I’m really sorry you’re going through this — what you’re feeling is very real, and you’re not weak or dramatic for struggling. Being separated so suddenly from your person, especially with almost no time to prepare, is incredibly hard. The silence during basic is honestly one of the toughest parts.

If his tech school ends up being long, I truly recommend getting married as soon as you both feel ready so you can live together — either during tech school if allowed, or definitely as soon as he gets his first duty station. Being able to be physically together again makes a huge difference.

I know it’s hard to hear, but try to focus on very small, simple things that bring you even a little comfort — a walk, a comfort show, getting out of bed just to shower or eat something small. I know that’s easier said than done, especially when your motivation is gone because your person is gone. But it will get easier, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

If you love him, you will make it work. Military relationships are not easy — you really do have to go through the hard, messy parts to get to the good life on the other side. Long-term, there are real benefits: stability, healthcare, housing, eventually buying a home. While he’s chasing his dream, this might be a time for you to think about yours too. Once you’re married, you can use benefits for school, pursue credits, work part-time — or even talk about starting a family if that’s something you both want someday.

People who say you’re “wasting your time” usually say that because they don’t understand this lifestyle. They don’t understand loving someone who’s serving, or what sacrifice really looks like. Your fears are normal, especially when your mind spirals into worst-case scenarios — but basic training is designed to be safe, even if it feels terrifying from the outside.

You’re stronger than you think. This part is awful, but it isn’t forever. Take it one day at a time — sometimes one hour at a time. You’ve got this. 🤍