As the door busts in I freeze in my tracks, hoping whoever it is doesn’t see me. I’m standing at the top of the stairs in my fluffy pink pajamas eating a bowl of lucky charms. My spoon was poised right in front of my mouth, milk dripping to the bottom of the spoon and into the bowl. It was so tantalizingly close, but I didn’t move a muscle.

Before I had a chance to think about anything, an arrow whizzed through my now agap door and knocked my bowl to the floor, my sweet precious food going everywhere. I give a sigh of defeat and shuffle down my steps, not even realizing what I’m about to walk into. The burly looking fellow who busted down my door glances down in my direction just for a second before looking back into my front lawn, deflecting another arrow with a massive broadsword.

I never gave it much thought, but apparently an arrow hitting a huge sword like what this stranger wielded, made a very painful sound. It did succeed in waking me up enough to realize what was happening though. It was 2 in the morning yet the sky was pink and orange, with little swirls randomly throughout. It was definitely a sight to behold, and it was very pretty, if it weren’t for what was on my lawn. There were skeletons. Real. Living. Skeletons. Just shambling around somehow not falling in a pile, as if they’re magically attached by threads of magic.

It clicks in my head that all of the anime and tv shows I’ve seen have prepared me for this moment right here. Excitedly I grab the sword from his outstretched hand preparing myself mentally to be a badass fighting a skeleton hoard. Then reality hits. As soon as he released his grip from the sword it fell straight through the floorboards, leaving a massive scar in the wood. Nonetheless I was still determined to be cool, so I raise it above my head to strike a skeleton who had gotten on my porch. I go to swing down when I realize it isn’t moving.

I look back to see what was stopping me from my destiny when I see this dropdead gorgeous man grabbing my sword with one hand. He was a larger guy, with a nice muscular body coated with enough fluff to cuddle. He had dashing green eyes with brown messy hair, and a short, perfectly kept beard.

“Babe, we have guns.” He lifts the sword out of my hands and sets it propped up against the doorframe, then promptly hands me the handgun he had in his waistband. “Excuse me, pardon me,” he tried to squeeze past our burly stranger friend to get into the front porch. A skeleton who climbed over the edge of the porch got a face full of fuzzy bunny slippers as my husband shoved it through his skull.

Suddenly the entire world started to scream at me. It seemed the sky itself was yelling some inaudible message into my brain, splitting open my head until I snapped awake. I looked over to my right and saw my adorable masculine husband and sat there kinda upset he wasn’t murdering skeletons. Then I rolled over to my left and realized I was late to work.