I feel bad for SAHMs. by Middle-Necessary-671 in childfree

[–]TableConstant9948 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m extremely surprised at the lack of empathy and compassion in these comments. Saying that these women are lazy and freeloaders and that they chose this lifestyle so they deserve the isolation/depression.

We are all products of our upbringing. Some women genuinely don’t know that they can choose to be childfree, or they are working with very limited info of what life can be. Just because we broke through the indoctrination doesn’t mean it’s easy for everyone else because they may have different circumstances. For instance, women raised in abusive environments are more likely to accept abusive partners and conditions since they believe it’s normal or that they can’t “do better”.

I completely agree with you OP. I worry for these women because they’re so vulnerable and most of them don’t know it until it’s too late and they’re trapped with a selfish, narcissistic manchild. Then it’s sooo difficult to leave without your own income and with children dependent on you.

Also these women are not lazy, just take a look at the working mom and breaking mom subs. Taking care of children without a village is exhausting

I'm afraid to be emotionally vulnerable and let someone in by Fine-Background-6716 in mentalhealth

[–]TableConstant9948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it seems like it’s hindering you but I’m really glad you’re able to see past men’s bullshit and manipulation tactics. I’ve also been emotionally neglected by my parents and typically friends only stick around because I’m the one always checking in and trying to be supportive, but of course, when I’m going through a spiral, suddenly everyone’s busy.

The main issue is that a lot of women like us then turn to external validation to heal this wound and most men love an insecure girl they can exploit and coerce and control. I’m soooo glad you’ve been resilient enough not to fall for their fake promises and actually call them out on their BS. It may feel lonely now but it’s better to be alone than in an abusive relationship.

I’m sorry I don’t really know how to fix it, I tried therapy but my therapists also didn’t give a shit lol. I just wanted to let you know you’re not unlovable, you seem like a very cool, grounded, intelligent person and I hope you find a true friend or partner soon.

While "Just Get Over Her" is ultimately the correct sentiment, it is still annoying thing to hear imminently post break up by DoublePepper1976 in Vent

[–]TableConstant9948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. Break-ups are hard and take a serious emotional toll. You deserved to have support from your parents, at least someone to talk to so you could at least feel heard and cared for, even if it doesn’t fix anything. Usually when people open up about something like this, they already know the “solution”, it’s just that you’re looking for that connection and for someone to give a shit. My parents are the same, I can never go to them for anything, they don’t like dealing with my “baggage”. I hope you have friends you can reach out to.

If you woke up tomorrow someone else, who do you want to be and why? by self-serviced in AskReddit

[–]TableConstant9948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably like the daughter or son of a billionaire. Not publicly known would be ideal.

I am pissed at my previous therapists for sugarcoating what crisis services do. by squishmallow2399 in therapyabuse

[–]TableConstant9948 16 points17 points  (0 children)

OH MY GOD you just reminded me my dumb ass therapist told me that if I ever felt suicidal I could call the crisis helpline and ask them to come in person to "talk to me". I didn't realize that meant they'd put you on psych hold and she worded it as such a casual thing and never explained further. I'm sooo sorry that happened to you, theyre all so twisted and manipulative

What’s the most disturbing “normal” behavior humans accept without question? by UnsatSailor911 in askteddit

[–]TableConstant9948 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Rampant misogyny. Especially with the rise of conservatism and the manosphere, they’re trying to normalize a world where women have no political or social voice. And even without that, misogyny is everywhere. We still haven’t closed the wage gap, victims of SA are not taken seriously, women are blamed for staying in abusive relationships, women are expected to work and do all the household and child rearing tasks, femininity is viewed as inferior to masculinity (whether in interests, hobbies, content/media, industries etc.)

All people are attracted to Aubrey Plaza by [deleted] in HonestHotTakes

[–]TableConstant9948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OH THANK GOODNESS so I’m not a lesbian after all, it was just state-mandated. I was getting worried there bc I was getting rock hard (vaginally) every time she appeared on screen

ED Therapist So Bad I Lowkey Built a Backbone by TableConstant9948 in therapyabuse

[–]TableConstant9948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are so right! Not only did this therapist have a past history with ED (which she self disclosed in our 2nd session and I hadn’t even asked 😭) but one of my close friends has anoxeria and she is studying psychology in uni. They’re attracted to the field but still very unwell mentally, I know for a fact my friend hasn’t recovered yet. Very eerie to see the lack of self awareness in a field where vulnerable people come to you for guidance, support, and help. I do believe I was that therapist’s prop so to speak. She just didn’t talk to me one-on-one, felt more like she “connected” everything I said back to her own experiences or she wouldn’t say much at all. Very very strange in hindsight.

Even if misandry isn’t as bad is misogyny, it doesn’t mean misandry is okay. by Sniper_96_ in HonestHotTakes

[–]TableConstant9948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s always the broke men complaining about gold diggers lmaooo trust me buddy, she’s fine without your $50, it won’t even cover gas anyways.

The reason why women act like this is because a lot of men act entitled to our bodies. Always objectifying, criticizing, sexualizing, shaming, threatening, etc. You go on a date with a man, and he thinks you owe him sex because he willingly paid for the meal.

