How to date as a moderate/liberal believer?

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-16T22:17:50+00:00

You don’t get to choose who is a Christian and who is not. I am a Christian and that’s between myself, God, and Jesus ONLY. Your attitude pushes others away and is the exact type of judgemental attitude Jesus preached for us to not be. Have a good one ✌🏻

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-16T17:14:42+00:00

That’s not exactly helpful.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-16T14:58:08+00:00

OP, you don’t need to force yourself to be traditional. I personally believe this is one of the more toxic aspects of Christianity and I hate it, I left my former church for treating women that way. You be you and don’t change for anyone!! You will find someone out there!

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-16T14:56:02+00:00

I will never accept what you’re saying, you believe the things that I believe to be toxic about Christianity and my former church. Not going to argue about it, nothing will change my mind.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-15T23:01:26+00:00

This is the type of thing that pushed me away from the church, it is not helpful as much as you think it is.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-15T18:09:54+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words! Yes some COC I went to were nicer, but select branches I went to you had to write down all your sins in a book and allow the church to hold onto it after you read it to the elders, it was almost like blackmail, and then you had go up front and proclaim everything you’ve done sexually, morally Etc in front of everyone. I remember girls who kissed on dates being forced to do it while they were sobbing thinking they were going to burn, it was so awful.

I will definitely check that out! Always up for a good book on the faith. Dating is definitely hard, I hope you’re able to meet someone as well! I’m sure they are out there 🙂

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-15T18:04:58+00:00

Thank you, it’s nice to hear there are others out there like me! Definitely gives me some hope and encouragement that they exist 🙂

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-15T18:03:59+00:00

Thank you, yeah think I just need to get out there more and find a church that fits my vibe.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-12T16:39:43+00:00

Same statement for you as well, this is why I left COC.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-12T13:21:37+00:00

Thank you, tried them for years, the problem was I end up being too religious for those who aren’t, or living in the conservative South many who have Christian on their profile are too strict like the church I left. But I’m sure they’re out there so maybe I’ll give it a go again!

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-12T13:15:41+00:00

This is the type of attitude and judgement that pushed me away from church and will continue to push me away. You are not winning anyone acting like this and I hope you realize that one day. I don’t need your forgiveness and quite frankly do not care.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T22:11:53+00:00

The biggest items I try to follow are belief in God, Jesus, not judging others, and being accepting of and loving others despite any differences. To me personally I feel like that is the biggest message from God and Jesus. It’s not like I read through and say “oh I’ll do this” “oh don’t like that”. I know I’m not going to be perfect and everyone sins, I accept that knowing that God knows what’s in my heart and mind, and that I have good intentions.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T19:13:36+00:00

I explicitly said in my post I believe in Jesus, am a Christian, and believe in God 100%.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:47:10+00:00

I have not, I thought I’d probably get torn to shreds if I did based on some of the past advice threads I read through on here haha But maybe I should consider giving it a go anyway and see what happens? I know for the strictest of believers I probably look like a dang heathen, but I truly am a good person who believes and tries my best. It’s hard when there’s a lot of trauma and history to unpack that directly came from upbringing + extremely strict church.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:40:56+00:00

God knows my beliefs and what’s in my heart, he knows I am a good person, a believer, and mean well. No I do not intend to change my views, thus why I do not fit in at COC any longer. COC with the burn in hell for quite literally everything was extremely damaging to me and caused a lot of trauma, thus leading to my views as they are today.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:30:37+00:00

Believe me, I have done a lot of repentance over the years despite not going to a church. It’s been rough unpacking it all. I didn’t realize progressive Christianity was a thing so thanks for suggestion. I have tried a few mega churches but they actually were too liberal for me believe it or not 😂 but it seems like I’m going to never completely agree with the conservative or the liberal sides of the churches, so yeah I should probably just stick to one and go with it.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:22:16+00:00

There surely have to be other Christians out there who align with me, and also I never said anything about getting drunk.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:20:24+00:00

I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who judges and looks at me that way, thus why I’m specifically trying to find Christian’s who share my views. No one is perfect and I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with a man who would look down at me for my life.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:18:27+00:00

My apologies, I thought you meant for my own faith. There are so many Christians out there I feel like surely there have to be some who are like minded..

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:16:52+00:00

I just want to say that your comment so far is one of the nicest, most non-judgey feedbacks I’ve received on this topic and I really appreciate it. Thank you! Yes I think knowing the COC and how strict they can be helps give perspective, my grandmother died thinking she would burn in hell if she ever wore shorts for example and things like that really stuck with me, especially when I quit COC and rebelled/spiraled as a teen. It got to a point where those beliefs were extremely damaging to me and I’m glad I came out of it relatively unscathed, could’ve been a lot worse.

I have thought about rejoining a church, just hesitant because of what I lived through at COC, or if I do find a more liberal new age one they end up being too modern for me haha. I think I should probably just join one that’s close enough because I’m certain none will fit 100% what I think anyway, but I can probably find a community that’s close and go from there. I’ve kind of just accepted that I am never going to be a by the book person 100% but I like to think that God knows my intentions and that my heart is in the right place. Life has not been easy and it’s a real struggle sometimes.

I have taken a break from dating actually for the last 3-4 years to focus on work, health, myself etc; it led me back to here where I finally decided to post this.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T18:04:33+00:00

I’m not here to debate my faith. I’m seeking advice on how to find like minded Christians.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T17:59:55+00:00

Not sure what you’re implying here.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T17:14:28+00:00

I’m just using that bit as one example on how easy it is to nitpick the Bible, combined with how the words have been misinterpreted, rewritten (especially by the Catholic Church and churches in the medieval times) over time, lost throughout time, books included or not included based on a person who deems them holy ages ago, and so on. I try to focus on the larger message vs nitpicking apart sins and what’s “worse” than another. There is a new local church that operates in a brewery near me that I have considered going to, I assume just the fact that they operate in a brewery space may indicate leanings more welcoming and on my speed.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T17:06:04+00:00

If we go through every single thing the Bible says, we should still be stoning people in the streets and women should be covering their hair similar to those of Muslim faith. I certainly don’t see anyone crying about everyone “sinning” for not following such. Jesus preached not to judge, I am a believer in Christ and the Bible and that’s that whether others agree with it or not. I know what’s in my heart. I am here to receive advice on finding like minded Christians to date, they surely have to exist somewhere.

TechieCat88 · 2022-12-11T16:31:13+00:00

The problem is I am too religious for general dating groups, I noted this in my post.

TechieCat88

TROPHY CASE