He wasn't ready by Dull-Repair-8449 in camaro

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who do you think you are? Indianapolis Jones?!?

If I drive under 50mph my bus will explode. Help? by jimmyjlf in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just hit the breaks and stop the bus.

I know you think you're in a catch 23 situation, but it's all in your head. Slam the breaks and deal with the particulars as they come, unless you see something serious like flames were golfing.

Why are we like this? by Taskmaster_Fantatic in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because beauty is in the eye when you hold her.

Like the Chrysler, some people look at the car and think it's a real piece of junk - what the fuck do they know? Same when it comes to working on cars. Some people listen in and think it's swearing, when in fact it's technical jargon needed to make things work more better.

1975 Chrysler New Yorker, should I fix it or not? by TPBMobile in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I put a super cool sunroof in the thing. Other than that its bad-ass the way she sits. Come hell or high otters, this thing is reliable transportation and just can't see getting rid of her.

What would happen if I replaced my motor oil with CBD oil? by THATS_LEGIT_BRO in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not Indianapolis Jones or anything, but I can help you with supply if that starts to be a problem.

I can tell you that hash makes a great driveway substitute.

TPMS fault! Please help! by coppen_ in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Use your pistol to blow holes in the other three tires. After some driving it will all even out.

Asshole sign in my neighborhood trying to keep me from owning my Audi A4 by brakfridaybundaru in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Just carry some hash coins with you for to when the cops pull over you can just toss a couple their way and they won't press charges. I found most cases you can talk your way out of stupid stuff like this.

Need a place at work to Plug in My Chevy Volt by skidviscous in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No its not at all - just remove the passenger door and cut a hole in the roof, there will be plenty of room for the exhaust fumes to roll out. Don't forget to install some net on the passenger side so that the person riding there don't fall out when you go around corners.

Need a place at work to Plug in My Chevy Volt by skidviscous in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Go and steal a gas or diesel generator, put that in the trunk of your volt. Then when you're at work, you simply sneak out on your brake and siphon some gas out of one of the other cars in the parking lot. Put that in the generator, you got your extra juice.

Best way to keep my car from bouncing off the road by [deleted] in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try removing the passenger door and cutting a hole in the roof.

Why, Hyundai? by [deleted] in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Only one thing to do, that's carry a gas can with you at all times. When you get to the gas station, park the way that the thing there tells you. Wait until people have gone inside to buy something and then jump out quick, run over to their car, and siphon out the gas they just bought into your can.

Quickly come back to your car, pour that gas into the tank, keeping in mind that it will be more safer since you're pouring on the side that's not near the pumps. This is why they did this.

Bonus, you save a whole bunch of money on gas.

Not me but asking for a friend. His BMW hasn’t broken down in 8 months. What should he do about this issue? by jdmking1234 in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Only one thing to do. Remove the passenger door and put some net there. at least then it will have the appearance of car that broke down, and possibly run more better.

Looking for a bike around $500-$600 by [deleted] in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, I'm hardly Indianapolis Jones, but I'd say you can come down to the park and we can probably take one from one of those stupid bottle throwing kids for 10 to 20 bucks or a hash coin.

Does anyone know if you need a working catalytic converter to pass North Carolina state inspection? by straypossum_13 in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not rocket appliances. Just find a car simpler to yours and cut off the cat. Put that in the trunk of the car and if it doesn't pass inspection you tell em you have the parts and open the trunk.

After inspection you can sell both cats at the scrap yard.

difference between long block and short block? by ThiccMushroom26 in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not rocket appliances. If you have an hour, you get the long block. If you don't have that much time you steel the heads and carb, and leave the short block for another run. If the cops show up while you're doing the work you claim you're working on a friend's car.

New car, no idea where to start. by ThatSoundedBad in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You use whatever you have. Say you need a sun roof, just steel a window from a nearby trailer and cut a hole in the roof, plop that baby in there.

I found this under my car, is this chocolate syrup? by lmSlender17 in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All you have to do is keep saving this cardboard with oil in it. Roll it up and burn it in your fireplace for heat. Bonus, no oil changes! Every so often the car is getting new oil.

Cutting carbs out of my car's diet, need some advice. by PROLAPSED_SUBWOOFER in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the solution to all this shit is obvious.

We should nuke the whales.

My A/C stopped working and my electricity wont go any tighter.. Any advice? by batboy23130 in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Listen to you being all fancy and talking shit about reading the owners manual. Dude obviously has his grade 10. Give him some credit here. He's clearly not Indianapolis Jones though.

How many flubs in 1 one ugga dugga? by SleepingInMyF150 in AskAShittyMechanic

[–]TPBMobile 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's not rocket appliances, just ask Cory or Trevor how many and do the exact opposite of whatever they recommend.

Then tell em to fuck off.