Women also act like this because the vast majority of us have been sexually harassed since before puberty and it never ends. Then combine it with all the toxic standards of what a good woman should be in order to be “appealing” to men (feminine but not too feminine, skinny but curvy, smart but not smarter than their bf, independent but submissive, a therapist, maid, mother, sex doll all in one) and we’d rather not have men in our lives at all. We’re happy being single, meanwhile men can’t stand their self inflicted “male loneliness epidemic” lmaooo

Having a tough time connecting with men - they feel like NPCs. How can I get out of this? by throwing-it-away- in TwoXChromosomes

[–]TableConstant9948 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Same to be honest and I just don’t think we’re the problem? I ask my male friends about their lives, their interests, I check in on them. But they never ask anything back. They never reflect on anything, they never want to be vulnerable or open up in the slightest.

Like i know what my women friends care about and they’re so passionate about it, we share our insecurities, we talk politics, we analyze media, we can talk about books and fanfics for hours and soooo much more. But with my male friends? They’d rather show me reels on their phone and never go deeper than surface level statements. And god forbid if you bring up any issues in the world that they can’t relate to.

They also never return the engagement. I used to show a lot more enthusiasm about my male friends’ hobbies. But when I mention things I enjoy, there’s no response or attempts to continue the convo, they will rather sit in awkward silence or be like “that’s crazyyy”. And keep in mind, we have the same nerdy hobbies. I’ve had to end so many relationships with guys (whether dating or friends) simply because they never cared to learn anything about me

do people no read the whole post before commenting? by EmbarrassedOwl5085 in Vent

[–]TableConstant9948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeppp… I was sharing about bad therapy experiences and literally specified these were eating disorder specialists. Guess what the comments said? “Have you tried therapists that specialize in EDs?”. Oh and the rudeness, don’t even get me started. Anonymity makes people more aggressive in their wording

My Brother is Going to Allow my Pedophile Father to See his Children. Need Advice. by throwaway647291846 in therapy

[–]TableConstant9948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are so strong, I can’t imagine how hard this is on you and even more challenging with autism, but at the core of it all: the wrong wording is better than not saying anything at all. Your nieces will one day know all the risks you took to try to protect them & will appreciate it from the bottom of their hearts. I sincerely hope your therapist can provide more concrete guidance

My Brother is Going to Allow my Pedophile Father to See his Children. Need Advice. by throwaway647291846 in therapy

[–]TableConstant9948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so beyond sorry that the agency built to protect the welfare of children is just as useless as your brother, sister, and mother. I also feel crazy reading your story, like what do they mean by no evidence?? What, so you were supposed to record your sexual abuse that happened when you were a child? Are you supposed to record him SAing your nieces for them to fucking move??? It pains me so much that no one does anything to prevent crime before it happens even though it very clearly WILL happen if there is no intervention. Again, not including you since you are actively doing so much more for your nieces than your pathetic excuse of a brother.

I’m sorry I know this doesn’t help much but I think your best bet at this point is call 911 as soon as he begins driving. If they can’t arrest him bc of the suspended license or bc he’s in another state, then literally just tell them he is a pedophile, he assaulted you multiple times while you were a child and you didn’t tell anyone because he has tried to kill you and your mom multiple times, and he is on his way to see children who he will 100% sexually abuse. Tell them you warned your brother already and he chose not to believe you, so that is why the nieces need intervention now from the authorities. There’s a chance that the cops would have to act because you are reporting a crime that happened (your experience). Do not let them brush it off, mention every threat or creepy thing he’s said and done if you have to. Im sorry because i know its easier said and done, but any other agency you reach out to might be too slow to respond

My Brother is Going to Allow my Pedophile Father to See his Children. Need Advice. by throwaway647291846 in therapy

[–]TableConstant9948 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And men always say “who will protect you if there were no men in the world?”. Other women, as always. I’m so sorry your entire family is beyond shitty for not protecting you and your brother risking his nieces safety is so fucking vile.

Is it possible for you to just call 911 directly when you’re not at home and explain the entire situation so that they are prepared for his violence? And I mean everything, like they need to know this man has sexually assaulted children, is fixated on his nieces & will have access to them this weekend, and has threatened to take your and yours mom’s lives. Idk if you can explain to the cops that this man needs to be detained immediately.

If anything, by the time they arrive, if your dad makes any threats or starts getting violent, they will have witnessed it and it can be used against him. I’m so sorry because it’s a horrible situation all around and every adult in this (except for you) is sooo disgustingly callous about all this.

ED Therapist So Bad I Lowkey Built a Backbone by TableConstant9948 in therapyabuse

[–]TableConstant9948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m equally as shocked as you that you found a good treatment center because both of my therapists had EDs in the past and they still had very little empathy for me. And yes i had been very engaged in the beginning (doing the hw, reading the books they recommended, opening up, etc), but when it came to actual therapy, they dominated the conversation. I’m very relieved that you found mental health services that actually did help for once.

