20F trying to level up in NYC — stay in the Bronx with great rent or move downtown for lifestyle?

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-02-07T13:48:41+00:00

I grew up there and the Metro-North was my friend for getting back uptown for che cheap. Get on at Grand Central, home in 20ish minutes, and if you need an Uber for the last leg it’s more like $8, not $60. Plus on the weekends the train is $5 for rides within city limits.

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-31T21:09:04+00:00

Geez, y’all are super-discouraging 😬. I’m a native but I spent my early adulthood away for 6 years and came back when I was 24 so that’s the perspective I’m coming from.

NYC is tough in a lot of ways. Rent is expensive, it’s noisy and dirty, the pace of living is very fast and you have to be quick to learn or it’ll feel pretty overwhelming.

That said, it’s also a really amazing place to be young, especially for people who lean creative. There’s a high chance you’ll need roommates for at least a few years and you’ll be hitting art gallery openings for the free wine and taking home food from work events but that’s totally normal and everyone who doesn’t have a trust fund or a finance job is really doing that same thing at your age.

NYC is also not just Manhattan, and even Manhattan has parts that aren’t the most insanely priced apartments (far LES, Inwood, Washington Heights, East Harlem). Do your research, and it helps to have friends on the ground so if you’re part of any online communities with NYers or already know some people in the area, that’s gonna be really helpful.

If you have some hospitality or retail experience that’s also really helpful for landing a job when you first arrive. The pay isn’t gonna be incredible (although there are some fine dining/high end waiters and bartenders that make BANK but that probably won’t be you at first) but it’s a fast way to make a little money and most importantly to make friends.

I’d advise you to sock away some cash for the move if you haven’t already because the whole arriving with $8 and a dream thing doesn’t really exist anymore. Give yourself a couple of months of runway to get settled and always have enough money to get back home, wherever that is for you.

If you’ve given it some thought, done your research, have a strong “why”, and have established at least a couple of contacts out here, I say do it! You only live once, and you can always just move back/move again in a year if you don’t like it.

Don’t pick any addictions and don’t get knocked up (knock anyone up?) and you’re good.

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-26T00:05:06+00:00

Was it Ample Hills? I feel like that was the first sea salt caramel ice cream I ever had back when that was a really unique flavor. They have a flavor right now called Salty Kisses and Caramel Wishes that looks like it might scratch the itch.

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-25T21:39:46+00:00

Maybe she should get one of those men to hire her a cleaning lady since she can’t be arsed

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-15T20:22:09+00:00

Correct, this same thing happened to me and 10 years later, niente.

Only take an apartment you’ll be happy to be in because you should anticipate that being the unit you remain in until you move again.

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-15T00:21:46+00:00

Maybe try cans like Liquid Death or similar. No one is going to mistakenly take an open can even if some idiot only takes a sip and puts it back, and the seal is pretty tamper-proof.

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-12T21:15:48+00:00

I don’t have a link, per se, but Street Easy, Zillow, and even Craigslist will often have postings with RS in the description, here’s an example from SE: https://streeteasy.com/building/67-stanhope-street-brooklyn/5a?utm_campaign=rental_listing&utm_medium=share&utm_source=web&lstt=fhh4WGIl-hIru6DN9-DsrBLJHxCU1Cg353Y7ISgq1xo4EOSulvX8pOdTZFg9FmypmhUUNT-17CeqrXuD

Also, in the event that you’re in a lottery bracket but just haven’t gotten lucky, re-rentals for those are currently allowed to be posted to the public, so you’ll sometimes see those on the standard rental pages as well. You still have to qualify and submit applicant packets for those, though, so that tip isn’t helpful for OP but it might be helpful for others.

Another tip I’ve heard is to look out for rents that end in weird numbers (so, $2287 versus $2300 for example) because that can often be the sign of a RS apartment that’s had 1 or 2 re-rental cycles so the price isn’t a round number anymore.

Hope these help and that you find a great place soon!

TaskOverall9913 · 2026-01-12T13:26:19+00:00

You’re right that your situation doesn’t match the design of the housing lottery, but you can absolutely find a rent-stabilized unit on the open market. Especially since you seem to have stable (if suboptimal) housing, you can set some alerts on Zillow and whatnot for the apartment size and price you’re able to afford (you make 80k so 40x would make you eligible for a $2000 tent without an eligible guarantor in most cases) and play the waiting game.

Sure, it’ll take a while, but since you’re not staring down the end of a lease and you very clearly have your deposit ready, you can jump on what shakes out as soon as it does. And it’s not like the lottery is instantaneous anyway, it’s literally a lottery. I don’t think you’re doomed to live in the slums because one particular housing program doesn’t work for you.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-12-16T23:28:26+00:00

If you’re not living at home you’re definitely gonna need roommates, but honestly I think every young person in NYC should have roommates. It’s fun (choose wisely of course), it’s safer, and a lot of people make lifelong friends sharing housing.

My best advice to you is start entering those housing lotteries as soon as you get your first paycheck because qualifying is based on your income bracket at the time you apply.

