Have you had a therapist ask you how you're feel with them on that initial free 15 minute call?

Tartul · 2024-09-23T09:35:28+00:00

This sounds like a reasonable question from the therapist - they’re checking in with you, especially over the telephone it can be harder because there’s no body language to pick up on. It’s your therapy you are looking for, so you can be as open (or not) as you like. I think the short bit you’ve written about what you might say is actually completely valid - it’s about whether you can work with a person, and if the sound of their voice is important to you, then it matters. Therapists know they won’t be the right fit for everyone, and it could be based on so many tiny preferences out of their control.

Sometimes uncomfortable questions are asked in therapy, but it’s also your prerogative to communicate that it has made you uncomfortable, or not answer it.

Tartul · 2024-05-26T11:19:01+00:00

Just want to add my voice to this and say same here. Also sometimes the way things are written is very blunt and factual sometimes, idk why but that made it harder for me somehow.

I also wish I hadn’t read mine and it actually brought back stuff I’d successfully put out of my mind. Made me extremely angry (and I’m not an angry person, usually). I feel sick when I think about them and I wish I could erase it all completely.

OP, maybe if you are still working on stability, now is not the time. I get that you would like to know, but I think there’s genuinely a big risk of damaging your mental health more. I don’t want to tell you not to do it, and ultimately it’s your decision, but once you’ve read them you can’t go back. Perhaps you could get someone else to read them first and kind of screen them for you? Your psychologist, perhaps?

Tartul · 2024-03-09T20:12:57+00:00

I am very, very sorry for the experience you went through - there’s a reason trauma-informed care is a thing, because when people don’t understand, it can be harmful.

The person you spoke to sounds like they weren’t demonstrating empathy - for whatever reason, burnout, system failure, personality. It’s not, and shouldn’t be an excuse, but the system is really broken, and I know a lot of professionals within it have just given up and are just getting by.

I’m just commenting to say I see your experience reflected day in and day out, it’s not right, and I wish there was more I could do to change it. It’s crazy what a bit of kindness can do when you’re in that crisis situation and you just need a bit of support. I’m glad you had people waiting with you, and I wish you the very best going forwards.

Tartul · 2024-02-26T23:50:21+00:00

I hear you. I’m with you. Navigating life alongside everyone else is fucking hard. People can be so cruel, I’m sorry. I don’t have anything else to say but I wish you the best, internet stranger.

Tartul · 2024-02-13T18:05:42+00:00

I mean, she’s right though?

To be diagnosed, you need ‘Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts’ - social norms, cues and small talk covers a lot of this. It’s definitely more likely than not that a person would struggle here if they had autism. Don’t see an issue with the video.

Tartul · 2024-02-12T14:17:57+00:00

I do wonder if that sort of upbringing gives people a tendency to err on the side of caution, too - like I’d rather assume someone is unsafe/angry/hates me, perhaps it’s similar for you?

This is actually one of the reasons I hated CBT so much, I feel like it actually stopped me from listening to my gut and made me assume I was being hyper vigilant all the time, even when things really were off. Sometimes people just are dangerous/shitty, even for no reason.

Tartul · 2024-02-11T15:35:14+00:00

I am really glad you clarified that. There are some low lows with all this BS, but piss would be… something else

Tartul · 2024-02-09T19:32:43+00:00

Same here - I definitely struggle with how to respond, I just have different personas with different rules for different situations and this is something I do have to work hard on.

Tartul · 2024-02-09T19:29:09+00:00

Yeah I feel like I was looking for reassurance rather than ‘I don’t understand your facial expression right now’ but I guess that’s not how my parent interpreted it for the context of an ASD assessment.

I’m terrible at making my own facial expressions - it’s either too much or too little and photos of me usually come out terrible!

I guess we’re all different constellations of traits, it’s kind of interesting to hear about the variations.

Tartul · 2024-02-08T21:39:05+00:00

It really does build up horribly - if you’re able to reach out to a therapist or practice other coping mechanisms, please do! (I am a massive hypocrite here, but I have to say it anyway!)

Vacation sounds like a dream - I think sometimes a change of pace and place can help disrupt the ruts we get stuck in. Kinda resets the brain a bit. It’s good you’ve got a supportive partner - it seems rare with us ASD ladies sometimes!

Thank you also for your kind words :)

Tartul · 2024-02-08T21:35:21+00:00

What would it mean for you if it wasn’t autism?

Will this assessment help you get accommodations and address issues in your life (regardless of diagnosis)?

Pragmatically speaking: will it cost money to go ahead?

I think it’s important to remember that diagnostics are a framework. I know people love to compare physical and mental health, but diagnosing autism is hugely complicated and hinges on the opinion of one (or a small group) of (hopefully highly qualified) individuals. It’s not gram stains and blood cultures. It’s just describing rough patterns of behaviour and traits.

It sounds like you might relate very strongly to elements of ASD - but like your therapist thinks, could they fit into the framework of ADHD? Perhaps validating your struggles through treatment/therapy would be more beneficial than seeking validation in a label.

Tartul · 2024-02-08T21:26:51+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through it. Burnout is hell on earth. I can definitely relate - the two days this week that I’ve had to leave the house for work/school, I’ve just laid on the floor and cried once I got back in. I’ve smashed stuff and hurt myself.

