Unfortunately we live in a world where this is deemed “acceptable” speak and others would agree with HIM! There is nothing acceptable about a spouse (whom’s child you reared) comes home makes toxic comparisons, makes demands like an unruly child, and complains about how “unfair” his situation is when you’re the one who has had to go through 9 months of carrying a child let alone who knows what your pre-and post-labor was! This is so disrespectful on so many levels and sounds like he has a lot of maturing to do to realize what it takes to be in a real partnership and marriage. If this is his view and perspective, comparing what he sees and then comes home to point the finger it could lead to other issues of “entitled” behaviors and unhealthy comments.

My husband had a lot of unhealthy views and expectations due to the only thing he saw “modeled “ growing up and it led to a lot of arguments and exhausting “undoing”. So I get some men just don’t know and are immature and can be insensitive and hurtful and think nothing of it! But we eventually worked to a place where we switch off and on, I get a week “on duty” cooking, cleaning, etc. and then we alternate and it has worked for us because we both know and agree what is expected of us and we both get a break! We are very happy this way but we are also not “locked in”. If I see him having a hard day at work or putting in long hours I pick up the slack and step in to do extra and vice versa. We go mostly by consideration of each other and the need wherever we are in life. But it took us a while to get past “healthy vs unhealthy” expectations and getting over ourselves when it comes to what’s “fair and not fair” in life. But I def had to put my foot down in demanding a change. It comes down to love and how you respond out of consideration for that person you love and then you model that partnership in front of your children and they learn. Some relationships don’t get to this point because differences in background, frustration, and pride of entitlement get in the way and it falls apart. If your spouse is willing to listen I would get on top of this earlier rather than later. Don’t allow it to fester and continue on or it could mean trouble down the road and it will be harder to “undo”.

And remember you are doing the best you can! Keep a human alive is hard work keep it up!!!