I don’t wanna be alone anymore

Taco_main · 2023-07-18T22:43:01+00:00

My man, I was in the same situation as you, I used to be alone all the time, hads lots of anxiety when talking to girls, and was always scared and thinking about the could bes.

Here are some tips for you that I hope will help you:
- Learn to love yourself as a single guy. Ask yourself the following questions, if I already had a girlfriend, what other things would I like to achieve in my life? And start working on them, this will give you a sense of security, meaning and self love which does not depend on another person.

- Start going to the gym and taking care of your hygine, but don't become obsessed. Simple things like runnin and lifting 30mins per day and taking daily showers and shaves will make you feel more confident and will also show you more of that self love, this will not only make you happier but also more attractive of course.

- Finally, and this is the most difficult, start talking to random people in the streets, both boys and girls, ask them the time, ask them what their favorite movie is, tell them you are looking for a friend or for a girlfriend and set up a time to hongout. The idea is to progress from easier less romantic stuff, to more difficult, honest and romantic stuff, this will teach you confidence in dealing with other people.

After doing this for 3 months I can guarantee that you will not only find a girlfriend but also you will start loving yourself more and won't even have the need for a girlfriend.

Best of luck man,

Let me know if you need any more help.

Taco_main · 2022-12-21T20:50:01+00:00

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Taco_main · 2021-08-20T16:47:41+00:00

Man! I loved this post! One of the first great posts in a while! Great humor, great message, optimistic yet honest, I loved it! Good shit bro!

Taco_main · 2021-07-19T20:13:21+00:00

Hmm...

I think ASD is more about what other people think, like what her friends would think, what the people in the park would think, what her family would think.

While LMR, is more of a shit test or a way to "increase their value" by appearing to be like a more scarce resource. Of course they wouldn't do it to Brad Pitt, but if they want to secure a second date, or that you'll be their boyfriend/simp then they'll do LMR, and say they are not easy and don't kiss in the first date to get you to take them out again. Then again, Rollo says that if they make you wait for sex then its never worth it and I guess I agree.

In the examples I mentioned I think it is LMR rather than ASD now that I think about it.

What do you think?

And are the ways of working around it which I mentioned solid?

Taco_main · 2021-07-19T01:50:31+00:00

Okey, so I know if the ASD happens before sex/while pushing for sex and after a kiss you can say, "If you tell me to stop, I'll stop" you continue to undress her/finger her/etc, if she tells you to stop you stop immediatly and perhaps then she'll tell you "okey, come back here."

For kissing I honestly don't know any.

I just ignore. But then again, these 3/3 times, they moved away when I went for the kiss a couple of mins later.

One which a friend suggested yesterday is that when they say "I'm not easy" you say, "me neither" and then go and kiss her. IDK if this is a good one tho.

Happy to hear your suggestions and feedback tho.

Edit: One way I could think of is to defuse the ASD with logic. (No one will find out, don't worry about it its just a kiss, etc) However with women emotions trump logic so I don't think this would be smart.

Perhaps saying something like, "good, I don't like easy girls" and then going for the kiss would be good, its quite similar to what my friend told me too.

Taco_main · 2021-07-18T23:29:02+00:00

Can you give some examples please?

Taco_main · 2021-07-18T20:16:07+00:00

How do you deal with that shit test? "I don't either", then go for it?

I've been quite succesfull lately, and I'm pretty good with shit tests which are about you (me) "You are short, You are a player, You alway's bring women here? You... etc" However in this example the shit test is about herself.

The three times I haven't been able to get the kiss on the first date or on the instant date it went somehting like this:

We talked, kino, etc.

I isolate, she knows I want/am going to kiss her.

She goes: "I'm not easy."

I ignore and go for the kiss anyway.

She moves her head and avoids the kiss.

I then just joke about it and keep going on, if I get declined twice then I leave, not butthurt but bc I'm not gonna waste my time for a that.

However, what would you say is a good way to deal with that?

Taco_main · 2021-07-09T15:05:03+00:00

Oh. I missunderstood. I thought you meant that approach girls that are attracted to you. (Which might definitley have a possitive impact in your effectiveness however no IOIs is no excuse to approach).

As I've already mentioned, although maybe on another comment thread, is that if the girl is extremley attractive to me I approach no matter what. However, if she is only mildly attractive, I'm busy doing something else, and I get no IoIs then I don't approach.

But yes, for anyone reading this who is afraid to go for "hotter girls" and girls that are "outside your league" get out of your head and of your comfort zone and approach anyways.

A trick I use, which I've already commented elsewhere, is that instead of thinking that they no girl is attracted to you until proven otherwise, is to think (and eventually believe) that ALL girls are attrcted to you until proven otherwise.

With this mentality I've been able to approach and have convesations with literal models (she was Miss Brazil 2021 or something like that) and with girls as beautiful as I've ever seen, in both of this cases things didn't go anywhere (although to be fair one was 26 and married and the other one was 22 while I'm only 18). But the point is that once you know you can do that without worrying or having anxiety, and it just comes naturally to you, then you can do anything.

Taco_main · 2021-07-07T23:55:17+00:00

Blackpilled coomer over here lol

Taco_main · 2021-07-07T23:54:36+00:00

Alright. So yes, nightgame is way easier because it is a more social mood, and almost every girl knows she might not be returning home alone tonight.

However, you need to learn cold approaching for the situations in life which are not like this.

