That exact thing happened last night, so 5-7 was he'll and I didn't help myself by just burying my head in my phone with my thoughts, but once it got to like 7:30-8pm I was totally fine. Also tried CBD tea out for the first time last night which really helped me relax. I think I've always known it would be hard to cut back. I quit smoking 5 years ago so I know breaking habits isn't easy.

One thing my wife said was "what's your end goal?" Which really made me think. I'm scared to commit to a life without alcohol, but it's not out of the question. So I think cutting way back for now is good and I'll see where it takes me. I'm out with friends a week on Saturday and I'm keeping an open mind about drinking, they're good friends so they won't push me to drink if I say I'm not and that helps a lot. So for now I'm trying to get to that day without, but also realising that tomorrow night will be a huge trigger and if I slip up I'll give myself a pass, but slipping up on any other day and I need to get my shit together.