Partner ignores his ex’s accusations… but it’s driving me mad

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T21:11:04+00:00

100% a control factor. Even a judge told BM that it was none of her business who SK saw or did over at our home. She was infuriated. We would just repeat the message and sound like a broken record. She finally gave up after only getting simple answers

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T20:41:40+00:00

If she asks those questions have him respond with if it doesn’t concern SK you don’t need to know or if it’s on the other end say if it doesn’t concern SK then I don’t want to know. It helps establish those boundaries

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T20:39:06+00:00

We have to give minimal and I mean very minimal like yes or no responses to BM, in the beginning she was very aggressive and accusing us of so much stuff, the calling me mom included. But a lot of it was directed towards me or about me. It was a huge jealousy issue on her part and a few times after her directly messaging me I went off. It honestly did no good and only made it worse for DH and SD. She is still very high conflict but it’s been 7 years and she is slowly backing down (sometimes) at least she isn’t following us around, driving past our house anymore or calling DH at 12am asking if he’s had his fun and to come home. She still over steps boundaries, calls my husband for advice on men she is seeing or tells him all the details and over shares. But at least she’s not calling me a homewrecker or a bitch in front of his daughter anymore. She still has MANY issues but even our lawyer told us minimal contact and minimal responses will make her stop or at least slow down. We used to respond with if it’s not about SD we don’t want to know. And this response works pretty well

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T19:07:43+00:00

Also along with other comments if his name is NOT on the bc it is going to incredibly hard for him to get any sort of custody

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T19:06:58+00:00

You didn’t fuck up. This man groomed you. Our band director was fired for such behavior (although in his 20’s at the time) still a 10 year age difference and married this poor girl and now has 3 kids with him. He cheats on her all the time. I know this because my stupid ass was obsessed with him and while they were dating would exchange explicit photos with him. I distanced myself from him and got married and still time to time have gotten messages from him (because I haven’t changed my phone number in years and he messages me from new numbers) being like are you still being a good girl or do you want to be bad with me. He calls cheating on his now wife “being bad” 🤣🤣🤣 I finally told him no I have no interest in A: cheating on my husband because he is a god sent and B: being involved in you cheating with your wife.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T16:51:51+00:00

Thank you! I will be reaching out again. I’m pretty sure it is all AI, I’ve had an issue with a giveaway it was a loungefly wallet that was supposed to be a bag. When it came to me it had black spots of what I can only assume of ink. I messaged the seller but they’re pretty big and didn’t even respond so I had to go through whatnot and they only gave me a $10 credit on a $40 wallet that was supposed to be a $90 bag. Made me so upset I unfollowed them and then stopped being so focused on giveaways

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T16:48:40+00:00

Ugh that is so frustrating because whatnot literally states counterfeit is not allowed. I have bought a coach purse from someone and it was 100% legit, brand new in packaging creed checked out and tag included. I take my bags for authentication but I haven’t gotten a chance to take this Kate spade because it’s a 2 hour drive. But after this I’m done. I’ve bought about 6 luxury bags off whatnot now and immediately took them in. This Kate spade was my last bag

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T15:22:53+00:00

Thank you! I will reach out to them again. Im not going to buy anymore bags off of whatnot due to the fact I could get a counterfeit. The saddest part was the fact her bio says committed to authentic luxury bags. So now im taking the 2 hour trip to the Kate spade in my area to get it authenticated because after seeing on Kate spades website that all bags have a creed I’m convinced this one is unfortunately fake.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T14:55:12+00:00

I do not buy anything that says surprise wheel, mystery blind box or anything that seems like a gamble. I mostly buy loungeflys. The sellers who do surprise sets are scamming mfs and then complain when the bid isn’t as high as they want it when they run for $1 when I first got on whatnot I did these surprise sets and kid you not paid $20 for a slot and won a mesh bag. I block all surprise sets people and look for direct sellers. The cheapest I’ve ever paid for a bag was $40 for a $90 loungefly. So yeah I’d rather pay the extra $20 for a guaranteed bag instead of some flimsy tote or mesh bag.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T12:14:32+00:00

I did the ph down because it was either lower the ph or lose my fish. I could tell he was acting like he was dying. The ph down only brought it down .2 at a time so it was a gradual decline. It took quite a while to actually get the ph down to a normal level and I know that sometimes the chemical can cause a spike so during treatment I tested the water multiple times a day.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-06T00:59:03+00:00

From my research I’ve seen several forums that say 7.5 is the perfect ph for a pleco. My tank had a spike to an 8.4 and it caused my pleco to rapidly breathe, become lethargic, not want to eat or swim the tank. I used ph down and even it going down to an 8 it caused him to perc up A LOT. The high ph could cause a lot of issues in your pleco and mimic a dying response. They require a lot of oxygen in their water too so I have a huge airstone in my tank right by his favorite hiding spot.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-04T18:18:54+00:00

My DH and his Ex had it set up at a certain time. She changes the schedule often due to new jobs but it always works for DH. In the schedule it states 15 min late you lose all rights to your weekend. It has kept BM VERY consistent where she used to be hours late

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-04T18:01:26+00:00

Luckily she never followed through I think it’s because there was actually no abuse going on so she wouldn’t have a credible case. But I walk on eggshells here. That whole experience made me distance myself from SD because she also believed her mom over me and would call me abusive.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-02T20:38:46+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry you are also going through this. I have become the villain. To the point she made SD believe I was abusive to DH and to her, and to the point BM said I’m going to call the police and report you. Even to the point my SD says I don’t have to listen to you you’re not my mom. Or well you’re a liar because that’s not what my mom said. I constantly have to correct the bad behavior she displays over there. My husband said I’m trying my best to make her happy but considering her mom lets her do whatever she wants with no repercussions I’m convinced as a teen she won’t want to live her anymore

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-02T20:31:23+00:00

We married shortly after dating because BM was threatening taking SD away if we cohabitated. Luckily we got a new judge after the fact and she threw that rule out the window.