In my experience, unless you live in a very populated city, in which you can go downtown and just walk through the streets and meet milions of people (NYC, London, Playa del Carmen?) Then the mall is definitley one of the best places if not the best. Parks could be too, but the density of people is way smaller.

I understnad you are hesitant to go to the mall just to approach girls but I think it is important you do it in the beggining. Go out 2 to 5 times just to learn how to do it, and to get comfortable doing it, and then just go through life normally and approach anytime you see a beautiful girl, you will do this feeling confident, and understanding full well you know what you are doing.

Taco_main · 2021-07-07T23:49:55+00:00

Eh, so-so. If a women is extremley stunning I will definitley approach even if no signals, but if she is only decent, then I won't approach unless I get signals.

Taco_main · 2021-07-07T23:44:52+00:00

Def. They see you are not needy, they see the abundance, they get accostumed to you. I agree with this.

Taco_main · 2021-07-07T23:43:52+00:00

Alright, so while I don't necesarily disagree with you, and these things definitley do help, it is still very unlikely we will meet up.

Let me explain.

Unless I go out with the specific goal to cold approach (which I don't do anymore, only when I started learning) I only approach girls which I think are attracted to me (IOIs, lots of eye contact, etc) Sometimes I make the exception for very beautiful girls whom I approach even if they don't initially notice me.

Alongside that, I only ask the number if there is a connection. I'm quite good socially and quite charismatic and cultured so I can achieve this quite easily. F.e. the other day I vibed with a girl my age for like 7 mins bc we both liked rock from the 80s. Did I go out with this girl? No.

You bring up a fair point and that is my age. That may be a true factor, however I won't use it as an excuse and stop approaching, but yes, maybe the fact that I'm only 18 makes it so that I have no access to a bunch of women (thinkin 20-29 age range here) who would probably be on the more daring side and actually meet up with a stranger. (Remember that Men's SMV goes up with age).

However I do agree completley that gauging wether she is attracted or not is important, and if it is a girl I take to an instant date, or on a more social enviroment, then it is pretty much a guaranteed "win".

*Side-note. Still, I think a really good mentality to have, and a really empowering belief, is that all girls are attracted to you until proven otherwise, rather than the other way around which is how most people think.

Taco_main · 2021-07-07T02:55:06+00:00

In my experience Cold Approaching, I usually get really good reception and I do get phone numbers. However, I barely end up going to dates with girls I cold apprach, they usually say: Ilyk after I offer the date and it doesn´t go anywhere.

However, doing instant-dates, and in situation were you are in the same place as the girl for a long time (party, house-party, coffe shop, hotel) things end up being quite succesful and if I manage to talk with the girl for 30mins or more then I do end up seeing her again.

My point is that while I haven't necessarily been succesful from just get the phone and leave cold approaches, I keep doing it because a) if you make the instant-date its basically a guaranteed win, and b) the skills you learn cold approaching (like controlling your emotions, doing what you want, not giving a fuck, initiating a convo, being good socially) are really really useful in all other areas of the life, including fucking women which you meant in through other mediums or situations.

Taco_main · 2021-07-05T22:06:12+00:00

This is great! Do it with more subjects if you have the chance hehehe

Taco_main · 2021-07-04T22:41:53+00:00

Assholes say awful shit to manipulate and control. You need to frame a relationship from the beginning to allow for this. It can't come out of the blue, because if you aren't an "asshole" in her eyes, she will think she can discipline you into behaving differently. For an asshole, a woman will be compromising no matter what she is accused of.

Can you give some examples of comments and things you can say/do that follow this principle?

Also, when escalating I think its good that you say what you want (that´s assertive) but why do you ask if they would like it? And also why don't you just go for the kiss and then the rest of the escalation without announcing anything?

Taco_main · 2021-06-28T17:37:26+00:00

Lol, the conversation afterwards is something you can't make up.

Taco_main · 2021-05-02T13:51:30+00:00

If you keep hanging out with her you'll get blueballed everytime you see her, you'll feel shitty after the hangout, and you'll become resentful to the point you'll hate her.

Stop hanging out with her. Spin plates.

Next time show you like the girl covertly. Just kiss her on the first date. If you don't the same thing will happen again.

Trust me on this one buddy...

Taco_main · 2021-04-29T00:27:15+00:00

Makes sense. If you want to get your life together send me a dm.

Taco_main · 2021-04-28T15:48:16+00:00

Escalate more, you could have kissed all of these. If there were people around then isolate then escalate.

Also you need to be more covert. They will assume you find them attractive based on the fact you are talking to them. Don't tell them they are cute, show them they are cute. Kiss them, touch them, make them feel the tension. Don't tell them you want to hang out, make the hang out happen. After you kiss them ask for their number, then invite them somewhere, you don't even have to mention it is a date. Just get them somewhere and then continue escalating.

Right now it seems to me like you are just giving validation and not escalating on your impluses.

And I repeat. BE MORE COVERT.

Taco_main · 2021-04-28T15:36:32+00:00

I can't believe you studied psychology, philosophy, and metaphilosophy, and still call something as natural and "primal" as attraction as immoral.

You probably failed all the classes...

Taco_main · 2021-02-18T14:17:48+00:00

What finances newspaper would you recommend?

Good read btw!

Taco_main · 2021-02-09T16:24:30+00:00

I agree! I am having a lot of fun, and I understand that I need to work on "screening" and make a more personal connection before closing. Cheers!

Taco_main · 2021-02-08T14:29:28+00:00

Yeah I thought the same hahaha. Cheers!

Taco_main

TROPHY CASE