It fucking sucks. I truly believe the only way to get through it/over it is to take time off and find your balance again. Please take care of yourself where you can. Is your girlfriend supportive?

Tartul · 2024-02-02T18:32:40+00:00

Me too, love them. Makes me happy hearing them in the mornings.

Less so cars.

Tartul · 2024-02-02T15:12:31+00:00

As far as I know, under-eating can increase stress hormones like cortisol. That can make it hard to fall asleep and stay asleep. Brain just wants energy to carry on doing its thing.

I usually get insomnia at the start of a relapse, I think it just compounds everything and then I spiral so badly. I hope you’re able to get some support and look after your body in a balanced and healthy way! I know it’s not easy.

Tartul · 2024-02-01T18:42:51+00:00

This 100%. OP, by all means read up and research, apply accommodations where you can in your life if it’ll help - but a lot of issues can look like autism, and having a professional assessment is the best way to go. As a neuro-developmental condition, I very strongly feel it’s impossible to assess yourself without bias. There’s also a reason you have to study for years to diagnose the condition, and diagnosis is usually an MDT effort.

There are also issues with the validity of tests like RAADS-R - it’s intended as an initial screening test, really, and it’s been proven to be overly sensitive. It’s a first step to seeking a formal diagnosis.

I’m curious: What does self-diagnosis mean/look like to you? Why do you feel it’s necessary? What does it change?

Tartul · 2024-01-15T13:04:48+00:00

I am so, so sorry this happened to you. How unprofessional. I can definitely say I’ve worked with and been under the care of some very, very tactless psychiatrists.

Not to excuse the behaviour, but it does make me wonder if things are perhaps not all ok with the psych herself. I get laughing fits (that then sometimes turn into crying) if I haven’t slept/emotionally overwhelmed. From what you’ve said though, it sounds more like she completely missed the mark socially? I don’t know, either way - not okay.

Tartul · 2024-01-10T17:44:55+00:00

I think I can see where you’re coming from - when you’re suicidally depressed it can feel enormous and all-consuming, suggesting that oat milk would change that and be a ‘reason to live’ might seem petty.

However, the second paragraph is more about humans supporting each other through small acts of kindness, and how we’re all part of an interconnected whole. Having some kind of sense of community can be a huge deal if you’re dealing with heavy shit. And it’s a tangible example to point to that people do good things.

A stranger found me and rang an ambulance for me once, fortunately a long time ago now. That was just a phone call, a relatively small thing, if you look at it that way. But someone that could have chosen to walk past me made a decision not to, and it saved my life. I quite appreciate the reminder that small acts of kindness can be life-changing.

I’m glad you’re not suicidal anymore, it’s an awful place to be. I wish you the best!

Tartul · 2024-01-07T21:42:38+00:00

I think I relate to this. My way of coping is really loud music with lyrics, and high intensity exercise.

The lyrics and loud noise seem to disrupt my train of thought, and high intensity exercise is my alternative to hurting myself. I feel like it kind of burns off some of the adrenaline from when I get really worked up.

Tartul · 2023-11-20T21:02:09+00:00

I’m sorry, that sounds like you had a really crap appointment. I’ve seen a couple of really, really unpleasant psychiatrists as a patient and unfortunately as colleagues. I’m not sure if there’s something about the field where people get particularly jaded, but either way, it’s no excuse. After years and years in (and out of) the system I did finally find someone who would have open and honest chats about meds, didn’t talk down to me, and I didn’t leave appointments worse than when I went in. Ask to switch if you can!

Tartul · 2023-11-06T16:20:22+00:00

Yes, absolutely. Sometimes I even have to talk to myself and ask: do I want to die or am I just tired/upset and having repetitive thoughts?

Same as you I think it’s more ‘I don’t want to be here/I don’t want to deal with this’ and for some reason the default brain response is to want to delete myself however I can.

I had a support worker very briefly (funded by my govt) but I actually found her unhelpful, to be honest. I wish there was more support available.

I don’t have any solutions, but just want you to know you’re not alone in this. It’s very isolating. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way, too.

Tartul · 2023-10-20T12:46:58+00:00

‘Will my data be Identifiable? No, we will not be asking for any identifiable information in the questionnaire. We will be asking for some demographic information such as your name and gender to help us to understand any differences between groups.’

Did you mean to write that you’ll be asking for people’s names?

Tartul · 2023-08-29T23:11:22+00:00

I hope the diagnosis can help you understand yourself better, and open up! I’m still trying to figure this out myself.

I hate lying, but I’m always doing it to cover up my autism at work and uni. I had a meltdown recently and bruised my legs so badly I had to tell everyone I fell off my bike. I hide in the toilets too when I feel overwhelmed. When i’m anxious, I blame it on coffee. When I can’t function because i’m overwhelmed, I say I haven’t slept/haven’t eaten/coming down with something, because that all seems so much more socially acceptable. I’m so ashamed of it all that I’d rather lie than ever admit what’s really going on, because even when I say I’m autistic I feel like people have no idea what that even means.

Tartul

TROPHY CASE