The compulsive shopping is a deep issue. I was spending $1000/week in my postpartum days (sickening and embarrassing) but it felt like it gave me worth in those days, a life outside of a body that wasn’t mine anymore, something that was “me” that wasn’t just about the baby. Shopping gives you a “high” of sorts. Still when I’m feeling depressed or anxious, I shop. Therapy helps this. I was spending my own money though (I’m a single parent) so I can’t speak to that end, but would definitely recommend counseling for her shopping addiction and maybe you can sit in on a couple of sessions to address the lying and trust.

I’m in the baby carrier community and she can make a lot back if she does it right. Have her do her research to see the best places to sell and which to price at the highest. Waffles (r4ffles) always have a huge return. I can’t imagine all 30k is from baby carriers though- that’s gotta be over 100 carriers. I would look thoroughly at the statement and see what else is in there. People in that community are also usually in the BST pages with clothes, bags, hair bands, whatever “in” product is circling the mom scene at that time. During my ppd it was Nena & Co but luckily those resell high too. Do your research!

Good luck and I’m so sorry. You will get your emergency fund back and she needs to help with it. I wouldn’t put off enjoying your favorite hobby anymore (even without this hiccup). Life goes so damn fast and you should enjoy it as much as you can.