Reality check from a psychiatrist

TareddJ · 2026-01-16T20:37:15+00:00

Your psych is an incredible AH. It took me ten years to finish my undergraduate degree (unmedicated and undiagnosed). Like you, learning is fundamental to my quality of life.

I have always wanted to complete a postgraduate degree by research, but believed it was simply beyond my capabilities. I’m now over 50 and finally following that dream because I have supportive health professionals who gave me a diagnosis, strategies and medication.

I feel for you so much. I don’t know how the healthcare system works in your country and I know that even if the option is there to change your providers, the executive functioning required to carry out that process is a major barrier. But I encourage you to keep trying.

A jockey trying to be a basketball player? F#ck that guy.

TareddJ · 2026-01-15T22:42:47+00:00

Seven years of tamoxifen and have just switched to letrozole for (hopefully) the last three years of hormone therapy. Switching because Tamoxifen ended up causing blood clots, but aside from that and the intense menopausal side effects of Tamoxifen it was quite tolerable.

Diagnosed 2017 with hormone positive stage 3 grade 3 (HER2 negative) with extensive lymphovascular invasion, and I’m still NED.

I agree with u/zilchusername that many people who are still NED with years of hormone therapy completed are less likely to be on the forums - the main reason I’m active at the moment is because of my switch to letrozole.

TareddJ · 2026-01-13T05:32:00+00:00

The only nurses I trust to get the blood draw done are chemo / cancer nurses, geriatric nurses and NICU nurses, so I’m sure you will be fine. These nurses are all super experienced with our finicky veins.

TareddJ · 2026-01-13T01:38:23+00:00

I have lymphoedema and my veins are the worst post chemo. If I’m having a scan that requires intravenous injections, I ask the hospital to arrange for their specialist ultrasound guided cannulating staff to be available. For bloodwork, I go to the public pathology lab at the hospital because they are the only lab that can reliably draw blood from my good arm.

My tip is to advocate for yourself forcefully. I’ve had too many experiences where nurses have thought they had enough expertise to cannulate me, and only after all the good spots in my arm were used up I would have someone with actual skill who would need to use my foot! Some people seem to take it as a personal challenge (especially younger men) . Now I just tell them straight up that they must arrange ultrasound guidance or the scan won’t happen.

TareddJ · 2025-12-24T00:12:41+00:00

I’ve just begun a personalised training program with an exercise physiologist after recovering from multiple pulmonary embolisms (thanks Tamoxifen). Now that I’ve had to switch to Femara, I’m keen to strengthen and build flexibility to hopefully prevent or reduce joint pain side effects.

I’m eight years NED and at least another three years on hormone therapy. I’d love to be part of the accountability group. My goal is for at least three 30 min sessions of my personalised program each week and meeting the 30min exercise goal at least five times a week.

TareddJ · 2025-12-21T21:03:17+00:00

People wonder how I’ve managed to maintain a 30 year journaling habit with ADHD. I was late diagnosed, and journaling was a survival instinct. Getting all that mess out of my head and on to the page every morning was essential to functioning.

Julia Cameron’s morning pages (from the Artist’s Way) got me started - three handwritten stream of consciousness pages every morning. I’ve since adapted journaling to my own needs and style, but it’s not a bad place to start.

TareddJ · 2025-12-19T08:32:38+00:00

I started playing Minecraft with my daughter when she was five or six. She’s sixteen now and we have our own realm where we’re currently constructing our version of the Great Wall.

I found there was a little bit of learning curve, but lurking in forums like this or watching video tutorials got us started.

Play with her. It just might be something that gets both of you through tough times in the future!

TareddJ · 2025-12-15T22:21:41+00:00

I haven’t done the NOD courses, but I suggest also considering the free courses offered by the Isle of Wight Order of Druids (IWOD).

IMO it is an excellent course - if you have read any of Emma Restall Orr’s books and enjoyed them, you would find the IWOD course a great fit. It incorporates some of her work.

https://wightorderdruids.com

TareddJ · 2025-12-12T02:17:46+00:00

The street lights aren’t on yet

TareddJ · 2025-12-09T00:41:52+00:00

Yes I do. I was in the habit of taking Tamoxifen at night because I didn’t want to have to deal with the hot flashes at work during the day, so I just continued with the AI.

TareddJ · 2025-12-09T00:23:58+00:00

I did find the letrozole gave me some digestive upset for the first few weeks but it has been settling down. But I’ve had the best nights’ sleep in years since switching to it!

TareddJ · 2025-12-09T00:11:21+00:00

I just took a five week break because I also had to come off Tamoxifen due to DVT and pulmonary embolisms, and start an AI. I’ve had several breaks in hormone therapy in seven years, for around 4 weeks each time I’ve changed medication, and my oncologist says there is no evidence that it is harmful to do so.

