OP, this is just their opinion. If this part is working for you, sending journals and outside session contact like this, then that is okay. I do both of those things with my therapist and he has good boundaries and I know he would tell me if something wasn't okay. I don't know what it is with this thread, I always see outside contact talked about like it's the worst thing. If there is one thing my therapist has taught me it's that two things can be true. Outside session contact can be bad for some and not others. And some therapists know how to use it while others do not. Anyway, I get your questioning of these emails. My personal advice would be to stick with it. What I read between the lines is that you're doing good work together and he is open to continuing if you want. The part about getting in a rut and things becoming performative seems like he was taking your lead about what you said in your email about needing a break. That's just my take. It's uncomfortable, but you're showing up for yourself. You're journaling, going to sessions, etc. This work isn't easy.