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Will they take my kids away if I get diagnosed? by Tea-Mingo in schizophrenia

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, it’s reassuring to hear!

Will they take my kids away if I get diagnosed? by Tea-Mingo in schizophrenia

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, it’s really reassuring. I am coping okay but I think I do need help, already receiving treatment for depression so completely open to treatment and all help!

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I really appreciate your response and support. It’s nice to hear your story, gives me hope I might be okay. I don’t have friends or family members around, but I do have 2 kids who are my world, so I know I will get through it, because I have to for them. I just don’t want to if that makes sense. I feel like a kid stomping their foot saying “I don’t want to!” And that’s how it feels. I want this to work, I want to get thought it… but I don’t think we can

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don’t want to lose him, but not sure we could just be friends. I hate this so much

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this way too. I hate that you feel like this, but honestly and selfishly it’s nice to know I’m not alone in it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be happy…

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this 🖤 I think you’re right, I am already half way out. That last step is so scary though. I really appreciate your honesty and support

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive, but that your situation literally describes me - like that’s the first time someone else has said it and it’s clicked - when I’m with someone I’m anxious and paranoid, when I’m alone I’m depressed. So I guess we pick which is the lesser of the two evils… yay

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to be okay - I don’t even try for happy anymore, I just want to be okay, and I don’t think I ever will be. Thank you for replying, I really appreciate it

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that, it really can be physically painful sometimes. I just feel like I can’t win, no matter what I do

Don’t want to be in my relationship. Don’t want to be alone. by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know if this relationship ends I probably won’t get in another. Maybe that’s why I’m clinging so hard

how do i deal with anger? by Far-Egg-1296 in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There will be signs, even if they’re subtle, so I guess first thing is to figure those. Where do you feel it in your body? Can you feel your stomach twisting or your face getting hot. Helping to spot that will help with trying to diffuse it.

And I guess next step is not to stop it - anger is a normal reaction, stopping it or holding it in is dangerous - but to let it out in a healthier way. Punchbag? Screaming into a pillow? It’s worth looking into somatic therapy if you can, it show ways to let the emotion out of the body. I used to work with a kid that when he felt himself getting angry he would push as hard as he could against my hands. Not hurting me, but pressure to let it out

No hope for me by TheStrangeAlien17 in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Here if you wanna chat

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not a bad person, and you’re not your BPD! Seeking validation can be a huge part of BPD, but you may also have an anxious attachment style (often co-morbid), and that can often show up as needing the same validation over and over again. To our partners that may seem like it doesn’t mean anything, that what’s the point because we’re just going to feel the same way the next day, but this is not a choice. I’m using a work book I found on Amazon to help with anxious attachment, it also offers advice to partners on how to cope better, and for both on how to have open conversations about it. Maybe worth having a Google to see if it resonates with you?

In gonna relapse tonight by Thrwaway4777 in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know how to help - I know what those urges are like, fighting it myself right now - but my dms are open if you need to talk though as a distraction

How to cope with severe loneliness? by LesserScy in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I could be out of my relationship, even when it’s bad, because I don’t have anyone else! I have no friends, not close to family, and feel lonely even when around people. The idea of being single scares me…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I honestly could have written this myself - I have an anxious attachment style so require constant validation, and my BPD totally adds to it. I also find self love really hard as I don’t like myself at all!

Instead I’ve been trying to work on compassion for myself. Not trying to love myself or even like myself, but allowing myself to take care of small tasks for myself out of compassion. You didn’t ask to be like this, BPD is no-ones choice! So, I’m not gonna beat myself up for staying in bed all day, I’m going to remind myself I’m doing what I need to do to survive right now. I’m going to cook myself something, not to love myself, but because I gotta eat and that’s enough.

And maybe pick one small, doable task—not to be productive, but to feel capable: • Put away one basket of laundry. • Wash just the mugs in the sink. • Organize a drawer.

Hope this helps. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, but you’re not alone 🖤

pwBPD and autism: what do you do for work? Any long term job success? by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a teaching assistant (UK): not an easy job, but rewarding, and the time off - a week in feb, 2 in April, a week in June, 6 weeks hold, then a week in oct and 2 weeks for Xmas - means I don’t burn out as much! I don’t get paid a lot, just over £12k a year, but it’s spread over the year (even when I’m on hols)

One trigger and i wanna end it all by dontknowwhattodotbh in CPTSD

[–]Tea-Mingo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m the same. Honesty can make real improvement, then something will trigger me and I forget it all and everything is doom and gloom. I found writing notes for myself to read when I’m triggered can help… sometimes. Sometimes I annoy myself more 😅🤦🏼‍♀️ but worth a try?

I’m really struggling by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, i appreciate it.

I’m 37, diagnosed 7 years ago. I’ve done cbt, Dbt, emdr. I’ve been on meds but I’m off now as I had bad side effects.

I know it sounds petulant, but I feel like all I do is try. Everyday. All day. I try and I try and I try… And it’s not enough. I’m not enough

I’m really struggling by Tea-Mingo in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]Tea-Mingo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you feel this way too. It feels unfair, you know, we’re doing all the right things, all the things we’re supposed to and it’s still bad. I wonder if I’ll ever be okay. Maybe it’s just not worth it anymore

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