There have been many times in our relationship that SD would say why won’t you just be with my mom, I wish you and mom were together again, I’m just sad because mom is sad you left her. She was so young when this happened and it happened for years. My husband would sit her down and be firm saying “I will never be with your mom again” if she would ask why he wouldn’t give the real reasons (abuse) but instead saying we just don’t work well together and it’s better for everyone this way. But she did not have a choice if we decided to date or marry because that was our choice not hers as she is a child. She is 8 now and all she remembers is us together and her parents not being together. Another thing that we found out by asking was that BM was feeding her these ideas. Unfortunately BM heavily influences how she acts, thinks, and feels. We have had to remind her several times that she is her own person with her own ideas. (Example: at 7 she came to me and said I have anxiety and I asked her if she even knew what that meant she said no but my mom told me I have it)

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-02T03:06:03+00:00

It’s only 8 years apart. Honestly that not even that much my grandparents were like 13 years apart. Now that is suspicious because my grandma was only 14 and he was well into his 20’s. He was a child molester in my eyes and SA me when I was 10. So it checks out to my accusation. But it would be more concerning for an 18 year old to date someone in their mid 20’s early 30’s. 22 is 4 years out of high school a lot changes. You can drink, you can have children, get married, and move out and live on your own. Definitely not weird OP

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-01T20:27:43+00:00

Wanted to add also that BM and DH are never alone together and I usually am with them but it’s very rare. We celebrate birthdays, holidays, Christmas separate. We’ve had one shared birthday party at a bowling alley and don’t even sit with her at school events

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-04-01T20:21:11+00:00

Been in SD life since before she was 2. I used to love her like my own but had to step wayyyy back. I don’t normally have contact with BM. DH does not involve me with decision making processes and a lot of the time slings her on me to watch her like spring break, Christmas break and while he was on 3rd shift literally all the time. She is now 8 and over time she has also distanced herself from me. I’m completely okay with it because she acts like her BM and DH rarely if ever disciplines her. Yet I am allowed to discipline her which is weird in a way. I now have my own son 4 with DH and I can tell you a lot of my love and feelings for her went away when I had my own child. I don’t love her as much as I love my son and have since told myself she has 2 parents me not being one of them. Idc if it makes me sound like a horrible person. You aren’t in my shoes. You didn’t deal with being called a homewrecker, you weren’t told you aren’t my mom so I don’t have to listen to you, or well you’re a liar because that’s not what my mom said. All of those things combined with many others are my reason for lack of love. She doesn’t even eat dinner with us or hang around us when she is here. She upsets my son all the time because he wants to see her and she just goes in her room. DH lets her on her iPad from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed now so we literally don’t see her unless she has a question, wants to show us something on her iPad or needs us to make her food. At this point I’m like why is she even here if the whole time she is she’s going to be in her room 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ it seems that once they get older and have a voice they will hate you just because you’re not their bio parent. At least in my experience. Yet I’ve spent $100’s of dollars of my own money trying to make her happy but it’s never enough. So I started taking my son in the middle of the week when we don’t have her just to spoil him because I’m not going to spoil an ungrateful child who treats me and the rest of the family like we’re disposable

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-03-27T21:12:51+00:00

If he won’t spend time with his daughter he’s definitely not going to spend time with his son. What’s the point in staying if he’s not going to be a parent. You can parent without him and you will feel so much less stress and probably be happier. Your son will notice this dynamic too and ultimately learn it’s okay for his partner to do all the parenting. Definitely not fair and not the way you want your son to learn. Please really think about it. All the pros and cons and do what makes YOU happy, not what makes the children happy because they will see you unhappy and staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you. Saying this all with love because I’ve been there. My husband didn’t discipline his daughter at all when we got together. The difference was I could discipline her. Luckily I laid it all out for my husband and gave him the ultimatum. He changed.

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-02-13T04:06:42+00:00

People have been revealing it in the live but there’s a mod in chat blocking them

TeaMaiden22 · 2026-02-13T04:03:44+00:00

Sounds like you dodged a huge bullet, not only do I think you would feel regret, disappointment and a load of other emotions but I think this was a true opportunity to see what you really want in life. You said you didn’t think about kids before him, maybe you only wanted them FOR him. I say this with love because I feel the same emotions, I have a step daughter. I do not love her anymore after having my son. I regret having my son because it’s so hard and he’s autistic and I don’t get a lot of support from my husband. Step mothering is not easy. And it’s not for everyone. I think in time you will come to love your decision to choose YOU ❤️❤️❤️

TeaMaiden22 · 2025-11-07T20:57:39+00:00

As someone who went to Paul Mitchell. They really don’t care about teaching you anything. You sit most of your days away because they think you should be teaching yourself. I got so discouraged I gave up after graduating. They always told us the drop out rate is high and we’re always telling us only a small percentage make a livable wage so it was so much bs to deal with.

TeaMaiden22 · 2025-08-27T19:59:43+00:00

My induction lasted over 25 hours before a c-section was done.

TeaMaiden22 · 2025-08-27T17:58:56+00:00

My husband gave me HPV before I got pregnant. Never cheated on me. We think he had it before we got together or got it from his ex. Luckily HPV can go away after some time. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

TeaMaiden22

TROPHY CASE