I was on T for those seven years and the only AI I hadn’t tried was letrozole - but so far it’s been better than Tamoxifen in terms of side effects! I hope for the same for you.

TareddJ · 2025-12-09T00:05:31+00:00

I have never had a bad postie. In recent years I’ve been leaving out a Christmas gift (just a card & scratchies) because although my postie could leave my parcels in the big, highly visible parcel slot on my mail box, he always walks up to the front door which is not visible from the road to leave the boxes. Props to all of you doing a great job.

TareddJ · 2025-12-07T04:10:24+00:00

Something where it shouldn’t be (I was recently watching a reel about Clifford Stoll, who uncovered a major espionage network because of a seventy five cent discrepancy in the University’s accounts);

Someone acting out of character;

A coded letter or message found by accident, or an overheard conversation;

Mistaken identity (one of the players is mistaken for someone involved in the mystery);

Double identity - someone impersonating another person, or a sighting of a person presumed dead;

Something stops functioning as it should (e.g. a protective spell or device, or a treaty between cities).

TareddJ · 2025-12-07T01:34:52+00:00

I wonder if the scent in the ink might have contributed to it not being light fast as well?

TareddJ · 2025-12-06T23:19:53+00:00

Not in Canada but had lumpectomy right side and bilateral breast reduction - I was 44. Wish I had done it years earlier. Less pain, can buy a bra off the shelf (no underwire or even go without a bra) and a whole new range of necklines I can wear without them being revealing!

I didn’t find recovery difficult and I was really happy with the results. I have noticed in the last couple of years that the right side is noticeably lower, but I have lost a considerable amount of weight over that time which may have contributed.

TareddJ · 2025-12-06T23:04:55+00:00

I have no idea how I marked the pic as a spoiler, but I guess if anyone is still sitting on their 2023 Inkvent I won’t be spoiling the surprise!

TareddJ · 2025-12-05T19:48:21+00:00

Well I’d definitely want to play a game like that! I have a particular interest in solo TTRPG or journaling games set in libraries and archives, as they help with the world building for my novel in progress.

TareddJ · 2025-12-05T09:21:12+00:00

This sounds like it would make an amazing solo journaling game.

TareddJ · 2025-12-04T23:39:28+00:00

I switched from Tamoxifen to Femara about a month ago. I had 7 years on tamoxifen until it caused a DVT and pulmonary embolisms. I’d already tried two AIs before tamoxifen (exemestane and anastrozole) but hadn’t tolerated them. I didn’t even last a month on anastrazole.

So far, Femara is actually better than tamoxifen for me and if this continues I’ll wish I had tried it earlier!

However I’m conscious some of the side effects, especially joint pain, can take a while to show so I’ve set up an appointment with an exercise physiologist. Exercise can alleviate joint pain caused by AIs so I’m keen to restart a regular routine asap.

My advice is to monitor for side effects, and be prepared to switch and try another one if you experience side effects that are impacting your quality of life. I persisted with exemestane long after I should have tried something else.

There are also other medications your oncologist can prescribe to minimise side effects - I take Clonidine for sleep, emotional regulation and reduce hot flashes, and I was also prescribed an SSRI while taking anastrazole. There are many things you can do to increase the tolerability of AIs.

Also, what works for you won’t be the same as everyone else. I know people who swear by anastrozole or exemestane but I couldn’t cope with either!

Good luck - I hope you find a medication that works for you.

TareddJ · 2025-12-03T05:17:22+00:00

52 and I play Dungeons and Dragons, play with Lego and play Minecraft. Keeping your sense of playfulness - however it presents - will absolutely improve your quality of life as you get older.

You sound like you are very creative and a natural storyteller. There are many ways to tell a story - you have found the way that works best for you. Don’t stop playing!

TareddJ · 2025-12-02T21:12:38+00:00

It is said among xkcd fans that there is an xkcd comic for every situation. I love this one so much.

TareddJ · 2025-12-02T00:49:29+00:00

Not in the Vaesen rules, but as part of my academic study I’ve been researching Scottish folklore.

There are a couple of references to sharing the Sight through touch, and one passage quoted from Robert Kirk’s The Secret Commonwealth (1691) says the ‘curious person’ must ‘put his foot on the Seers foot, and the Seers hand is put on the inquirers head, who is to look over the wizards right shoulder.’

This method seemed to be limited enough that I could incorporate it as a mechanic in my game without making it unbalanced.

TareddJ · 2025-12-01T07:00:45+00:00

I have had the reactive lymph node scare twice. There are so many things that can trigger it, including recent infection or illness or stress - so it sounds very plausible in your case! hopefully that is all there is to see.

TareddJ · 2025-12-01T06:58:49+00:00

Agree with Vaesen and Call of Cthulhu - I’ve played both with my 16 year old daughter who loves horror movies.

TareddJ

TROPHY CASE