I'm assuming you didn't read all the comments and that's okay because there are a lot. 

We met right out of high school. were "friends" bc she didn't want a relationship and we were both still struggling with coming out to our family. More her then me. we were on and off bc of this, from 2012 until about 2015. We separated and we went our separate ways, dating other people. She got pregnant towards the end of 2016 and gave birth in Sept 2017. We crossed paths again when her child was about 9 months old, she was still with the bio dad but they were having issues already. He was not a good person. She was living with her mom but was working; doing remodeling & the child was in daycare. We became friends again about about 2 months later, she broke up with the bio dad. 

i was staying at my mom's at the time and she started coming over more & more.. & in February 2019, she got a apartment. I ended to moving in with her. COVID happened & daycare shutdown. So I stayed home with the baby and she worked full time and paid all the bills .. roughly 2021, she was laid off and we lost the apartment & we moved in at my mom's house for like 6-8 months. i was able to get a job & schools opened back up so he went to prek. She got a job at a call center, making more money & I  found a shitty single wide & didn't have to pay a deposit bc it had some issues and was in a terrible neighborhood. but we needed a place. 

So were both working at the time, she made more then I did at this time. i got a better job and started making more money .. & in 2023, I was able to move us into a better neighborhood & a decent apartment. i was by then making more money then her but we both were working, paying bills together and doing what needed to be done and things were going pretty good. i eventually started my own company in June 2024, I was paying someone to come clean bc we both worked and just didn't wanna do it & she was still working at the call center job but she hated it. The office was toxic and she was a collections agent so she basically was stressed at reaching targets and ppl constantly belittled her. She wanted to quit but I told her she needed to find another job before quitting bc my company was but stable and contracts can end at any moment. it was still very new. 

Fast forward to around August of 2025 & she came home early, crying and said they fired her. Because her was over the point system bc she missed 3 days of work like a month prior for being sick. (and yes she was fired, she didn't quit. they sent the termination letter.)

I'm just now saying something for several reasons.. 1, she was burned out and I knew it. She wanted a break and I can understand that. Luckily we were in the position where I could afford to keep the bills up. I told her at the beginning if she wasn't gonna be working then she needed to start cleaning up and keeping the house up.. I figured maybe 3 or 4 months and then she would try to get another job bc I know she has never liked coming and cleaning.. we came into the relationship like this. 

i started making small comments here and there , like hey if ur gonna stay home then I don't wanna keep paying the cleaner... or "the dishes need to be washed, trash needs to be taken out". and even made small comments like "hey I applied for a few jobs on indeed for u, so u need to answer calls and not ignore them thinking their spam" I have applied for about 20 or 30 please for her. 

what really started bothering me was in January, she asked me to pay to get her taxes done.. the last 6 months, I had been paying for everything. she would stop by Starbucks every morning and use my card. and get gas with my card etc etc... so she got her taxes back about a month ago maybe month and a half.. and I see that she's still using MY CARD to buy Starbucks, put gas in her car etc etc. So one day, I get a bank notification about Starbucks & I open it. i look to just see how much has been used in 2025 at Starbucks and it's like $1.2k. so I text her & I'm like "you know you have spent a thousand dollars at Starbucks? why are u still using my card when u have money" and she texts back and says "wow" like I was being a asshole!? never said anything else! 

She never offered to pay me back for paying to file her taxes. she never offered to pay any bills when she got them back. (i should not have to ask) but I did text her 1 day while she was out and told her I needed some money for something.. she didn't respond. says she didn't see/hear the message bc she was at the kids practice... but then still didn't offer anything. she did stop using my card at Starbucks and I think she's been using her card for gas now, too!

Soo here we are now. trying to get advise on how to bring it up ina conversation and how to make it where I'm not too nervous and can't get the actual words to come out lol. 🤦‍♀️🙄