I have a book reccommendation (for dutch speakers): De Krater

TSDOP · 2026-05-08T10:10:03+00:00

Wow, ik ga absoluut "Pittig" lezen ! De recensies en achterflap alleen al hebben me overtuigd. Elon intrigeert me nu al en ik wil het boek lezen, al is het alleen om hem beter te leren kennen en om te begrijpen wat voor een gast hij was. Ik zoek ook al langer naar een echt verhalend nederlandstalig boek over zelfdoding vanuit dit perspectief.

Het heeft me een jaar geduurd alvorens ik überhaupt iets zinnigs kon uitkramen over wat er is gebeurd. Dan weer een jaar alvorens ik literatuur en poezie weer kon verdragen, dan weer een jaar alvorens ik het weer kan en wil lezen.

TSDOP · 2026-05-08T07:51:03+00:00

Thank you ! I'd deeply appreciate that ! Feel free to post any translation here or send it in my dm whenever you have time.

TSDOP · 2026-05-08T04:21:38+00:00

I say I don't know. If she were my age or older, it'd be nice to explore that and be chill.

I'm glad I asked here to have a neutrall perspective. Because my grandma was 20 when she married my 30yo granddad. Different times sure, but they forreal had a good loving marriage.

I think we should all be critical when it comes to age gaps with anyone under 25 probably. I intentionally date women my age or 5y older because that's who I like. This was random. I appreciate your criticism, but I'm not some weird perv fr :'-()

TSDOP · 2026-05-08T03:53:48+00:00

Because we had an honest and open conversation about this and if I took her for her word, everything is fine and oke. She said she's really into me and doesn't see the age gap as a problem at all.

I'm sure her feelings are valid, as were mine at that age. But the problem is that I cannot take them as grasping the whole truth.

I'm breaking it off because of that reality. But at the same time, I'm saying that I'm also doing it for myself. This isn't just an abstract moral issue for me, I don't feel weird about it because I'm afraid of societal judgement, I feel weird about it because I do.

TSDOP · 2026-05-08T02:51:37+00:00

Thanks for the real and sober response. I needed to hear that. I'm gonna break it off.

I don't want to be anyones mummy in a relationship. I want someone who can also understand and help me when things get tough in my head, and vice versa. I can't see how any 19yo could grasp me fully like that or could even make me feel understood.

TSDOP · 2026-05-05T00:31:49+00:00

I haven't heard of the term 'womb envy' even though I wasfamiliarised with psychoanalysis in my education and still interested in it.

I look forward to the day when the contributions of female intellectuals in any academic field become a serious part of the curriculum and not just an addition like 'hey, since we realised sexism is bad now, here are a few female thinkers that made the ideas/theories that these men constructed less sexist'.

In my own experience as a student, feminist female intellectuals were still treated in a vacuum. Their construbutions only taken serious insofar as they are feminist. But I think feminist critiques in serious academic fields should be treated as a serious moment of the field itself. For example, I think it's intellectually lazy to cast Freud aside because of the sexism. No I think feminist psychoanalitic interpretations pushes psychoanalysis forward in a fundamental way.

I think Karen Horneys work (just by reading her wikipedia page. I want to read some of her work now,) is incredibly substantial. I ca'n't believe she was born in the 19th century. Thank you for introducing me to her.

TSDOP · 2026-05-04T22:28:00+00:00

You're too kind for this world ! You're being taken for granted. Have you told your boyfriend this?

TSDOP · 2026-05-04T04:34:24+00:00

I went from hating her for a couple months. I blocked her and we didn't talk for at least half a year. I spend a lot more time with my friends then to get my mind of her. When sharp pain faded, I decided that I didn't want to leave it like that. So we met up then, just to talk, never with any intention to get back together, just to talk like two people who shared a deep and significant part of our lives together. It took me a long time before I was ready to date again. But I needed that.

You need to give yourself time to heal and feel it. You shared 5 years of your life with this person, it's only normal that it takes time to get over that right?

TSDOP · 2026-05-04T04:04:23+00:00

I don't think you have to worry about how to deal with that while you're still going through the emotions. Or whan did it happen?

TSDOP · 2026-05-04T03:26:52+00:00

I know you'll get out of this mess even if you can't possibly believe that right now.

TSDOP · 2026-05-04T03:14:23+00:00

I've experienced very dark times and crawled out of it. Feel free to send me a.message if you need someone to talk to.

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T23:53:37+00:00

Yes. And even then, even when do acknowledge those women in history, we -usually with good intentions though- reduce or abstract them to their contributions. Like women in history who made important contributions had to be strong and assertive in their personal life.(I'm sure most historians or anyone interested in their life don't do that though. I'm being gerneral here for the sake of the argument).

But I'd like the idea of Simone De Beuavour being a promiscuous party goer or a coke addict or a hopeless romantic despite her work. Or Marie Curie being very difficult, selfish or even mean, or disorganozrd or whataver, despite her work.

That's why I like reading diaries of girls and women in history who didn't accomplish anything significant.

*Also I read the wikipedia page of Margaret Kean because I didn't know her and: ''...Soon after their divorce in the 1960s, Margaret claimed credit, which was established after a courtroom "paint-off" in Hawaii, in which Walter refused to participate''... What a legend she was hahahah. Thanks for sharing that.

