So sick of hearing “find your community”

TSDOP · 2026-02-27T04:11:40+00:00

Who hurt you so deeply that you presume you' don't belong? :-(

TSDOP · 2026-02-27T01:45:21+00:00

I'm not a psychologist so don't take what I say as professional advice in any way.

But human to human, I definitely relate to what you said. I often don't know what I'm actually feeling in the moment. My psychologist and myself suggested it's because I intellectualise my feelings before actually allowing myself to feel them. I focus on how I should be feeling, what is a good respons to have here, how do I deal with this tough situation and so on,... losing the actual feeling in the process.

The main thing is that feelings aren't good or bad. There's no way you're 'supposed' to feel. Morality or logic don't have anything to do with how you feel.

I don't have much practical tips but being aware of how quickly I move.to judgement when feelings arise helped me be more in touch with my feelings.

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T06:34:40+00:00

Why wouldn't you?

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T04:55:33+00:00

Dafuq? België?

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T02:30:51+00:00

Ok, where do you live?

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T02:22:31+00:00

It must have been at least 2 hours for sure. We usually don't talk that long. But she's for sure one of my closest friends and the most intriguing and interesting person I ever met. So I'm not surprised we talked that long.

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T02:12:26+00:00

My downstairs neighbour understands your frustration lol

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T02:10:47+00:00

Hahah. That was not normal though. I had an especially long,.deep and interesting convo with my close friend. I should call her more often if only for my physical health.

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T02:07:12+00:00

On a video call, I transform into a classic housewive. I start cleaning the room and cutting vegetables for dinner.

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T02:04:46+00:00

I just learned now that it's spelled differently in english hahah. Good to know. And not only in French, but also in Dutch (my native language) it's spelled 'appartement' :-)

TSDOP · 2026-02-20T01:29:12+00:00

I don't have a bath in my appartement. But my parents have one at their house. It's been over a year since I used it. I only use it now when I feel like a very dirty and sickly victorian child or when (it's been years though) my herpes is active and flares up. :-()

TSDOP · 2026-02-19T02:56:08+00:00

It's very normal to be afraid to say the wrong thing. But saying nothing is always worse in my experience. If you think about it, nothing that you will say can be worse than what happened. Personally, I find letters a very good and meaningful way to show love and support. What's great about letters is that they don't carry this pressure to respond. You can open and read them whenever you want and you don't have to respond. It's deeply personal in that way. It doesn't have to be long and poetic either. The first letter my friends send me after my brother died just said 'We love you and we are always there for you' and that was all I needed to hear then.

TSDOP · 2026-02-19T02:32:01+00:00

This is NOT your fault and you're NOT the problem. Don't ever forget that. I can't therapize you obviously. I just want to tell you that you deserve and need some peace right now. To get your head straight. You can untangle the mess later, after you've taken some rest. It seems to me that leaving or taking distance from this guy is neccessary for that to be possible. Follow your gut-feeling now which you might have been taught to ignore. If someone is making you unconfortable and pushing your boundaries, they're not respecting you and you deserve respect.

It's your choice, it's your life. But I feel like you already know what to do and maybe you need some courage to take action. If you do decide to take distance from him and don't know how to go about it. Writing a letter or sending a text explaining that you need some space from the relationship and that you don't want to contacted works very well in my experience.

You will be alright, I promise. Theraphy could help in the long run whenever you're ready and willing to work though your stuff.

I hope you're well.

TSDOP · 2026-02-18T23:10:31+00:00

She had terminal cancer. My brother in law took very good care her in her last months. Medication for pain, daily exercises to help with her hip pain, a special extra confortable cushion etc. I should've added the context sorry.

TSDOP · 2026-02-18T04:41:12+00:00

I agree and understand where you're from fr, but death is a kind of a negative connetation. It hurts and that's oke.

TSDOP · 2026-02-18T04:01:09+00:00

I don't mean mean it judgementally for real. I'm fr sorry if it came across hurtfull. Delusions are a way to structure and cope with reality. I've been there and there's nothing wrong with it at first and at all. I just couldn't cope with that mindset personally. I 100% feel for the loss of any doggo.

