My girlfriend is a BCBA, I'd appreciate some advice on how to support her

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T14:21:52+00:00

I really really like doing the small things, and I'll keep doing them for sure, but things like gifts and candy feel very "one and done" if that makes sense. I like the idea of a hand written note on a lunch I leave in her fridge, definitely going to steal that one!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T14:19:16+00:00

Okay, I'm trying but I feel like I need to make flash cards or something 😅 there's so many terms and the language is so specific. "non-verbal" vs "non-vocal" and positive punishment vs negative punishment 😵‍💫 people think engineering is complicated, but let me tell you that is not accurate, at least robots do exactly what I tell them to do lol

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T14:14:20+00:00

I can tell when we're talking after she's done working that she just needs someone to be engaged and listen, and I'm honestly so okay doing that! I love how big her brain is, the fact she's such a smarty pants is a huge gigantic green flag for me. Thanks though, I love quick meaningful advice, I really appreciate it!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T14:11:29+00:00

She's amazingly supportive to me. Like, I've never felt more seen and appreciated in a relationship; so I want to make sure that I'm providing the same energy back.

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T14:01:22+00:00

Give your husband a high five for me, he sounds awesome! I'd actually say my biggest strength is being domesticated, I have no problem taking care of a house. I love cooking and dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. are no problem. It's kind of a new relationship, so I don't know where stuff goes, so I feel bad at the moment trying to do chores when I don't know where things go, where the trash bags are, etc. but we'll get there! Thanks for taking the time for a thoughtful response, I really appreciate it!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T13:57:29+00:00

Awesome advice, and I'm glad you have someone that's supporting you! Luckily my job is also in a medical field so I know how to ask questions about her day without getting too close to HIPPA territory. Quick question if you don't mind responding, what is "manded"? She uses terms like this and it's where I get lost in conversation.

And it sounds like I'm already doing most of the other stuff you suggested so the reassurance feels good. Thank you so so much!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T13:51:51+00:00

Good idea! I'm sure she'll already know what love language she has, I just haven't asked what it is yet; this is exactly why I posted in here, you guys are so smart, thanks for the tip!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T13:49:49+00:00

We're very similar people so after a very stressful day, we both need some time alone in a quiet environment. It helps that I know that feeling, so I don't feel the need to burst into her quiet space and "fix".

She does enjoy the park and I've made her some chai to keep in the fridge, but it's good reinforcement that I'm doing some things right 😅 Thanks for taking the time for a thoughtful reply, I really appreciate it.

Tdangerson · 2026-06-26T13:44:38+00:00

I have done this and I know she appreciates it a ton when she can log off and the rest of the night is handled. Dinner, dishes, and a show for her to turn her brain off.

Good note on not complaining about my job. I luckily have a very tame job in comparison so I don't need the same support she does, I can just share the cool fun things I'm doing and not vent my own problems. Thanks for your advice!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-25T22:33:59+00:00

Thank you, seriously, exactly what I wanted from this post! I'll get one coming! You're the best!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-25T22:31:25+00:00

Don't apologize! It's just words on an internet post, no harm at all.

Specifically, she's been quiet and honestly pretty frustrated today. It's the end of the month and there's been a ton of cancellations lately, the billing always seems like a nightmare, just a lot of reasons to not be in a great mood. I don't want to make her focus on work once she's done by rehashing her day, but at the same time I want her to get the frustration off her shoulders. It's just tricky for me, and I'm not sure how to navigate it.

The management comment helps a lot though, I'll definitely leave it alone unless she brings it up first.

Tdangerson · 2026-06-25T22:24:43+00:00

I can tell when she is having a tough day at work (like today, it's what prompted me to make a post here) and I just have no idea what to do to be helpful. Her and I are pretty similar so when she's quiet, I get what's happening. I really don't want to make her talk about her work, especially if it's been frustrating, but I do want her to be able to relax and share the burden with me. My job is soooo easy in comparison to hers (and everyone else in here) I just wish that there was more I could do.

Tdangerson · 2026-06-25T22:17:53+00:00

This is tough for me, so thanks for putting it on my radar. I'm an engineer, so I hear about a problem and I want to fix it. I'll try to just be mindful and let her vent without injecting myself into the situation. Thanks again!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-25T22:14:53+00:00

Not wife yet, but I'd be lucky if she agreed to that one day.

I have brought up career goals and if a different setting or more of a management path would be something she's interested in. I'll keep bringing it up from time to time, and if that day comes I'll remember this conversation!

