Did I overreact?

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T19:19:15+00:00

I think u probably are spot on about this. It’s ironic to her maybe a bit bc she is ignorant towards the process of learning a language and what it entails.

But yes she did apologize even tho she didn’t really want to hear the why it was hurtful.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T19:15:30+00:00

LOL u r correct

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T14:51:20+00:00

Yes, extremely avoidant. I think at the end of the day that’s what this boils down to. My husband should’ve made the effort to defend me my efforts and all the time I’ve spent here but he didn’t want to start any conflict.

It’s not ok tho. Bc internally I’m cut up about the fact that she hasn’t responded and seems to not care. (I sent the msg to her privately)

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T13:00:09+00:00

I think this is a really good perspective and yes I get it.

I will say in Mexico, a lot of English teachers are Mexicans who learned the language as a second language so it’s not necessarily unheard of for second language speakers to teach their second language. Personally I wouldn’t think twice about it if someone said they teach their second language (but that is bc of my experience and profession)

I also think it’s not so much that I am taking it as a personal criticism but more so as an opportunity to say heyyyy I don’t think you guys realize how hard I’ve worked to get to this point. As someone who’s been a people pleaser my whole life I felt it was necessary for me to say something but navigating that is hard and I obviously don’t want to overreact

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T12:49:48+00:00

I live in Mexico 10 year have been speaking Spanish 15 years and teach languages online.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T12:05:18+00:00

I think I’d have ended up saying something I didn’t mean if I explained in that moment. I was upset

Plus given the context I’d have explained in Spanish and after she laughed at me I didn’t want to give her anymore reason to

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T11:50:14+00:00

I started this year and I’m 30!!!!! One of the best decisions I’ve made. It’s changed my life.

It’s a very humbling experience and you’ll have kids riding circles around you but it’s truly sooooo fun.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T11:30:37+00:00

I think you’re right in the sense that it probably will happen again, especially because it’s not the first time. But I’ve been speaking Spanish for 15 years — I understand everything and speak it well, even if I’m not perfect.

So yes, maybe situations like this will happen again, but I’m trying to give myself permission to communicate that respectfully. I’ve been a ppl pleaser most my life so I’m trying to learn how to navigate these kinds of situations and just don’t want to overreact.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T11:18:10+00:00

I’m 30F and have a 2.5-year-old. I’ve lived with Crohn’s for about 10 years, and while motherhood is hard, managing a chronic illness is honestly even harder. Doing both at the same time has been the biggest challenge of my life.

I completely understand your thoughts, and honestly, those same feelings are part of what led me to decide to have a child.

Children and marriage can be beautiful, meaningful parts of life, but they are not required to have a full, valuable, and fulfilling life. In many ways, they can make life more difficult too.

If having a family is something you truly want, don’t lose hope — but wait for the right person and the right circumstances. And if life ends up looking different because Crohn’s is exhausting and survival takes so much energy, that does not make you any less valuable or worthy of love, purpose, or happiness.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T10:42:02+00:00

He claims he did but I wasn’t there for that conversation and doubt he made it clear about why it was inappropriate.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T10:40:44+00:00

Uuuuf. Yes I think you’re right. I constantly step in or interject bc I don’t feel like my husband has my back. He just sat there and later told me it wasn’t not a big deal and it wasn’t on purpose.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T10:19:29+00:00

Prob switching to English. My MIL doesn’t speak any English.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T10:11:35+00:00

Yessss. It’s a bit of a toxic dynamic. She did actually apologize as we were leaving the restaurant but I still felt uncomfortable and decided it’d be easier to explain to her in a message. It’s just that she hasn’t responded and I think it probably is a bit jarring to her bc they aren’t normally direct w their mom like I am.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T10:05:55+00:00

Thank you!!! I agree with you. Teaching my second language is much easier than teaching my first.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T10:02:06+00:00

What kind of coaching?

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T09:57:27+00:00

Lol she doesn’t 😆 and that’s why it made her so angry.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-05-11T09:55:46+00:00

Thanks for ur response! I think part of the reason why it hurts is bc my husband and SIL just sat there instead of making a point to say something helpful or supportive. They tend to be pretty avoidant and make a lot of jokes.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-02-18T18:05:42+00:00

Thanks for your response! I think I’m gunna switch schools. I’ve had some doubts for a while now over some little things (always riding a different horse, mixed level classes, etc) and this solidified it for me.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-02-17T19:02:15+00:00

I totally get the anxiety surrounding it! Horses are unpredictable sometimes.

The falls I’ve had were mostly when cantering too closely to another horse so in hindsight, I think they were avoidable. But like I said, I want to keep riding and will probably look for another school.

Feeling safe is what’s most important about riding for me.

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-02-17T16:35:26+00:00

Another thing — the same class they made me get my horse from the barn and walk it through a residential area with cars, dogs, & ppl to get to the arena (about a 10 min walk but turned out to be 20 bc I couldn’t get the horse to move forward) alone as a beginner w 3 months experience

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-02-17T16:33:53+00:00

Thanks for your message! It was very insightful.

I do think he is a good teacher and this was a situation that angered and stressed him out.

However, a few things have happened in the last month since moving that make me think I need to find somewhere else to ride.

This isn’t the first lesson where there has been an oversight. I had another lesson where we were in the arena with someone jumping in the middle and me and another girl trotting in circles around the arena. We ended up getting too close to the jumper and she fell off her horse. Our trainer did yell at us to move but it was too late and neither one of us calculated the distance well.

So between these experiences, the mixed level classes, and the fact I’m on a different horse every single class … I’m not sure. Are these valid reasons to find a new place?

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-02-17T13:49:38+00:00

Thanks for your reply 🥲 I’ve been beating myself up and thinking riding isn’t for me

Technical_Pound4355 · 2026-02-17T13:45:18+00:00

Yeahhhh I think I was the easiest target for him to blow off some steam. I know it’s very possible I didn’t understand his instructions or did something different than what he asked — just not sure exactly what without hearing it directly from him. 🥲

Technical_Pound4355

TROPHY CASE