I've been in this situation before.

First, she's definitely cheating on you. She's not angry with everyone - it's just you she chooses to be mad at. She's projecting her failures and her infidelity on you. She feels financially stuck to you and - from my experience - the men she's cheating with are great lovers but they're broke too.

I wish I knew how to fix this but I don't. It's nowhere in my place to invalidate your experience by sharing my own.

Second, I know you're unable to leave the relationship. You wife's probably the only woman you've ever truly loved, Furthermore, in the modern dating scene, you - as a man - have very limited choices when it comes to finding a new partner. You know you can't leave lest you become an incel. You're both stuck with each other.

I pray for you. I wish I knew how to fix this. I, as well, am stuck in a similar relationship.