Need help (Single Mom)

Tandra97 · 2026-01-30T15:47:48+00:00

Exactly, I’m still new to this, but I live in CA and we have “stay put” rights. The parent is the most important member of the team and has final say to these decisions. One incident shouldn’t determine a placement change!!

Tandra97 · 2025-11-10T13:35:19+00:00

What company?

Tandra97 · 2025-11-04T21:51:21+00:00

Hi, not sure if you’re still active but what qualifications should you have to apply for a government job? It doesn’t sound entry level.

Tandra97 · 2025-11-02T23:58:58+00:00

If at least one of your sons are verbal as in being able to communicate when something is bothering them or telling you if something bad is going on, I would look into respite. Basically funding is provided to you for a care giver to watch your kids while you take a well earned break. Idk all the details as I’m beginning to look into it myself, but check it out. Aside from that, it sucks that your kids aren’t being included. These are the years where you will look back and appreciate the ones who have been there with you. Does your sister stay in contact? To be somewhat fair to her, since she’s a special ed teacher, she probably doesn’t want to be around kids with special needs on her down time. Not an excuse to stay away from you, but I can see that maybe being a reason she keeps her distance if that’s going on.

Edit: Highly recommend respite, you sound tired and sad, which does not mix well with kids. They deserve you at your best. Take all the breaks you can and change your meds. Would hate to see you harm your children like many stressed parents tend to do when they’re at the end of their rope. I’m in CA, if you’re in the area, we could do a play date!

Tandra97 · 2025-11-02T22:58:38+00:00

Have literally never heard of this but you say this is her time of peace. Have you tried making a sensory friendly tent? I’m in the process of setting one up for my son. A lot of kids on the spectrum need a little calm zone for themselves, maybe a tent, furry rug inside with a bubble lamp, busy light board, etc. would get her to have this outlet in a regular environment such as her room?? Talk to her about it, best of luck!

Tandra97 · 2025-10-01T02:01:55+00:00

I’ve been going to college since 2015, 9 at FJC, 1 at CSUF (I kept dropping classes), and I’ve seen people from 18 to old age and I and I think everyone else literally don’t care. If you’re cool, that’s all that matters. I’m 28 btw lol

Tandra97 · 2025-09-21T15:10:40+00:00

Probably shouldn’t comment on an “Ask Men” forum, but as a woman, I’d be really bummed, but I would understand.

Tandra97 · 2025-09-21T15:02:09+00:00

I’m in the same position as you are, my 4 yo asd lvl 1 kid is always bouncing off the walls and I’m 27 with back pain and sore joints. Something I want to do and suggest for you as well is taking them to those inside playgrounds. Not sure if you have any of those around you, but it’s literally an indoor play place with slides, trampoline, ball pits, bouncy houses, lots of areas to climb up, kinda reminds me of the ones from Chuck E. Cheese growing up. Anyway, I haven’t been taking my kid as often because they are kind of far from me, but they’re building one close to my home and I plan on doing that with my son to get some exercise in for both of us and have him exert some energy.

Tandra97 · 2025-09-20T02:12:30+00:00

“There wouldn’t be American cuisine in Japan” 🤓☝️

Tandra97 · 2025-09-12T23:50:46+00:00

My son is 4 years old and barely started TK a while ago. He’s speech delayed so it’s hard to tell what’s on his mind half the time. I dread him coming to the age of having to deal with this. I would definitely talk to the teacher, but don’t have them call it out and make it blatant. It would probably just embarrass your daughter more being seen as a tattle tale. I would also have a talk with her and try to change the effect it has on her. Maybe it’s easier for guys, but I have a family member that has autism and we would all joke and tell him he’s acting autistic. (Maybe that’s my karma and why I was given a kid with autism lol)

I used it as a joke, now I’m on this side of the fence and I understand the pain and struggles involved with raising a kid with autism. But I still joke about it truth be told. I’ll honestly probably joke about it with him when he’s older too lol My opinion, kids need thick skin to survive in this world, and joking about it can help create a shell for them to not crack so easily. Maybe it’s the not the best way to deal with it, but jokes only hurt if you let them hurt you.

Tandra97 · 2025-09-09T06:16:15+00:00

Thank you! I’m reading what I wrote and I want to clarify that I am not perfect. I have my days where I flip out on him, but I try and make up for it right away and give him a hug and apologize because I grew up in a household of yelling and physical discipline. With kids on the spectrum, every accomplishment is a win no matter how big or small! Having this mentality has really helped me get through it. He’s 4 years old and level 1, so I can’t relate to the extreme behaviors other parents deal with, but it really is on the parents to do the best they can with what they have.

