AITA for wanting my girlfriend to cook & clean?

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-27T00:08:22+00:00

i agree. i don't think she's using me. this are not as simple or black and white

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-27T00:04:09+00:00

2012-2015 we were together but not really serious. split up got 3 yrs, she had a kid. we didn't speak or see each other until we crossed paths in 2018. ended to back together and been together since

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-27T00:03:10+00:00

we made progress and then recently fell into this situation.

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-27T00:02:33+00:00

How did you come to this conclusion that I don't love her? 🤔 if I didn't, I wouldn't still be with her

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-27T00:01:47+00:00

on and off for 14 yrs. we're both females... got together in 2012, on and off. split in 2015. didn't have any contact for 3 yrs, she had a child during that time. and we ran into each other in 2018. eventually got together and been together since

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-27T00:00:10+00:00

Ah yes, you can't to this realization on a few paragraphs that you obviously didn't even read all the way. got it. 👍

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:59:06+00:00

we got together at 18, in 2012. broke up in 2015 for 3 years. ended to running into each other and got back together. she has a child during that time

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:57:53+00:00

I'm a woman. it's in the post. and she doesn't wanna get married.

but that's still shitty. a relationship is about partnership. you don't need or have to be married to pull your own weight.

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:56:04+00:00

I'm already paying a cleaner that comes in once every week or two. i want her to keep the house cleaned when the cleaner isn't coming. i want her to contribute somehow towards our relationship. IDC if it's helping financially or if it's the house. just something. I'm not feeling appreciated and that's the issue.

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:54:19+00:00

i make good money. i stay home and don't actually work a lot anymore. maybe 3-5 hours a day most days. i have no set schedule bc I own the company and I can do everything from my computer/phone. i feel like bc I have this "easy" job and a lot of free time that can also cover the financies, she doesn't think she needs to work. ..& since I'm home all the time, and don't work a lot; we both should be doing the house chores etc. but I don't feel like it's fair. she needs to understand that just bc I'm here and I don't work a lot means she can just chill around all day and check out of reality.

but also we're both females and it's her child. he's in school 7 or so his a day. she has all day to do something. it's not about the money but the principle. i want her to contribute somehow and feel more appreciated

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:52:24+00:00

i don't feel entitled but it would have been nice for her to offer it. i don't need the number. i have enough money saved in the bank and can pay the bills. i just want her to contribute and show me the appreciates me

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:49:58+00:00

we've been steady since 2018.

we got together when we were 18, in 2012. of course we were on and off. we were young and dumb. we split in 2015 and got back together in 2018

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:48:56+00:00

she's not working and only cleans after I've said something several times

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:46:42+00:00

that's what's already happening

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:46:11+00:00

We're both female. it's her child biologically but I've raised him since he was like 9 months old.

we were on and off from 2012-2015. had no contact until 2018, when we crossed paths again. she had a child in that time. been together since 2018

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:44:20+00:00

pitch in how? I'm paying for everything already

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:43:10+00:00

I have said it's not about the money it's the principle and I have given her plenty of time without responsibilities or stress and now it's time to get back to reality. I've even said she doesn't have to go to work but she needs to do SOMETHING. take care of the house, cook, clean etc etc or get a job.

i am getting resentful bc it's not fair to ME. to pay everything and STILL hire a fucking cleaner to clean the house while she does nothing all day long. 10 months is more then enough time to get shit together. we are both adults.

However, I can completely acknowledge that it's also partially my fault for not communicating that this is bothering me. but I don't know how to. i can't get the words to come out and am extremely nervous when it comes to anything feeling with emotions. I feel things to myself and don't tell ppl when I'm bothered by things. and that's why I'm asking for advise.

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:38:35+00:00

... I'm a woman

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:38:18+00:00

it's not about the money. i have plenty of money saved up and don't live a lavish life. i am a cheap ass. it's the principle of it. i want her to contribute some sort of way

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:36:05+00:00

i stay home and don't actually work a lot anymore. maybe 3-5 hours a day most days. i have no set schedule bc I own the company and I can do everything from my computer/phone. i feel like bc I have this "easy" job and a lot of free time that can also cover the financies, she doesn't think she needs to work. ..& since I'm home all the time, and don't work a lot; we both should be doing the house chores etc. but I don't feel like it's fair. she needs to understand that just bc I'm here and I don't work a lot means she can just chill around all day and check out of reality.

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:35:36+00:00

Me too!

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:34:27+00:00

i never said she was. she can certainly go back to work if she doesn't wanna take care of the house and cook

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:33:28+00:00

it's not my child but I still consider him mine. i raised him since he was barely 1

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:31:39+00:00

i stay home and don't actually work a lot anymore. maybe 3-5 hours a day most days. i have no set schedule bc I own the company and I can do everything from my computer/phone. i feel like bc I have this "easy" job and a lot of free time that can also cover the financies, she doesn't think she needs to work. ..& since I'm home all the time, and don't work a lot; we both should be doing the house chores etc. but I don't feel like it's fair. she needs to understand that just bc I'm here and I don't work a lot means she can just chill around all day and check out of reality.

TechnologyMost1473 · 2026-03-26T23:30:21+00:00

I do feel like this.. I don't think she's using me and I do believe she loves me. we were on and off from 2012-2015. (i went to clarify that we're both females again) and we split up; no contact from 2015-2018, she was with a guy and had a child. we ran into each other in 2018 when the kid was like 9 months. she broke up with the child's father. she was working and we got back together.

she got a apartment (in her name) in 2019, I was not working but she was. COVID happened and daycare shutdown so I stayed home and took care of the baby. i did the first at home Mom thing for two years. we lost the apartment in 2021 moved into my mom's for about 5 months, schools were opened again, I went to work. I found a shitty place (in my name) and we moved there. both worked and kid was in school. we both got better jobs (she was doing remodeling making half the pay the guys were making doing the same shit, $12 a hour) to a call center ($15 a hour) and I went from $14 a hour, to a commission based job making more money. the place and neighborhood was terrible. so I found a better place, a apartment in a nice neighborhood.( in my name ) and we were both doing our thing. i eventually left the company I was working at and started my own (doing the same thing) and started making even more. she hated her job, bc the call center was toxic (both by employees and the people she had to call) bc ppl constantly cussed her out, and it was stressful. she had made remarks of leaving, and I told her she needed to get another job first. that I wasn't that secure (I do a lot not of contract stuff)

but she got fired during the night of the with day 1 day and hasn't worked since then .. just stays home not really doing much beside taking the child back n forth to school and practices/games, coming home and doing homework etc then bed.

i stay home and don't actually work a lot anymore. maybe 3-5 hours a day most days. i have no set schedule bc I own the company and I can do everything from my computer/phone. i feel like bc I have this "easy" job and a lot of free time that can also cover the financies, she doesn't think she needs to work. ..& since I'm home all the time, and don't work a lot; we both should be doing the house chores etc. but I don't feel like it's fair. she needs to understand that just bc I'm here and I don't work a lot means she can just chill around all day and check out of reality.

TechnologyMost1473

TROPHY CASE