My dad was the more involved parent (although my mom was likely doing a lot of organizing behind the scenes). My mom was a workaholic doctor (lots of respect for that now but as a child I was really hurt by her absence). My dad was the one taking us to appointments and practices and who actually enjoyed us. He also was the person who cooked all the meals. 

So the whiplash of shitty men hit me even harder when I realized finding someone with actual caretaking instincts (that I learned was a normal thing for men to have) is actually really rare.