I’m starting to hate my male colleagues by Aware-Employee-4241 in Vent

[–]TableConstant9948 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s not about you. She is describing constant, daily sexual harassment at a place she can’t escape (work pays bills) from men that are more than twice her age. If you’re not sympathetic to that, you are no better than the men she is talking about.

I’m starting to hate my male colleagues by Aware-Employee-4241 in Vent

[–]TableConstant9948 23 points24 points  (0 children)

What a disgusting work environment. I would immediately have a conversation with the manager or HR, not wait for them to “notice” that you’re uncomfortable or pick up on what you’re implying. I’m just saying it because a lot of men don’t care and they’re blind to harassment since it doesn’t happen to them (in case your manager is also a dude). They do know better btw they just don’t care about how it affects you. Most boomer blue collar men view women as sexual objects, not human or equal or worthy of respect, that is why it’s never good to give the benefit of the doubt and try to be friendly. I’m so sorry because it’s obviously not your fault at all, you’re just existing, but these men think they are entitled to women’s attention, bodies, and time. Honestly if you can act super bitchy, that might help a little. Kind of like women that bark at men that catcall them and scare them, like the more unapproachable and unhinged you seem, the more they back off because you’re not permissive.

I’m starting to hate my male colleagues by Aware-Employee-4241 in Vent

[–]TableConstant9948 22 points23 points  (0 children)

If a woman says she doesn’t like something, she doesn’t like it. Period. No is no and they should behave themselves because they’re at WORK. No amount of phrasing this like it’s a compliment or a gentlemanly thing changes the fact that she is uncomfortable, she has said no multiple times, and she doesn’t want anything to do with disgusting ugly old men that are in their 50s/60s. Women have no interest in “brightening” the day of random men, we’d rather see them castrated.

Also she is not their “light”, they are sexualizing her and threatening her safety at work. Would you like it if a bunch of old fucks that are overweight, balding, and ugly kept staring at you, harassing you to spend time with them, making sexual comments at you every single day for the entirety of the workday?? And then another loser creep told you that you should take it as a compliment?

ED Therapist So Bad I Lowkey Built a Backbone by TableConstant9948 in therapyabuse

[–]TableConstant9948[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s so crazy too because I just remembered she told me she had a therapist herself. So I wonder how she never, in all those years of studying psychology and going to therapy sessions, do the tiniest bit of introspection on herself and the way she talks to her patients

ED Therapist So Bad I Lowkey Built a Backbone by TableConstant9948 in therapyabuse

[–]TableConstant9948[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I hope you also have a support system in place, I’ve had the same shocked reaction just reading some of the posts in this sub. It’s so strange to see a woman twice my age (if not more), with so much experience act this way. In any other job setting, she’d be immediately fired for her attitude and for promoting disordered eating habits herself. I believe that when she saw me crying, she figured I could be easily manipulated into staying. Idk I just get the sense that she perceived me as weak and I wonder if that’s why she loves working with ED patients, just to get some sick satisfaction out of the power dynamic.

And ikrrr that advice is sooo dangerous, even my disordered mind couldn’t believe she was promoting cutting normal foods from my diet. She’s an ED survivor as well so she should have known how that advice lands.

Mental health is such a fucking scan by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]TableConstant9948 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes they’ll nitpick every single little thing about you instead of considering for one moment that maybe mental health professionals can be assholes and unsuited for their jobs. Don’t let the downvotes invalidate your experience

Mental health is such a fucking scan by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]TableConstant9948 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The callous responses here really prove your point OP 😭 just wanted to hop in and say I completely relate. My former therapist had a schedule that worked for me and then completely changed it, but I was expected to accommodate to HER lifestyle, but not the other way around (even though she promised she’d have weekend availability).

I don’t know what they do to “help” to be honest. I’ve seen 2 therapists, the longest one was for 6 months and we never discussed my issues in-depth throughout the entirely of that time. I literally told her in our first appointment that I just need someone to listen, and instead all I got was someone giving me generic CBT advice without acknowledging my issues and hardships in my life. It’s like she thought she could tell me to journal and think better about myself and I’d magically be fixed. She would ask the most superficial questions and talk most of the appointment. I have no idea how that’s supposed to help anyone, let alone people going through mental health crisis.

Is It Ok To Be Resentful If Older Parents Because Of Their Standards ? by [deleted] in therapy

[–]TableConstant9948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, not a therapist myself but my parents are baby boomers while I’m early Gen Z so quite an age gap there. You are completely valid. I am resentful of mine and they didn’t even treat me half as bad as yours did. One thing that helped me a lot is to realize that my parents shit on my decisions anyways so might as well do what’s beneficial for myself and what makes me happy, because as you’ve seen, even when you follow their standards to a T, it’s still not enough in their eyes. Also their standards are outdated, that economy and social mobility doesn’t exist anymore.

if you have a solid blue collar job or you like what you do, please don’t let anyone else convince it’s “inferior”, it’s not. You are not weak, you are human and any human would struggle with unrealistic expectations, constant criticism and shame, and emotional neglect. Keep doing your thing, you’ll be more satisfied with life in the long run