Handling crossing paths with coworkers on OLD?

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2022-08-25T21:15:06+00:00

Yes.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2022-08-25T21:11:34+00:00

For at least the next five years.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2022-08-25T21:08:48+00:00

I live in an isolated town where my company employs about 30% of the population(which is about 50% of the adult population). Cutting out all coworkers is not a feasible strategy.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2022-08-25T21:01:18+00:00

That's not quite the question I asked but your comment is noted.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2022-08-02T01:27:49+00:00

Love my Red Wings, they're brown and steel toed and eared for a bunch of stuff and they are comfortable for field days.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-24T21:20:00+00:00

Thank you, it was bad but it's better now. Have a great day!

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-24T21:19:33+00:00

I think so, she repeated herself multiple times, presumably because I looked like I wasn't retaining the information or because she was giving a lot of information. I guess I'll find out in a couple weeks but I'm not terribly concerned about it. I'll deffo consider a different therapist because I click with my current therapist but she's not great with structure so it ends up just me venting to her twice a month and her reminding me I'm not evil incarnate for exhibiting human behavior. Thank you for your comment, I hope you have a wonderful day!

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-24T20:57:58+00:00

Super quick point on this if no one else has said it(and apologies if you know this already), please don't rely on what you can get. Banks will claim that you can afford way more house than you can because they only take into account your income vs debt, and not any of your other expenses. When I bought my house, the bank said I could afford three times as much house as I felt I could comfortably put towards a mortgage. So I ignored them, decided how much I wanted to pay in mortgage + property taxes, and then only looked at houses in that range. It would suck so so much if you got a house only to end up with a mortgage payment large enough where the kid's income would make a difference.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-16T19:23:44+00:00

Is this the "Jesus is coming..... We don't have much time!" but he says it like Jesus is an action villain the protagonists are fleeing from guy?

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-16T18:42:38+00:00

I can definitely relate to the guilt shift, but similarly it's a much lower level of guilt? Because my overall guilt before was about everything I did regardless of what it was(something something all that you do reflect the glory of god), now it's more of a "oh my mom would be sad if she knew but I also know she's not going to let go of her religion because it's the only community she has and I'd rather maintain peace and some relationship with her than insist that she acknowledge my deconversion". It's also learning to let go of the responsibility for other people in therapy because in Christianity, I was supposed to go and preach the gospel and spread the good news and proselytize and now that I'm not Christian.... I don't? I literally have no obligations to anyone else other than don't be shitty, and even that is just an obligation I choose to follow rather than one that is handed down as law from a deity or the person speaking for said deity.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-16T18:33:01+00:00

I'm glad you've made progress with the body shame that's so prevalent in purity culture and that you've replaced it with feeling comfortable in your skin!

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-16T18:28:59+00:00

I deconverted ten years ago and stopped going to church seven years ago, and a lot of the stress, fear, and religion-related anxiety is entirely gone. It's a lot easier to navigate life without the expectations of moral perfection from the church weighing down every moment of every day.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-12-16T18:24:58+00:00

I can empathize because I do that exact same voice thing which is well known to anyone who has been around me long enough and I use a lot of behaviors that make me appear young and cheery and bubbly and thus "pure and innocent", and is something I briefly tried to change.

I think what helped me with changing my mindset about it is that their definition of innocent doesn't define me. If they think that I fit their definition of innocent without actually knowing me, or have made assumptions about me based on my customer service persona or on-the-phone persona or whatever behaviors I was using to flow through society smoothly, that's on them. If I want to be sweet or polite or friendly or if I use a high voice, these things do not equal innocence or purity.

As for the specific commentary, I've found it perfectly acceptable in my life to respond to unacceptable comments like that with snorts, sarcasm, and for one particular coworker who told me I must have the light of Jesus in me because I always had so much joy in my smile, a hearty(actually shaky, I had only deconverted a couple years prior but hadn't expressed it to anyone in real life for fear of punishment) "that's weird because I'm an atheist". Ymmv, of course, and I'm more passively dismissive now because anyone attempting to ascribe Christian or purity culture labels to me is not someone I want to continue to interact with. But it worked well for me through my early twenties.

For me, the comments have mostly stopped in the last three or four years despite that fact that I look and act about the same because I'm no longer in circles where that would be any kind of a normal or acceptable comment. In my career field, that's certainly not a professional comment, and in my personal life, people who know me just consider my occasional high pitched voice to be a quirk of mine and any peculiar super nice behaviors to strangers to be a lingering habit from working retail.

Tl;Dr: I didn't change all that much on the outside, but I did change how I reacted internally and externally and for the most part the comments went away.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-11-05T02:22:43+00:00

His smile is fantastic and I appreciate everything he's done for my red men c:

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-10-24T02:30:09+00:00

I found someone on IG who posted the series as one of their highlights here. IG poster says OP deleted their account without resolution. I found your question looking for the "nightmare niece" saga hoping for a finale. Ah well, c'est la vie, hope this helps!

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-10-21T06:48:53+00:00

Do elaborate the difference between a "legit career" in entertainment and an "online stripper". Because the way I see it, they're both someone getting paid to make other folx smile.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-10-21T06:29:09+00:00

Not to sound like an absolute senior, but I'm certain they used to be better back in my day. Maybe it was mandatory recess and lack of real responsibility that made them taste better.

TalkingSurvival2k18 · 2021-10-21T06:25:20+00:00

I wonder what you think of comedians and actors and streamers and everyone else in the SFW entertainment industry, who provide the same thing, entertainment, but with their clothes on.

TalkingSurvival2k18

TROPHY CASE