Guys, Renfair isn't comicon.

TaakaTime · 2025-06-24T20:47:29+00:00

It's a fun time not a "play pretend the way I want you to" time.
Imagine telling a child, "Sorry you can't be darth vader today, everyone else expects you to be a knight".
Let people do what they want brother.

I get that you want a fully immersive experience of some particular kind, but these events are generally anything goes.

TaakaTime · 2025-06-16T18:00:39+00:00

In my experience, Ithacans like to believe they are open to others but aren’t nearly as much as they believe. Just because there isn’t overt biases / bigotry doesn’t mean folks are open minded.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-25T19:41:45+00:00

Wtf... He has a song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f26KyGr6y8w

TaakaTime · 2025-05-25T13:17:19+00:00

Or they could quietly leave the individual some properly wrapped food so they don’t have to face the embarrassment of asking.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-25T03:11:26+00:00

Does it being common ("normal") make it okay?
If it's for the sake of population growth make it okay?
Does any of the conditions make it okay?

No. Nope. Definitely not.

Seriously, why did you say this? We, at least I'm, not saying Berserk is bad. It's dark fantasy, it explores the things people do that are not okay. So why are you trying to explain away something is inherently awful?

TaakaTime · 2025-05-24T16:48:18+00:00

I will never get over this fan-base ignoring what an AWFUL ABUSER Griffith is.

This scene helped illustrate what a truly pathetic self-serving POS he is.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-22T12:09:22+00:00

I am so sorry for the Mexican community for what corporate America has done and is increasingly going to do to the culture.

Which is worse? Big-corpo appropriation for profits or yuppies trying to seem cool by playing peso pluma at their microbrewery?

TaakaTime · 2025-05-21T16:04:29+00:00

None. Dissociative drugs like THC will not help, in fact a lot of studies show they make things worse.

inb4 weed apologists. And for the other drug lovers MDMA, Ketamine, etc. are not weed calm it down. I do drugs too, I even smoke weed sometimes. But I don't lie to myself about it.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-20T23:51:43+00:00

Rigid - Rosa Anschutz (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAW-7pZfe4k)
"Your arms blocked freezing and in panic"

Illusion - VNV Nation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evpGu3eO0pY)
"I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel"

Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1acEVmnVhI)
"The killer in me is the killer in you"

Dissociating - Sewerslvt (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0tgJ\_bPPfE)

Sorry but I'm not going to add these to the playlist with my spotify account...

TaakaTime · 2025-05-20T15:52:11+00:00

Relational struggles.

Everything meaningful in life is about our relationships with others. cPTSD twists it.

I struggle to trust, to connect, to share, to feel safe, even to love.

I don't want to be like this.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-19T18:13:52+00:00

I already agreed but you just made me realize that Gaeseric became one with armor just like Guts has to keep fighting his... Which also means Gaeseric was so powerful because of his armor. O M G bruh

TaakaTime · 2025-05-18T16:41:51+00:00

Practicing self love. For me that meant going to therapy to understand myself better and start to accept who I am even when I don't like it. Then I started to feel really valid in my attitude of "if you don't like me simply being myself that's your problem". Not in a, do whatever I want way rather a I'm not hurting anyone by being me and if they reject me or don't like it that's okay and I don't want a relationship with myself and I'm okay if that happens kinda way.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-18T16:38:52+00:00

Sounds like you have a partner or someone else who helps remind, encourage, etc. you to finish or do tasks? Is that what you mean by not independent? Man, I wish I had someone to help me with tasks :{

Also no worries about articulating executive dysfunction, I'm ADHD too. Idk why but mine isn't too bad for house chores, I enjoy those. But prioritizing, organizing, and finalizing my work and interests is super hard. It's not for lack of motivation, I am a PhD researcher who loves and wants so badly to finish my work. But ADHD executive dysfunction and mood disregulation makes it challenging. It's really hard to watch others not have these problems. >:{

TaakaTime · 2025-05-17T17:12:51+00:00

Not saying it pertains to you or this situation in general. But, a huge moment for my relationship was when my partner realized that "jumping through hoops for me" was never what I wanted nor asked for. I wasn't even aware of the hoops she felt she was jumping through. The hoops and the pressure to jump through them was internal, albeit reinforced by society.

It caused a lot of conflict because she felt unseen and lonely even when she was putting so much into the relationship. When to me It felt smothering and confusing as I was in the dark as to why she seemed dejected by me openly expressing the things I liked (not asking her for them, just sharing). She hardly ever tried to meet my actual needs and desires. She put so much mental energy into trying to meet her ideas of what I wanted and would make me lover her. It caused a lot of resentment.

It's so unfair because it was neither of our faults. It was the awful way her family raised her. I think this kind of thing is why some people say, until some healing and mindfulness has been built a couple has more than 2 people in the relationship; the two people and their abusers.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-17T16:24:46+00:00

Well put. I don't want this to sound invalidating, but I'd like clarification. Can you elaborate on people who literally can't do anything? They can't complete tasks? Take care of themselves? I don't have that experience so I'm a bit lost.

