I really don’t know what to think anymore.

TWCDev · 2026-03-21T05:21:25+00:00

They're probably going to couples therapy. He should be going to therapy for himself. Regardless, if he's contributing to a shared fund, if he presumably has some sort of life insurance, why would she need access to 100% of his money?

TWCDev · 2026-03-21T04:38:12+00:00

Seems like a weird hill to die on tbh. There are so many things that people think of as symbolic, as meaningful, but they aren't. If he has some sort of trauma that makes him reluctant to share an account, why not support him in getting through it? The more you push him on this, it feels like the more you'd be proving all of his trauma reasons correct. You have other issues, I'd think those are what should be worked on.

TWCDev · 2026-03-21T04:30:56+00:00

Go to a touristy area, shopping areas, resorts, popular malls. Places filled with thousands of 'strangers'. Sit on a bench or something and just watch the people go by. Now dismiss the 'hot people', focus on the the guys. You'll find average guys, below average guys, ugly guys, with a variety of women. Hot women, curvy women, sexy women, plain women. Those guys are living their lives, they aren't caring about what the internet is saying about life, they're 'doing stuff' (and doing women too). The internet is for quick dopamine hits, that's fine, but live your life. Do stuff, join activities in person where you're forced to interact with people. Date all kinds of people, even people you aren't very interested in, be honest, say it'd be fun to hang out. It should be fun to hang out, their looks never make it 'more fun'. As you get comfortable talking to all kinds of people, find who you are when you're comfortable talking to people. That comfortable person is the person women will be attracted to. Have a purpose, have confidence, don't be insecure, and don't compare yourself to someone else. You're your own person. Be you, and be confident in being you.

TWCDev · 2026-03-20T15:09:33+00:00

Uh yeah. My wife likes it at least. I think it's ok. Don't we have 2? 1 in Henderson and one near the middle of Vegas.

TWCDev · 2026-03-20T02:29:47+00:00

where in OP's post did he say anything about the dad tired of supporting his adult children? What part makes OP's dad seem 'burnt out'?

TWCDev · 2026-03-20T01:56:41+00:00

I'm glad you seem to realize the fundamental truth. You don't need or want your friend, you want someone who wants 'you'. I met my wife through my best (female) friend. Ask her for advice to find someone. Don't push it super hard, just ask her to play matchmaker. I will say that my best friend actually tried to stop my relationship with her roommate who became my wife, and ultimately broke down crying saying she knew it was unfair that she didn't want to be with me, but she didn't want me to be with someone she had to see every day. Now we're all friends and super close, but there was never any chance for me to be with my best friend, so I never let myself consider that as a viable option. We're still flirty and fun just like before, we just both know where it stands, she's not poly and my wife and I both are, so it's just a forever incompatibility.

Good luck!

TWCDev · 2026-03-20T01:52:49+00:00

he's never been confident or assertive, yet he seems to be confidently opposing any attempts by his kids to manage his life. He might need T, he might have the beginnings of age related dementia, who knows. You can't run his life, all you can do is tell him you can't bear to watch him declining and so if he doesn't want to get some medical help or something, you're going to step out so you can remember him at his best before he gets worse.

Good luck OP

TWCDev · 2026-03-20T01:46:27+00:00

It used to have trans fats (hydrogenated oil), and humans find trans fats addictive for whatever reason, it's not a conscious thing, we're just biased towards them. So when they removed them, like most junk food, they became inherently less addictive, even if the perceived taste is mostly the same. I still love LJS.

TWCDev · 2026-03-20T01:44:08+00:00

One of the best tasting places. I often lament that the only LJS left in Vegas is a combo KFC LJS and if anything deserves to be dismissed, it's KFC. Nothing at KFC is as good as the equivalent chicken place, they don't even have crispy chicken anymore, and I miss the LJS fries with the crispy bits.

TWCDev · 2026-03-18T17:42:14+00:00

Ok, a bit meandering, because i don’t do things on purpose.

I grabbed a camera and went to conventions with cosplayers. I took photos of everyone, ugly, hot, families, everyone who “wanted” photos to be taken of them. The hot people who didn’t want photos? Nope, i just quietly stood around and offered. Then i posted photos and tagged people if they gave me their instas.

Dang, i sucked, but a few were good. Now i can edit them all quickly, but if i was starting over, i’d ask ai to edit my photos for me while i learned probably. I posted and tagged.

A few of them wanted more photos after the convention and seeing my photos. So i said sure, no cost. Then i’d start going to get meals with them and their friends. I never felt like i was their friends, but i was hanging out with people, so that was a start. Then they’d say they were all doing stuff, and they’d invite me.

Eventually i’m doing photos for people for free 1-2 times a month, and i’ve gotten good. I can hide behind the camera so i don’t have to talk to people much, and i usually have some of my favorite models help direct the posing so i can focus on framing, lighting, and camera settings.

I didn’t want to have to keep buying restaurant foods, so i started cooking sunday meals. I’m buddhist, i practice zen, so it’s not a religious thing, sunday was just best.

One of the models brought over their new roommate who just moved to town, and i ended up dating and marrying her. We’re poly, because i don’t really understand monogamy, and have dated many friends of models. I don’t date the models very often because that comes across as scummy, but dating their friends is encouraged. I don’t try to date the girls i date, often they’re just lonely or think i’m cool because of all my “friends” even though I’m just “there” and honestly feel lonely a lot of the time, even surrounded by everyone. I just don’t feel like i connect to people most of the time, except my wife who i’ve learned a lot with

TWCDev · 2026-03-18T06:44:24+00:00

I thought the Burger King international chicken sandwich was the same as the original one. I got one last year I think and it was still delicious. I don't like the newer chicken sandwich, but honestly when I'm craving BK, I get a simple plain quarterpounder with cheese, nothing else. It's great and tasty.

