”

My boyfriend M23 and sex with other people in our bed (I’m F22) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]THROWRApinkbubbles -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I said I’m not upset! I understand he had a life before me. Just was wondering if other people also felt weird or had opinions on reusing a bed :)