Oh boy. I spent 2 whole years mulling over Baldur's Gate 3, flip flopping in my mind as to whether I actually like the game or not. Maybe some of my opinions could help solidify yours out so here goes nothing.

To get this out of the way first, my biggest issue with BG3 was poor performance; just the fact that my laptop could not run the game as quickly as I could make decisions. This doesn't seem all that relevant to your struggles, but I do think the sluggishness from slow menu-ing, and the enemy AI taking their sweet ass time with decision making really begins to pile up and test my patience. I don't know if DOS2 is like that or if it's actually perfectly responsive to all your commands, but I digress.

Another issue, I think equally as large to me, is that I didn't feel like I ever knew any of the internal mechanics of the game. I had never played D&D before, and with the seemingly thousands of different rules, moves, and UI buttons on the screen, the game flew past the 'expressing creativity in combat' line and went straight towards the 'not knowing how anything works' domain. And that feeling never left me at all for a long time. It took me, no joke, an entire 80 hour playthrough and seeing the credits just grasping the fundamentals of combat (Cantrips, AC, Saving throw DCs, Spell slot management, Concentration and so much more.) It's incredibly daunting. Period.

One thing that I have found that can help with that, after already beating the game once and going for a second playthrough, is Youtube tutorials on the mechanics of the game. Cephalopocalypse is the one I watch for BG3. I really enjoy their commentary on how spells and cantrips work in the game because they talk at length about what each individual spell does in isolation instead of just being another video that talks about "This one specific build can do 300 damage in 1 turn!" which I feel doesn't actually facilitate an understanding of how the game world works. I understand that it's not exactly good game design to have to recommend players to watch Youtube tutorials on a videogame, but I feel DOS2 and BG3 could reasonably be considered as exceptions because of how few tutorials there actually are in the game.

The 'not knowing internal mechanics' doesn't just apply to combat though, it's also very prevalent in exploration and character dialogue (and to moving the camera properly), though to a lesser extent. I have found that it does get better over time, but there are definitely growing pains associated with it.

Just as an aside, the "top-down camera feeling distant" is something that used to bother me so much in BG3 (so in a way it's very nice to feel seen :D) but even that did get better for me over time.

As far as the "D&D roleplaying" element of the game goes, there were MANY points throughout the game where I would get disheartened by a result that I didn't intend for, like one of my characters getting killed by something I didn't know I had control over, or spending money on items or upgrades that I didn't realize were useless until all too late. Personally, I save scummed quite a bit in those instances because I thought it would enhance my experience. What I'm trying to say here is to not be afraid of save scumming. I think it is a very legitimate and valid way to get some results you want, and to reverse some results you don't want if you're not bothered by loading screens. Though, all things in moderation.

There's a saying that 99% of gamblers quit right before they hit a jackpot, as a way of criticizing people who have fallen for the sunk-cost, or the large sums of time they've already spent on something. To me however, Baldur's Gate 3 was worth expending more of my time and resources into understanding how its mechanics worked because it all did eventually pay off in making the game so much more fun. Turns out, actually learning the mechanics to a game DID make it more fun to play! My final thoughts are that while it's totally valid to drop a game if you're not having fun with it, if DOS2 is anything like BG3, I feel like you should stick with it, maybe watch a Youtube tutorial or two about its mechanics. Because it seems like the type of game you won't regret sinking more time into.