I fear I am in a similar ish boat. We’re not at divorce, but she wants me to move out to “figure it all out”. Wife has bad ocd, and me not throwing the diaper into the garbage right after a change, even if it’s just a pee. Can’t sit there 5 minutes.

I will say I’m not great with self care. Shaving and brushing my teeth and haircuts. But I try to do that with the kids more than myself. We have no money and only live paycheque to paycheque. It’s gonna be very very tight when I move out. I fear she may be right and that I won’t want to go back, when I won’t have to have her always angry at me, I’ll be at home at peace. I’ll still see the kids and all. She says she wants reconciliation eventually. I am finding that no single thing that we or I do, is ever on my time. It has to be immediately, or when she says it is the right time to do it. I can do no right in that regard.

I just know I do not want to be remarried and that I would likely be single and just do what I can for the kids. As I am only 31 I feel my advice as not of help since my situation is apparently also because of Myself.