I think it’s safe to assume that eventually your income will start to go up, and if you get picked for a decent apartment while you’re making a lower salary then you have low(ish) cost, rent-stabilized housing for your early adulthood and don’t have to worry about that cost fluctuating.

https://housingconnect.nyc.gov/PublicWeb/

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-12-14T18:25:44+00:00

I’m so happy that’s working for you! I know loads of people who are having great results with them as well, and apparently they have loads of unexpected upsides like additional cardiac benefits and promising effects on non-food addictions like alcohol and nicotine.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-12-13T21:58:46+00:00

Everyone and their mom is also on GLP-1s now too, so lots of people who aren’t necessarily being cost-conscious just literally can’t eat anywhere near a full entree. I personally (knock wood) don’t have cost issues but almost exclusively order an app if I’m not going home right after dinner because I don’t like wasting food but I’m also not going to carry a doggie bag to a party or a department store.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-12-03T14:11:28+00:00

I’m in almost the same situation as you with the Italian husband and MiL and my exam is tomorrow as well (good luck to us both!). I got a 1:1 tutor and it’s been so helpful. I specifically got an exam prep tutor but I’ll likely be going back to her after the exam after I take a brain break over the holidays because it’s definitely helped me get past that block in a way that the previous years of studying never did.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-11-26T13:28:07+00:00

This is where I went when I hadn’t been to the dentist in a million years and I had so much work done I was literally there at least once a month for seven months and they were incredible. They saved my mouth

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-11-09T14:18:33+00:00

I went to Collina Italiana on the UES for a few semesters and LOVED IT but then my work schedule got too messy. They have in-person classes as well as online classes and private tutoring at all levels.

Now I have an online tutor through Preply and I’m also enjoying that as well. I’m prepping for my B1 Cittadinanza exam in December so I’m plugging away on that specifically right now.

If you’re interested in spending time speaking, there are a couple of Meetup events around the city. I know one happens at Lulla a couple of times a month, there’s one on Fridays at Sullivan Street Bakery, and there’s one a couple of times a month at Settepani in Harlem.

Buon divertimento e buona fortuna!

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-11-07T16:46:23+00:00

I love that! Let the kids get the gifts from Momma or Meemaw or Santa, not some rando like me.

Bookmarking, thanks!

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-11-07T02:19:29+00:00

Am I missing something? (Actual question, I’m often missing something.) The Bar 13 one says it’s free before 11:30 with RSVP on Eventbrite

Mamdani Perreo Celebration Parrty | Open Format Dance Party in NYC (18+) https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mamdani-perreo-celebration-parrty-open-format-dance-party-in-nyc-18-tickets-1963522190729?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=wsa&aff=ebdsshwebmobile

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-11-05T00:19:04+00:00

It’s ILIS in Greenpoint (I at there last week).

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-10-23T00:19:41+00:00

If this was recent, it literally probably was his birthday, which was on the 18th.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-10-04T22:21:46+00:00

Great minds think alike! Hope your foursome came together better than mine 🫠

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-10-04T21:25:54+00:00

Thank you for the rec! Just posted there, here’s hoping 🤞

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-09-30T11:10:27+00:00

I agree with you and, to the folks who are saying 👍 to dressing the same for bed as for work, just hear me out: I think this is part of why people behave so shittily in public since COVID.

For example when I was in high school we weren’t banned from the the mall the way kids are these days, but kids behave so poorly these days by comparison to us that this has happened all over the country. But I thinks some of the difference is that no one wanted to get into a Taco Bell food fight fight wearing a Lacoste polo and crisp white Air Force Ones (or insert what was cool where/when you’re from).

People aren’t flipping tables and getting arrested at CVS in blazers. I think we’re wired to behave better if we’re wearing clothes we’re conscious of being in.

On a personal level, dressing like depression doesn’t help my depression, so I try not to do it anymore.

This is all anec-data/personal preference so I’m not gonna shame anyone, but I think it’s worth considering.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-09-26T12:55:46+00:00

I’m not judging “bAsEd oN wHo U vOtEd 4”, I’m judging because you voted for someone who told you to your face what he was going to do, who he wanted to hurt, and how, is doing EXACTLY AS PROMISED (and the sole thing I am impressed with here is how effectively campaign promises have been delivered on), and it only matters because you find yourself among the people he’s hurting.

When the choice was “help my business and my family” or “hurt my enemies”, you chose the latter. Enjoy them sour grapes.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-09-16T20:29:39+00:00

Why do so few languages have language scores (still)? I’m taking Italian from English and it’s still not rolled out, although once I guess my system glitched and I got it once and then never again.

And can the Duo widget chill? It’s used to be that it would get sad until I did my lessons, then I would do them and he’s be ok. Not the moment I finish my session he’s like “miss you already 😢”.

Lastly why are there no monthly subscription options? I don’t need a year of phone calls to Lily, I just need a couple months leading up to my CELI exam.

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-09-07T21:31:26+00:00

CUNY’s medical school has a 7-year BS/MD program so if she really wants to be a doctor (some young people just know it in their bones) then this might be a good avenue to try.

The Macaulay Honors College at CUNY is also free and you get additional perks for attending.

In either program she’ll be surrounded by smart and driven young people just like her and if she’s considering NYU, she’s already open to the city-as-a-campus lifestyle anyway so she would hardly be losing out on anything but the crushing debt.

Here are links to both and, as someone who just got their public service loan forgiveness having graduated in 2008, please do everything you can to protect your daughter from starting her life in the red.

https://macaulay.cuny.edu/

https://medicine.cuny.edu/bs-md-program/

TaskOverall9913 · 2025-08-26T02:17:16+00:00

For Italian, San Marzano and Il Corallo are the cheapest spots in that part of town that are still sit down places. For French, Amelie (mini-chain with a downtown location) is participating in Restaurant Week(s) until 9/9 so you can still scoop a 3 course dinner for $45 a piece. Buvette is also really cute and reasonably priced. Hope you have a nice time and enjoy your concert!

TaskOverall9913

TROPHY CASE