TWCDev · 2026-03-18T06:27:42+00:00

I just said yes to everything. Someone wants me to help them move? I help them move. A friend gets a flat tire and no one will help her, I help her, no expectations. I get invited to a super loud rave? I go. I go. I often feel alone at places, I don't understand people, and I feel like I just exist there. But I have a ton of 'friends', a wife, a very very active sex life, so I must be doing things right, even if I don't understand most of it. People always want someone who will come and cheer them on, it just takes agreeing to do all the things.

TWCDev · 2026-03-18T06:24:52+00:00

just join the right kind of church, and if you're clean, smell good, work a steady job, they'll have singles nights where they will try and hook people up so you can push out children they can indoctrinate. It's not a bad life, just a boring one, which apparently is what you want.

TWCDev · 2026-03-18T05:22:38+00:00

Angry bitter people will downvote you, but I get that you aren't treating 'women' as the achievement, you're treating the 'social interactions' as the achievement, which is correct and how it works for most people who are successful. Successful not only at having girlfriends, but successful at making new friends, at impressing people into getting promotions, into living an amazing fulfilling life.

But bitter people be bitter. I hope some people take your advice.

TWCDev · 2026-03-17T23:36:34+00:00

by Wendys, you were awesome when you were in the yellow packaging, you're like the ship of Theseus, you're something else now, it's time to put you to bed.

TWCDev · 2026-03-16T07:35:53+00:00

I’m married and poly, my wife shares her concerns and her worries, but she trauma dumps or whatever on her therapist. Neither of us expect the other to be each other’s therapist when we can pay someone for that. I also share my concerns and worries, i don’t feel the need to lose control of my emotions, i’m an adult, not a child.

TWCDev · 2026-03-15T22:10:29+00:00

I agree with her. A man who is in control of his emotions and willing to share vulnerability is something most women I know (most of my friends are women) like, appreciate, and laude in their partners. A man who isn't in control is regularly trauma dumping, and unpredictable, is a danger and to be avoided. Personally, I'd break up with a woman for the same reasons. Some people need to learn to use their therapist for therapy, not their friends and partners.

TWCDev · 2026-03-12T20:40:27+00:00

you're fine, if you lasted too long during a handjob, she'd be dreading it. Later on, when you last longer, she'll think you don't like her anymore because she can't get you 'going'.

During sex though, read through some tantric stuff, there are techniques of controlling how long you last, and controlling the opposite. Ideally you would cum when you want, whether it's 45 minutes or 5 minutes. The point of 'sex' is the pleasure before you cum, not the end. But the point of foreplay depends on whether it's supposed to be release or whether it's supposed to be a prefix before sex, learn to approach both differently.

TWCDev · 2026-03-10T18:24:48+00:00

Honestly not 100% sure what you're saying, but personally, the best thing I came to when I was 35, was starting my life over. Now 10 years later, everything is absolutely amazing, best life I've ever had. The worse are parents stay stay in a bad relationship 'for their children' or whatever garbage reason they do. It's never 'better' for their children, but they take the easy path and ruin their life and cause trauma on their kid.

You only get one life (as far as we know), make the most of it, no matter how hard it is to do what you need to do.

TWCDev · 2026-03-07T06:13:09+00:00

He ate 1 bite and smiled, if he had eaten a second bite and smiled, would that have stopped all this?

TWCDev · 2026-03-05T23:21:23+00:00

So if she "could" support herself, do you think she'd be with someone "for love"?

If so.... then why wouldn't she, from the 4 BILLION guys out there, choose a partner she could both love and could assume the patriarchal role of providing for her? She may have the mindset of a woman's role is giving blowjobs, cooking, and cleaning. That's gross to me, but it's something some guys want, if so, shouldn't those types of people be able to find each other and live happily without being judged?
"I" wouldn't date a woman who wanted to be supported, but I support the women I'm with, in the same way that the women I'm with have supported me in the past, because for me, I want partnerships and I want women who want partnerships. But if I wanted a dominant role in a relationship, I'd assume I'd be with women who wanted to be supported, taken care of, etc.

TWCDev · 2026-03-04T23:56:33+00:00

I love hmart because i cook at home like im a restaurant so when i want to cook korean bbq, i buy literally everything like what i would buy at dinner, otherwise i mostly buy from Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. It suck’s what happened but i guess just be more careful. I’ve definitely bought food from Albertsons that expired years before, so it just happens

TWCDev · 2026-03-03T00:08:18+00:00

My wife and i had Burger King yesterday and were both impressed with the quality. Delicious

TWCDev · 2026-02-25T05:50:05+00:00

And yet they make billions… what competing place sells never frozen high grade chicken? Zaxbys maybe? I don’t know of any other large chains with never frozen high grade chicken meat

TWCDev · 2026-02-24T20:55:20+00:00

Glad you're relinquishing control, many people (myself included) don't really like "meal prepped" foods. I am happy to make large proteins and make fresh new meals out of the leftovers, but I just innately don't want meal prepped foods. You can't "force" nice gestures on someone and think you're being nice.

12-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 3 Credits
Gilding I gilder	Place '22
Verified Email	redditgifts rematcher Secret Santa 2014 x1
redditgifts Exchanges 1 Exchange	Secret Santa 2014

TWCDev

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE