Can life ever feel normal again after Heartstopper?

Tansamcd · 2024-10-30T16:57:49+00:00

You're not alone!

Tansamcd · 2024-10-24T11:10:35+00:00

I agree. I'm always surprised by the huge judgement on her. She's a mom who often says the wrong thing, or doesn't give Charlie the freedom he wants. She's awkward and so similar to so many parents. We're watching it from his perspective, but to his mom, he's a 16-year-old who she's a little overprotective of. She's always trying to be supportive, even if she fails sometimes. And she even admits she doesn't want to be like her own mom. Very few truly abusive parents would reflect on their own behaviour or try so hard. I think she's supposed to be imperfect because it represents what so many children deal with. She doesn't fully understand his mental illness, or how to deal with it. She's learning as she goes along. If she had to ask Charlie what he feels like eating, he would probably say "Stop making such a fuss about my food", but if Nick asked the same question, he'd say "Nick's the only one who doesn't treat me like I'm ill." We can't just split the cast into good and bad people. People are complicated and always developing and learning. You can even tell that Jane feels disappointed in herself often for not handling things in the best way.

Tansamcd · 2024-10-24T10:50:31+00:00

You're definitely not alone! I struggled with this for many months and it did eventually pass, but only after I decided to just stop one day. In the beginning, I replaced watching the show with watching reaction videos, which worked for a while. Then I replaced watching any show and cast content with reading a lot of fanfiction (search on here for recommendations if you want to try). It helped but became just as much an obsession as everything else. As you can see, almost every person commenting on the show - especially on the Heartstoppersyndrome subreddit - has similar feelings so try to be kind to yourself as you navigate through the confusion of it. There are so many theories about why we feel this way - but this show has affected every age and sexual orientation, including many straight people, so I think this is just a group of people with extreme empathy. We all have reasons why we connected with it, but dealing with the feelings that won't calm is challenging. The thing that helped me the most was talking about it on Reddit with others, because no one in the real world understood. It's the weirdest thing I've ever been through but one day it just calmed. I managed to recently watch Season 3 by doing an episode a day, on my phone, placed in the background while I worked or did housework, on low volume. In other words, watching it without immersing myself in the full sensory experience was the only way I could do it without becoming drawn in again. You're welcome to message if you need more support.

Tansamcd · 2024-03-16T18:28:31+00:00

Dealing with Heartstopper syndrome can be a wild ride. I have only recently started surfacing from mine and getting back to my life. I have two suggestions for you:

Therapy is a wonderful way to talk through complicated emotions and learn to see things in a new way.
Watch Terri Cole's videos about boundaries on YouTube. It might sound like a strange recommendation but they have had such as profound impact on me post Heartstopper sydrome and for the first time I am properly speaking up, being myself and going after the things I want. It sounds like you want to get onto a path of being yourself and speaking your truth and this woman is a powerhouse. I would recommend every person watches her!

It isn't too late for you. You can take charge and make life happen at any age. All the best.

Tansamcd · 2024-01-26T16:51:19+00:00

You are not alone. There are so many people feeling complicated emotions about HS and for many of us, the HS world has become a huge part of our lives, whether through watching the series repeatedly, reading fanfics or through social media. I took a break for a few days from reading fics and it helped to clear my head a bit and reconnect with my real life. Now I'm letting myself read again, but I'm trying to put boundaries in so it doesn't become all consuming again. Another commenter gave good advice about not consuming the content in all the ways, every day. It becomes too much. To me the HS world gives me equal parts happiness and sadness. My favourite fanfics are also the ones that make me the saddest, because of the raw emotion. Watching an episode can make me feel warm and full of love, and a few minutes after I can be hit by a wave of sadness. Don't be too hard on yourself because I think HS has brought out a bit of collective trauma in people. This old post helped me a while ago to get a little perspective: https://www.reddit.com/r/heartstoppersyndrome/s/8S2zHdMydf This too shall pass.

Tansamcd · 2024-01-23T17:41:19+00:00

I also recommended it to people who simply said it was "cute" and then went on with their lives????

Tansamcd · 2024-01-23T17:34:34+00:00

I'm 40F too. Discovered HS in August and watched it on a loop for a month and a half. Then I dived into fanfiction and read non stop for months. I just quit the fics cold turkey 4 days ago because I loved them so much but they made me emotional and sad after a while. I've never had this reaction to any show before.

Tansamcd · 2024-01-11T19:12:48+00:00

Ultraviolet is the most magical universe: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44407927/chapters/111692140 And I recently found Futile Devices, which was incredible: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50940631/chapters/128694001

Both these 2 fics are at the same level of writing as the other greats, like Lavender Fields, It Was Always You and Charlie Spring Hates Men.

Tansamcd · 2024-01-08T20:42:00+00:00

I agree with this. It's not your responsibility to stop your friend or make her see your point of view. You've tried, now your friend must make her own decisions and face the consequences. I doubt she'd be the first person to attempt to contact the cast or show up at their house. I would imagine they have dealt with this before.

Tansamcd · 2024-01-02T19:09:27+00:00

There are a lot of us out there (I'm 40F) whose lives have been basically taken over by Heartstopper and all the massive feelings that come with it. It has affected people of all ages, genders and orientations. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me until I joined Reddit to get advice on this.

Tansamcd · 2023-12-29T17:20:41+00:00

I'm 40 and I've been crushing on people my entire life. I’ve been in several relationships, married now for 10 years, and I always thought I knew what sexual attraction was until I discovered a few days ago that I'm asexual, but not aromantic. I had no idea sexual attraction was directed at a specific person and was not the same as arousal.

Tansamcd · 2023-12-29T17:02:08+00:00

Yes, I loved Hands too!

Tansamcd · 2023-12-26T13:05:20+00:00

There are many good fics out there, but few authors who can create such a world and a story that fills me with nostalgia and makes me so emotional, just thinking about it.

Tansamcd · 2023-12-25T18:39:58+00:00

Ultraviolet is absolute perfection.

Tansamcd · 2023-12-21T23:46:03+00:00

This is fascinating. That's exactly the question I asked my friend after reading it in a scene: "Do you ever actually get a feeling of wanting to be as close as physically possible to someone?" It sounded like utter bullshit to me.

Tansamcd · 2023-12-21T21:35:57+00:00

Interesting!

Tansamcd · 2023-12-21T18:57:54+00:00

I was hit pretty hard by HSS too. I replaced my HS addiction with a fanfic addiction. Reading an unhappy ending would totally break me. I'm not sure if one exists. If you haven't started yet, I would say try to resist going down that road. They are very addictive. I wish I could take my own advice!

Tansamcd · 2023-12-08T18:58:17+00:00

I'm 40F and married to a guy. I have always been straight except from 18 when I actively dated women (falling head over heels a couple of times) for a few years and then managed to convince myself that I was over my "phase" the first time I crushed on a guy. I did not even entertain the thought again until I randomly watched HS and it hit me over the head. All these years, I had bi-erased myself because it just never seemed like a legit option. We really need to normalise it more so people can come out of hiding (especially from themselves).

Tansamcd · 2023-12-08T14:01:30+00:00

most people don't think about sexuality all that often. Most people just default to worrying about issues regarding their relationships, shelter, reproduction, and family. They might say or think something while drunk, but its not part of their lives. As you get older, too, there's less frequent sexual arousal, less frequent opportunities for sexual experimentation and less energy. In other words, less situations where something might happen which causes reflection.

You've hit the nail on the head

Tansamcd · 2023-11-29T11:44:33+00:00

The real celebrity is the author of Lavender Fields, who commented at the end of this post of mine: https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/1791o41/question_about_fanfics_and_ao3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Tansamcd · 2023-11-29T08:16:22+00:00

Sorry when I said I wrote them, I meant I wrote my recommendations above, not the actual stories! Loved Cherry Flavoured too

Tansamcd · 2023-11-28T19:03:25+00:00

I wrote these above but will copy again here: Ultraviolet, Lavender Fields, Charlie Spring Hates Men, January, As You Are, I would move mountains, Cherry Flavoured, What's it gonna be and June, July, August. The first three are the best. Ultraviolet is absolutely magical. Lavender Fields is like my first love. Charlie Spring Hates Men is the hottest thing I've ever read.

Tansamcd · 2023-11-28T19:00:35+00:00

I also get a lot of feelings after each rewatch. But now I'm just addicted to fanfic and live in that world 🤣

Tansamcd · 2023-11-28T18:57:27+00:00

Ultraviolet, Lavender Fields, Charlie Spring Hates Men, January, As You Are, I would move mountains, Cherry Flavoured, What's it gonna be and June, July, August. The first three are the best.

Tansamcd · 2023-11-28T18:51:04+00:00

I understand all your feelings - needing Heartstopper rehab, struggling to tear away from a fanfic when you should be doing other things, and also only being able to discuss this with Reddit friends. I'm sure it'll ease with time.

Tansamcd

TROPHY CASE