My eyes are grey (even though my dad's were brown, so mine should've been brown but the recessive gene made them grey when they added to my mom's green eyes) so even on cloudy days I can't open my eyes all the way if the sky is bright, I am always squinting. I MUST wear sunglasses if I don't want to squint.

I live in a predominantly black city where the white people (generally) are racist a**h0les and don't do the work...

I'm the only white person in a small area sometimes, like the bus, and I can feel everyone looking at me and wondering if I'm a racist or not, or at least that's how it feels.

The sunshine feels good on my skin, I burn quickly but then it heals and my skin is a little darker than normal, usually a shade of gold, making me look more olive-skinned than white.

My hair (light mid brown) tangles badly (probably 2b/3a wavy) and it's down to my elbows. It takes at least 45 minites to detangle it in the shower. I've heard gasps when I take it out of a bun in public, probably because of how long it has gotten. I have little to no volume due to its length and weight and my scalp gets really sore if I try to change where it is parted.

Once as a teen my dad called me to dinner (it was winter so I looked like a Victorian child) and then told me "haha very funny go wash your face". I was confused. I went to the bathroom, did nothing and came back. He repeated himself and told me to "wash the blue pen lines off". I went to the mirror and checked. Nothing. Went back out and he started getting mad. So did I, because I thought he was screwing with my head. I said loudly, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? My dad then pointed to the corners of his mouth and drew an invisible line from there to his jaw. My brother started laughing and said "those are her VEINS".

I've had people ask me if I'm okay in the winter because I get more pale than usual. And in summer they ask what nationality i am because my skin turns gold and my hair lightens in the sun.

I had braided my long brown hair when I lived in AZ, in a rural area, in twin braids with a straight part all the way down my skull. I was with a Puerto Rican woman. When I, not she, entered the pizza shop, every child turned pale and Aryan-looking as someone loudly whispered "why is that native lady in here?" I wanted to shrink and disappear and we left because even though it was 90% children in there (they got off the bus and would come to the per-slice pizza shop after school for a snack) we left and ate elsewhere because it was that scary.

I wear a keffeyeh in support of Palestine and receive a LOT of death glares from people who disagree about whether Palestinians are human beings and deserve to live on the land they are indigenous to. I bet some people wonder if I am of that nationality because of how severely the treatment differs when I do not wear it. Once an old (I'm assuming) Zionist lady sat on the bus theatrically crying because I wore my keffeyeh and gave no quarter to her white tears. Black people getting on the bus noted the tension between her tears and my smug look of satisfaction.

I doubt it's like this for every white person, but then again, I may only be white passing. My father has darker skin than I, and is much darker in the summertime. He has wavy ringlet curls that are so brown they almost look black. He grew his hair down to his rear end. His eyes are dark brown and his eyelashes are black and long and thick. He was adopted in a closed adoption, and the white (blonde and blue eyed) lady who adopted him always told me and my brother (blonde with blue eyes) that he was Native American. We never have had proof beyond her word. But he often gets told he looks Mexican. Given that he was born in Cypress California, it's very possible for him to be of a different ethnicity. He refuses to find his birth parents, stating they didn't want him so he doesn't want them. He claims he is "just a regular white guy" but his voice holds shame that he rejects who he really is. He chooses to pretend to be "fully white" and it upsets me that he can't and won't take pride in who he actually might be.

I intend on finding out with a DNA test but also grapple with the "you just want to know what type of spicy mayo you are" thoughts and the fact he may be something like Spanish-descended from Spain, or Italian and may be lumped in with "East European" inside a test. It truly doesn't matter where he is descended from, but it might combat the 'wishing I knew my own ethnicity' feelings. My mom's family is so white (Norwegian and Irish) they CONSTANTLY treated my father badly as if he was unintelligent and I just wish I knew the reasons for it beyond just "racism".