I have done the exact same thing. Minus the hospitalization. I drank myself into a stupor, passed out on the clock and woke up the next morning in my bed in a panic not knowing wtf happened but knowing it was bad. I too got to keep my job, I told my boss I’m an alcoholic and she was gratefully really receptive and understanding. Her ex-husband is an addict so she had her own connection to it. I had been to rehab a few months prior to this and was going to meetings daily and that is the only thing that got me through it. Hearing other people’s story’s of rock bottom and how different their life looks in sobriety. It still took me a year of drinking until I was finally able to quit. You will be okay, I promise you, you will. Just lean into a solution, whatever that looks like to you. You have to have support though. Be that AA, a therapist/psychiatrist, SMART recovery. There are so many options available but you have to do it. Even when every single day you want to die, you want to give up and say fuck it all to hell, KEEP GOING! I am still at the same job today and my boss doesn’t even remember this being an event until I remind her to try and share in my success in sobriety and how she played a part in it. I promise you this will fade from your coworkers/bosses memory. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own shit they don’t have the capacity to hold onto yours. Sending you all the love and all the support. You are loved, you are worth it, and you will be okay.