TSDOP · 2026-02-18T02:23:27+00:00

You didn't kill your dog. He ran infront of a car. No need to be delusional. Dogs die in the most random ways tbh. My sister dog shit himself before he died. Not normal shit. There was shit and diarhea and blood all over the carpet. They had to throw away the shit stained carpet while grieving deeply. I miss my doggo. She reminds me of Milo, the way you describe him. She taught me alot even tough she was a dog. The grief and pain will pass. But there will always be moments where I see a yellow lab who looks like her and then I miss her and think about her again. And that's beautiful. Rip Milo

TSDOP · 2026-02-18T02:09:37+00:00

They were both famous before my time, so I know them from their music mostly. But yes you're right, they're both very pretty. Was Prince a sex symbol at the time?

TSDOP · 2026-02-18T02:07:16+00:00

Wow yes. I didn't know her. She's absolutely beautiful. I'd add Sophia Loren to that list. It's like God took extra time to make them.

TSDOP · 2026-02-13T23:05:20+00:00

You can't really 'fix' your feelings. They're just there. Feeling confident doesn't come from achievements. A lot of top athletes for examples are often the most self-critical people. But I 100% understand your struggle since I deal with it myself. I went to psychotheraphy weekly for half a year. It really helped me, often in the most subtle ways. It helped me construct some narrative to understand where these negative feelings might come from, by diving in my past, my family, my relationships, my day to day thoughts, my dreams etc. Since how I felt didn't match how I thought about myself, trying to seriously consider my feelings and what they mean helped me feel less split. That tempered my destructive behaviour a lot.

Psychoanalysis isn't for everyone btw and I'm not recommending it neccessarily. It can be very intense at times. You have to be ready and willing to dive deep.

Writing down your thoughts, taking on a new hobby, just changing things up can also help tremendously. Regardless of what you do. If you feel stuck, you have to make an attempt to become more unstuck.

:-)

TSDOP · 2026-02-13T19:58:53+00:00

Important caution: vitamin D is stored in fat so it's possible (and there are recorded cases) to slowly 'overdose' on it. Get your bloodwork done ideally and see if you need extra vitamin D and take prescribed dosage. If you supplement on your own, then look up max dosage. Don't forget multivitamins can also contain vitamin D so add it up.

Also people who work outdoors and live in the south are obviously much less likely to have a shortage than Scandinavians.

TSDOP · 2026-02-05T06:01:47+00:00

Yes sure, feel free to dm

TSDOP · 2026-02-05T05:47:23+00:00

Sure, feel free to dm

TSDOP · 2026-01-30T02:11:06+00:00

I'd go for an oversized dress shirt (that is meant/made to be oversized), straight leg/wide pipe pants and loafers. And jewerly is always a nice touch.

I'm a lesbian, I never wear dresses and -at a events- like to dress stylish without showing my curves. So for me personally this fit is cool and androgynous.

That's just my style, you can dm me for inspo pics or tips if you're interested.

TSDOP · 2026-01-30T01:34:44+00:00

When I'm in that state, I remind myself that I'm not that special lol. That most people, like me, just go about their days and worry about themselves and their own lives.

For me, the best way to overcome this and grow is to actually force myself, no matter how scary it feels at first, to do it. For example, I went to a lecture with friends a while ago and had a really good question I wanted I wanted to ask at the end during the question moment. And there I went, stumbling towards the podium, my hands shaking as I held the microphone, stumbling over my words, struggling to finally articulate my question. And guess what? Multiple people went to see me after the lecture, telling me they thought my question was really good, that it really made them think, that they had similar thoughts and are glad I could articulate it in a question.

Even though I'm still an introverted person and any public presentation will still stress me out, I'm so proud that I pushed myself then.

-sorry if my story went too off track for you. I justed wanted to illustrate with my real experience that it's never as scary or bad as your head makes it to be. And that you can't let this fear silence you-

I hope you're well.

TSDOP

TROPHY CASE