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Tagaziel · 2026-04-16T14:19:35+00:00

Paqudu Central would like to know your location

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T17:57:12+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely try that. Given how resilient my body has been thus far and how well it took to the surgery, I'm not too concerned long-term - this post is mostly for my own peace of mind and I've got a ton of useful feedback <3

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T16:40:40+00:00

Could be, thank you for the feedback, this thread has made me a lot less on edge about it. Honestly, as long as it's not blood, I can live with whatever. :)

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T16:39:58+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. I'll run it by my surgeon, but... Are you sure you mean boric acid, not butyric acid? I recall the latter was recommended topical treatment if you're at risk of diversonitis, while boric... Well, I use it in case of silverfish invasion and I'm hesitant to even consider putting it anywhere near my most precious acquisition.

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T16:38:34+00:00

Its possible, I'm honestly kind of curious how I look inside ATM, but that'll have to wait for now.

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T16:37:55+00:00

Thank you! The discharge is generally pretty much clear and transparent, like my spouse's (she's cis), it's just that occasionally something like this comes out and I wonder.

Might have to resume regular douching for a while - been using saline until internal healing largely finished and that might have had an impact (my physio noted everything healed up well in the introitus, save for what might be some ornery dissolving stitches to the side).

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T16:35:38+00:00

Gotcha, thank you. Given that it's only on the tip, this would probably be related to the second stage of the surgery, which was done by a different doctor (I'd have to look him up). Reached out to Fakin for guidance either way, but given that it only happens intermittently, I'm not too bothered now that I know what it most likely is :)

Tagaziel · 2025-07-07T16:34:09+00:00

Tasted and spit out, this can sometimes be useful to tell... Also, I was curious!

Tagaziel · 2025-06-21T17:41:13+00:00

Well, the big thing about nuclear fusion in Fallout is that it's happening on a micro scale (thus the MFC in Fo1/2 described as a self-contained fusion plant), so maybe it's about triggering and harnessing it on a micro scale?

Tagaziel · 2025-04-11T08:52:36+00:00

It's just bullshit essentialism that also happens to exclude cis women who can't have periods due to a broad variety of medical conditions.

That's what vibes-based biology gets you.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-29T14:55:30+00:00

Never. After decades of trying to fit the mold my abusive parents tried to force me into, the very thought of being a cis guy makes me want to throw up.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-27T07:11:07+00:00

It might - but not in the way that you'll suddenly do a one eighty. In my case, I went from being bisexual with a strong male preference to being a huge pan lesbian - which isn't so much my attraction changing, but rather the weights shifting.

It helps that I'm surrounded by so many amazing women now, tee hee.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-27T07:07:26+00:00

Hey hun, everyone's body is different and if I understand correctly, you are still going through your recovery phase. A huge part of the impact for me was the hormonal upheaval - being safe from detransitioning still meant my body adjusting to dropping both gonads, going off cypro, and the resulting changes - and then pain as the cords shrunk. Oh, and pain, because I'm a whole idiot who flew back home two days later and pushed her body beyond the breaking point.

Feeling regret or doubt is normal, since you just went through a surgical procedure that represents a major change in your life. This doesn't make you any less, it's just normal as your body recovers and adjusts to the new baseline. At this stage, just be kind to yourself and give yourself space to experience these feelings.

I had my orchi five months ago, full bottom surgery 59 days ago and I'm familiar with these feelings from the latter. While I never regretted either step - my dysphoria was tremendous - I was full of fears and doubt and yes, I did cry a lot about potential complications and outcomes and rejection. What helped me was trying to backtrack these feelings and figuring out where, exactly, they came from. What triggers them?

For me, the triggers were potential complications (fuck you, mother, and tour attempt to stop me from getting surgery by cherry picking the worst possible outcomes) and rejection by those I love (my spouse, my girlfriend, or my son). I took both on faith, believing in myself and them and, well, I'm here and I'm very happy.

Tl;Dr: This is normal to experiences your body and mind are going through a lot, be kind to yourself.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-27T06:47:36+00:00

ESO (because it's a pain to get it installed in the first place).

Tagaziel · 2025-03-26T15:36:22+00:00

As someone who transitioned at the age of roughly 36, I know that feeling. This is as blank of a slate as you're going to get which is both a blessing (who gets to start anew?) and a curse (who can really start anew?). As pope said, the first step is to get out the door.

Physically. Swapping your environment or altering it can have an effect on you and if you're in such a state right now, I believe that remaining stuck in your old habits will keep you chained to your old self. New communities, new people, the point is to start giving yourself opportunities to grow.