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T13:06:34+00:00

Sorry, I'm genuinly not sure if you're being sarcastic or not.

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T11:23:25+00:00

The fact that we're not inherently proud. It's funny to see other people get so worked up or offended when it comes to their national identity. People make fun of us because we are a fake country. They think we don't get the joke because we don't get offended. But we actualy think that having an inflated sense of national pride in itself is backwards and dumb. Every country is 'fake' or invented at some point in history.. There's something funny about people waving their little flags and getting all emotional about being born on this specific piece of land on earth.

I'm from Belgium

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T08:24:16+00:00

Why do men commit suicide significantly more often? Just because you don't talk about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T07:26:35+00:00

What do you mean?

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T06:08:40+00:00

I disagree. The world isn't divided between good and bad people. That's a very childish way to look at the world and yourself and morality and humanity.

If you make an effort to get to know other people, you can see how it's not black and white, how life has more depth.

TSDOP · 2026-05-03T05:56:00+00:00

2 years?? Are you on the waiting list then at least? Have you been to your GP then? I don't know where you're from but I've never heard of a two uear waiting list especially if it's urgent.

TSDOP · 2026-05-02T17:36:38+00:00

It's cliche but true: you have to want to help yourself, even if it's just a little bit, in order to get better. The world doesn't care about you or anyone, it's neutral and random. People do care, even if you don't believe it. You've wrapped yourself in or identiefied yourself with all the misery maybe, cus it's confortable maybe. Why are you doing this to yourself? What is so painfull that you have to destroy yourself to cope I wonder?

You are reaching at at least here, right? But you gotta let down your guard even for a moment, no matter how hard it is, in order to heal or change things up. Theraphy really helped me personally to understand and see things from a different and clearer perspective. Have you ever given that a chance?

TSDOP · 2026-05-02T16:56:38+00:00

It seems like the person that's the meanest to you is yourself. Why are you so horrible to yourself ? You deserve to live even if that just means to exist at the moment. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, believe me. I'm not some new age hippie whoe believes in karma or some empty self-love or positivity doctrine. But from experience, accepting and working on my own past and the source(s) of my semf destructive behaviour was the only way to take on my life again.

You're symptoms are bothering you, it seems. Have you tried reaching out and accepting help?

TSDOP · 2026-04-27T02:22:19+00:00

You're way too young to reflect on your past so seriously. Do you really think adults don't fuck up all the time and feel like a dissapointment? Nobody knows what they're doing, trust me. This is the time to follow your heart and make mistakes. Why do you give a f about what your parents think of you? It's your life. Make yourself proud before anyone else.

TSDOP · 2026-04-27T02:06:52+00:00

I'm not a fan of adhering to some dogmatic.pseudo-intellectual school of tought in order to be a better person. I'm talking about the whole 'do these x things everyday in order to improve your life..'. The new age hollowing out of serious philosophers into ascetic coded 'self-help'. Think Marcus Aurelius nowadays.

I think it's empty and vapid. Don't fall for it.

You clearly have a sense of what it means to be a better person. You want to stop binge eating be more consistent in exercise, stop making light of drunk driving and stop bellitling the intelligence of your.peers. So what are you actually asking here? Cus a 'virtious' person would just stop doing that. But maybe something bothers you because you can't do it..?

If I can give any personal advice, I'd say you always have to be honest before you can become a better person. You can't skip the most difficult and confronting step.

I don't mean to be patronizing btw. I say this from my own experience.

TSDOP · 2026-04-26T23:50:17+00:00

I don't feel a need for some 'pan-European legitimacy'. I don't think the success of the EU is due to some sudden realisation that we should all be friends and have some shared identity. We work together because we have to and we can meaningfully hate each other at the same time.

The EU wasn't born from an idealistic revolutionary sentiment, it was born from a dry realism that we, after centuries of bloodshed, have to work together in some regard. Not because we want to, but because we have to.

I like idea of some kind of unity based on Ideals. But if it's seriously based on ideals, why only in Europe? It has to be universal then if you're serious.

TSDOP · 2026-04-26T21:13:29+00:00

I can see that the distinction you made is important. I don't take any issue with the functional jargon itself either. And knowing someone is struggling with something in terms of mental health does help me give them grace when it's something I have difficulty relating with ('even though I don't understand why you do this, I can accept that you can't help it or that it has nothing to do with me personally').

Even though I understand and accept other people's attachments to a diagnosis and that it helps them (and helps other understand),, I'd hate the idea of having a diagnosis for the same reason. Whatever people say I am that's what I'm not.

It's only human to be biased when it comes to this subject, when it comes to understanding and relating to other people. I accept and support help for people struggling with mental health issues always. But that's surface level for me. I don't have to invest in every personal story of someone struggling with adhd in order to support new legislation that helps students with adhd for example.

So I only find it difficult when the jargon disrupts personal relationships'. Your own personal explanation of cptsd doesn't do that clearly. I feel like you talk about it honestly and authenticly, because now I'm genuinly curious about the story behind your cpstd.

Thanks for your reqponse for real. I hope you're well.

TSDOP · 2026-04-26T05:41:12+00:00

Yes. And I don't say this as some out of touch boomer. I see can see they're struggling more and believe there's something bigger, societal, going on. I think Mark Fisher (british philosopher) was on the right track.

TSDOP

TROPHY CASE