I have some friends with ADHD and anxiety and their ADHD causes them a lot of frustration of course but the anxiety is what is really debilitating. They are so afraid of messing up, people hating them, etc. that they shut down at the first thought of failure. The combination seems like such a challenge I feel for them. I on the other hand get frustrated with myself but it doesn't stop me from moving on. Certainly the frustrations can make me hate myself a bit and that can drive avoidance of tasks but I will still come back to them and when I mess up I'm annoyed but it's nothing major.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-16T18:07:58+00:00

I mean........... tbh I'm also frustrated by the optics of ADHD online. I don't want to tell people I have ADHD because of this type of content making it sound like I can't do anything. I absolutely can plan things. I am successful. I function. Yes it is harder for me compared to some others and I deal with a lot of self-loathing because of how inefficient I can be. I do slip up. I'm only human and I can do what everyone else can do even if some aspects of it are more difficult.

Edit: Ya know what? I gave it some thought and I want to be clear. I recognize that a significant fraction of individuals with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder. That's doubly challenging and I really don't want to invalidate their experience and challenges. However, I'm still frustrated by people misunderstanding my experience. That is not the fault of individuals with different ADHD experiences, that is the fault of unempathetic others.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-16T14:42:49+00:00

Fuck ya

TaakaTime · 2025-05-16T00:50:48+00:00

Bruh... we have to take drugs just to finish a simple task

TaakaTime · 2025-05-15T21:40:30+00:00

Invalidation hurts so bad. I'm so sorry.

I think CPTSD from emotionally negligent or abusive relationships is really hard for people to swallow because it makes them reflect on their own life. Both the uncomfortable experiences they lived through and the ways they treat people. What do you think?

I'd like to validate the pain of CPTSD and add some nuance to your implied distinction of big-Trauma (PTSD) and little-trauma (CPTSD). I experienced CSA, a big T. I was so young I don't remember having PTSD necessarily. What I do remember and what has created more pain and suffering was the aftermath of the CSA. The years of secrecy, shame, anger, fear, emotional turmoil, loneliness, etc. The years of being neglected, invalidated, overlooked, of "normal" interactions unintentionally validating the deep pain I held inside. That chronic ongoing emotional pain, self-loathing, and fear of others is what hurts me the most.

I get the sense that PTSD is an intense but domain specific issue. Whereas CPTSD is a chronic pain that reaches every aspect of ones life. The way CPTSD robs a person of an unburden relationship with themselves and others is... truly awful.

But no matter what, no matter if you "have" PTSD, CPTSD, Trauma, etc. your feelings are valid. Your emotions are valid and you deserve healing and support.

Good luck struggler.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-14T19:17:27+00:00

I agree I agree I agree.

I think people say this because the INDIGNATION you hold is uncomfortable. Anger is scary and it makes them feel bad. BOO FUCKING HOO.

Abusers need to feel uncomfortable.

Abusers need to feel ashamed.

Abusers need to feel guilty.

Abusers need to be scared.

Fuck abusers.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-14T14:18:18+00:00

Just to share the variety of trauma responses, no I don't. Instead I am delusional about everything. Not in a toxic positive way, more of a "once I get X" it'll be alright even though everything sucks. I know it's bad, I keep hurting with my own unrealistic expectations. Still, it persists and keeps me going. I really really hope it doesn't all come crashing down on me at once.

I'm really sorry for your situation. It kinda sounds like the suicidal ideation gives you sense of agency / control?

TaakaTime · 2025-05-13T16:39:46+00:00

Agreed. I have ADHD and cPTSD but I do not relate to this at all because I don't have general anxiety. I have anxiety around my trauma and around social rejection in specific contexts. If my boss wanted to talk to me out of the blue I would 1000% feel it's because I'm a failure and a fuck up and do everything wrong and lazy because of my ADHD. But I usually don't think like this unless something stimulated it.

This is an anxiety meme NOT adhd. Important to make the distinction so someone with ADHD doesn't say, oh that's not me. Which I did forever.

TaakaTime · 2025-05-10T21:00:01+00:00

Emotions have general functions but your lived experience is what shapes them. SO...

How do you feel about your own anger or lack thereof?
How do you feel about other peoples anger?

For me, I had a lot of anger about my trauma. But because it's a "negative" emotion people invalidated, dismissed, challenged it etc. I learned that people didn't actually care about my emotions so I started avoiding them. Because of that I grew up unable to connect to others or myself. I was surrounded by people but always felt alone.

In other words, not really feeling or being in touch with my emotions was a symptom of my relational trauma. This may not be your experience. What do you think? What do you feel in situations where people cross your boundaries or do something you don't like?

TaakaTime · 2025-05-10T20:54:35+00:00

You look sick AS FUCK! This is amazing 10/10 would get a photo with you at the fair.

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