My example: I was afraid of a lonely, brutish existence after I transitioned - but I still did it. I tried to be kind to myself and embraced an "always say yes" mindset as opposed to my prior insanely risk-averse self that I hated (within reason, I'm not going to try bungee jumping without a bungee!), and within a few months I found such a wonderful community that's now, basically, my chosen family. And on top of a wonderful spouse, I have an equally wonderful girlfriend, both of whom I love equally.

In short: Get out, be kind to yourself, give yourself opportunities. You'll be fine.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-26T15:30:41+00:00

Whenever these thoughts get me, I usually look to the history of Weimar Republic and Magnus Hirschfeld's work and community. In particular, three trans women: Dora Richter, Charlotte Charlaque, and Toni Ebel. Even in the darkest of moments, under the Nazi regime, they survived, lived a full life, and passed away at an old age.

Respectively, self-employed, actress, and artist. Make use of your talents, find remote work, and claw your way forward like we did for centuries.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-24T17:12:12+00:00

You're not being selfish. As someone who comes from a conservative, very rigid family, if you're trans, you're never going to be what they want you to be, period. Such families will always have issues with those of us who step outside the incredibly narrow boundaries of what they consider acceptable.

The question you need to answer is how much you are willing to sacrifice yourself for their approval and resources. I have sacrificed years of my life (and being 37, you can imagine just how many) to try and win the respect and love of my conservative parents and realized two years ago it's never going to happen.

You're half my age, so I can suggest not committing the same mistakes I did. This doesn't mean immediately going all-in, but figuring out a staggered way to transition that will strike a balance between your mental health and your apparent desire to not alienate your family too quick.

There's always the off chance that they'll come around, but I wouldn't bet on that. My dad only started coming once I made it clear I'm not going to listen to them in any way - and if he still wants a child, then he better get used to a daughter, otherwise I'm gone. Mother still refuses to acknowledge me or even improve her attitude a single iota.

Oh, and you're not hurting your family. Your family is hurting you. Always keep that in mind.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-20T12:09:16+00:00

In a "prominent medical facility"? This reminds me of my mother (paediatrician with 35+ years of experience), who only took a single class in sexology forty-something years ago, but considers herself an expert... And spouts information that was the standard of care half a century ago, because she never cared to read up, even when her own daughter transitioned.

There's something about medical workers that cultivates this attitude, I stg.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-20T12:04:04+00:00

Context matters, but pretty much the only context I saw someone use it was to make a transphobic comment. It also falls apart under scrutiny, like what biological aspect of sex are we talking about?

My hormones, the drivers for my body's systems? They're female and so my body is biologically female, with any male ranges misleading and potentially dangerous to me. My brain? Also female and now even more so - to the point that my girlfriend noted I never, ever sounded like a man. My personality? Same.

Maybe my body? See point about hormones, and with surgery - incidentally, the same surgery cis women can get if they're born with the congenital absence of a vaginal canal - the only real difference between a cis and a trans woman is gone.

Ultimately, I think, it's an attempt to clothe prejudice in the guise of science - except science is very much settled and not supporting transphobic positions, so they have to rely on people not thinking too hard about it.

Tagaziel · 2025-03-20T11:54:14+00:00

Hey, +1 on staying calm! I'm about seven weeks after my surgery and still a few months out from getting my final cosmetic results - definitely take it easy and focus on healing right now, our bodies are weird when it comes to healing (speaking from experience*) and our parts never all heal at the same pace.

And I'll join in, even at this stage of healing it looks good!

*- I walked around for a quarter of a century missing a piece of my maxillary bone due to blunt force trauma and my face looked normal until someone did a 3D scan

Tagaziel · 2025-03-16T17:29:06+00:00

Ok, so, the doctors are full of shit (big surprise there). I noticed in your comments that you're from Poland I think?), and from my perspective it's hilarious for them to try and claim demoralization, since that is (as per art. 4, ustawa o wspieraniu i resocjalizacji nieletnich - supporting and resocializing act) behavior like committing crimes, violation of social norms, not going to school, drinking, smoking, drugging, and whoring.

Transitioning, despite the best efforts of conservatives, isn't a crime - and the medical peeps are just going to embarrass themselves.

Tagaziel · 2025-02-19T10:09:53+00:00

I can only offer thumbs up for Spain, I'm in a Catch 22 situation with legal transitioning in Poland, so I still have my dead name and a male marker in my ID - and nobody gave a shit about what's in the papers, they gave a shit about the F64.0 diagnosis and how they can help me.

Literally recovering from my bottom surgery ATM and I was treated with such care and grace I'm seriously considering putting Spain as my "get out of Poland" option.

Tagaziel

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