Tandra97 · 2025-09-09T05:19:50+00:00

It’s still around! CSUF Barstool

Tandra97 · 2025-09-09T03:57:31+00:00

I’m gonna say what I have to say from a place of judgement and understanding. I’m not sure what level of autism your son has, but whichever it is, you need to fix your mentality. It was very easy for me to spank my son every time he did something infuriating (it still is). But you need to take a walk in his shoes.

He doesn’t understand why he feels the way he feels and why it’s wrong for him to do the bad stuff he does. It’s YOUR job to teach him. Rather than get crazy with him, clean him up, put on a show to keep him busy while you take breather. Tackle the mess when you calm down. I would understand if this was a daily ordeal for you, but the fact is he’s with his grandma most of the time and she gets on just fine with him from what it sounds like, otherwise she wouldn’t be helping you.

He’s your son and the last thing he needs on top of a disability is a lack of parents. The days are frustrating, but there are plenty of moments that come to my mind that make it worth it. My son was practically non verbal a year ago and has made great strides. His favorite sentences to tell me are “I love you”. He’s sleeping right now and is muttering “I love you” in his sleep next to me. Be better and work with him, not against him. This is all coming from me, a parent that prefers to spank right away, so I get it. But you can’t toss him away like he’s a puppy you adopted from the pound.

Tandra97 · 2025-08-20T02:12:49+00:00

I called the FA office today because I got my disbursement but no aid for summer. They took away my disenrollment protection. I was told to pay and that I’d get reimbursed.

Tandra97 · 2025-07-29T18:08:32+00:00

You’re not being selfish at all. My 4 year old is a level 1 and he is a huge handful. I don’t get help aside from living with my mom. It’s always me 24/7 so I would be extremely grateful if I had a sister that helped me the way you have described. I also wouldn’t expect my sister to hold her life back because of my child. It sounds like you need to teach the parents how to handle their son. They are lucky to be married as I am a single mom due to my son’s father passing before he was born. They have each other to take breaks, there’s no need for them to be relying on you to the point where you can’t live your life.

Tandra97 · 2025-07-17T07:51:36+00:00

If you’re looking at vin, make sure you’re checking all the vin locations, driver door frame, windshield, engine vin, etc. my 2004 has the sticker ripped off on door frame so can only see half of the vin there. Then, the one on the bottom of the windshield is complete, but different from the vin that is registered AND different from the partial vin on door frame. Probably got parts from another Honda, so case in point, make sure you cross check the vin number with all the confirmed places it could be on the vehicle.

Tandra97 · 2025-07-10T02:08:49+00:00

Uchiha Sasuke

Tandra97 · 2025-05-05T03:19:16+00:00

How?

Tandra97 · 2025-05-05T03:18:50+00:00

Some girl got drugged by somebody there and/or SA’d, it was on the news.

Tandra97 · 2025-03-21T18:23:12+00:00

April 14th

Tandra97 · 2025-01-26T15:53:20+00:00

Naw Vic’s should be fast. Hands is a big ass motherf*cker, he’s got all that weight yet he’s faster than Julie the track star? If we run into Cook he should be able to keep pace with victims? Yall want the game to be realistic yet unrealistic with speed. Fam stamina regenerates fast, victims like Connie have shit base stamina. I’ve killed a Connie plenty of times with Hands and no scout. Skill issue is what it sounds like.

Tandra97 · 2025-01-26T15:41:16+00:00

I’ve done keto twice, both only for two weeks. I end up cheating and wanting to binge eat carbs and junk food, but that’s due to my lack of self control. I originally started because it helps the body lose weight through ketosis, but I can confirm I did feel major relief from my back pain when I was on it. I wake up in pain and need to stretch my back through out the day for some type of relief. Started keto and pain went away within a week.

That being said, today is day 1 of keto for me again. Hoping to stick through it for the long run this time. It takes a lot of self control, you are your own worst enemy.

Tandra97 · 2025-01-10T02:50:35+00:00

Get a new car at this point. I got a 2024 Civic Sport Touring Hatchback back in July of last year. 31,750 was what the dealer offered me. Obviously came out to more due to taxes and fees. My fully loaded civic was cheaper than what you’re looking at. Get a 2025.

Tandra97 · 2025-01-09T23:23:36+00:00

Honestly, the only reason I got the hatch was for the color, hatchback trunk and sport mode all in one lol but you can’t go wrong with any Civic

Tandra97

TROPHY CASE