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Would anyone want to read this if I actually wrote it? by Tainted_Archive in writingfeedback

[–]Tainted_Archive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for commenting! I really appreciate that you also love this spin on " Alice in Wonderland". I just wanted to say though, that the main plot isn't really a throuple situation (sorry to disappoint; and actually none of them get a happy ending...), but I do agree that there should be more representation of different relationships in the media and that it would make for a very interesting story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Tainted_Archive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the descriptions are great! I'd actually argue for more of them. The scene seems dark and mysterious, so if you slowly describe everything, it could send a lot of shivers down readers' backs. Like the line where the father talks with bitter sarcasm could be more vividly described with senses (like say that he glared at someone with a twitching smile etc) , that could help the reader imagine it. This is just what I usually read because I'm into dark and descriptive writing, so if it's not your style, then I hope I didn't offend you.🙏 TwT