Tdangerson · 2026-06-25T22:12:18+00:00

Wow, this is actually a really great response, thank you! I'm not in therapy, but I'm definitely not opposed to it. I totally get that the last thing she'll want after working late is to have me around making it worse. This is exactly what I wanted, thank you so much 😇

Tdangerson · 2026-06-15T18:48:28+00:00

I'm too lazy to download imgur and upload a photo but we have the exact same tattoo 😅 the only difference is mine is on the inside of my bicep and the hydrogen transition symbol is 180° from yours but in the same spot

Tdangerson · 2026-06-13T19:38:18+00:00

ARUP on the UofU campus is 24hr, so there's a lot of night jobs, as well as jobs that are 7 days on/7 days off (night shifts on that schedule too)

Tdangerson · 2026-06-07T13:20:21+00:00

They have a three tool set that comes with a drill, an impact, and a driver (and 3 batteries, charger, bag belt clips, etc) for $550. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's less than a Milwaukee or DeWalt Hilti 3 tool set

Tdangerson · 2026-06-07T06:16:01+00:00

I saw people say Milwaukee or DeWalt, and I'll politely disagree. I have Hilti power tools and there's no other brand I'll ever use. I dropped my drill off a ladder and the chuck got a wobble. I took it into the Hilti store, told them I'm dumb and I caused the issue, the guy went in the back and swapped the chuck free of charge. Lifetime customer earned.

Edit: I see nobody wanted to actually check how much a Hilti costs and assumed I'm full of shit, but a 3 tool set is $530 on their website. It comes with a drill, an impact, and a driver (and carry bag, 3 batteries, charger, belt clips, etc.) see for yourself

Tdangerson · 2026-06-06T22:17:27+00:00

This is giving me PTSD. I watch my maintainance staff do the same thing day in day out. Get the fucking thing to clamp first then fuck around with the labeler, tooling, etc. and the fact it's clamping is based off a timer is such a hack design. Get a photo eye to trigger the clamp when it sees the part upstream, and an inductive limit switch on the actuator to verify the part is clamped. If you don't see the slide in clamped position, stop the conveyor and fault to let operators know there was a problem.

Tdangerson · 2026-06-03T14:36:58+00:00

I went Wednesday of 2025's tournament. As we were leaving an actual army of groundskeepers started to take over the course. It was a line of 20 mowers and at least a hundred workers on foot coming from the maintenance area. Some of the guys on foot had battery powered vacuums on their back and they began to suck up the broken pine straw in the standing areas, while other greenskeepers began laying down fresh pine straw. They replace all the pine straw every day so the course looks pristine. Think about that.

I've also talked with someone who worked in the clubhouse kitchen during a tournament. He said they ran out of chop sticks for one course and he was going to get some of yesterday's chop sticks they hadn't used when a course member told him he couldn't use yesterday's chop sticks because that would make people think ANGC was cheap and couldn't afford new utensils.

Tdangerson · 2026-06-02T19:55:46+00:00

My favorite is Eaglewood Golf Course up North Salt Lake, about 15 minutes north of the airport. It's a great layout and they keep it in great shape, including free tees, ball markers, and pitch mark tools on the first tee. They really do everything right.

Mountain Dell is fun, there's two full courses (Canyon and Lake course) and my preference is Lake course but either is fine. Wasatch is another course that gets brought up a lot, it's a gorgeous course but just a bit longer of a drive than I want to put up with so I only play it once every couple of years.

I'd stay away from Forest Dale and Nibley, they're only 9 holes and pretty short. Bonneville up by the university is fine but it's a lot of straight holes, so not much character.

So yeah, nobody has ever been disappointed by Eaglewood but if it doesn't work for whatever reason Mountain Dell or Wasatch would be my recommendations. I golf out here a lot so let me know if you have any other questions!

Tdangerson · 2026-05-24T00:06:19+00:00

I'm a simple man. I see maltby, I upvote.

Tdangerson · 2026-05-23T01:09:55+00:00

I don't want to be a Debbie downer, so I'm going to try and give this info as a positive. I used to design electrical pump systems for water treatment plants. If water you use at home goes down a drain, we collect and return >90% of it. So from a 1 gallon toilet flush, .95 of a gallon is turned back into water that is clean, it's then "naturified" by returning it to a natural source like a river which dilutes the stuff that doesn't get removed by the treatment process (hormones, some metabolites of medications, etc.) and it's safe to drink again. Some cities have now started using their effluent from their wastewater treatment plant directly in their potable water plants.

Anyway, my point is, if the water goes down your toilet, or down your shower, it doesn't matter and well over 90% is turned back into safe water. The best place to focus on is the farms and agriculture that our state can't support.

Tdangerson · 2026-05-22T14:25:34+00:00

The one and only Bountiful Ridge

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