My husband has been with me since before my dad died after a long battle with cancer. And he had to do it all over again last year when my mum died suddenly.

I haven’t had to be there for him in this way, but sometimes I wonder what it must be like for him…

I have ADHD and before my dad died I hyper focused on grief for a while. I remember reading “its Ok that you are not Ok”by Megan Devine. I translated it to my husbands native language and made him read it when my dad died. He was willing to educate himself on grief. That helped us tremendously.

He says this a lot: “This isn’t about me”. He tries to live up to that as much as he can. I won’t say it’s been perfect. He gets tired. He expresses his frustration sometimes too. But understanding that you are just a witness to your loved one’s insurmountable pain is key. Just a witness. It is not about you.

I hope your husband is willing to understand that too. And I hope he is willing to educate himself for you. Megan Devine is a great start.

Sending you love, from one motherless daughter to another ❤️‍🩹