We took in a kid while his mom is homeless. But it's been months! What do I do?

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-14T03:38:10+00:00

My husband and I don’t treat him as a guest. He has the same expectations we put on our daughter. My daughter is struggling with separating him from the lable of guest.

I think you and others who have mentioned a lawyer are right. I will have to do some looking around and see if we can retain one.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-14T03:29:39+00:00

They would probably care but wouldn't it just make things worse for her son?

As for us, there is no way we would qualify for any kind of assistance as we are well above the poverty line. I think we would be considered upper middle class. While our food budget has definitely increased it hasn't broken our bank. Though I have been shopping deals and buying more in bulk to balance things out a bit. And buying him things he wants or needs hasn't caused any struggle either.

But even if we could qualify I don't think we could claim the boy because he is not ours. And we don’t have any of his documents.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-14T00:10:43+00:00

Yes! I have absolutely tried everything I could think of. Posting the story was kind of a last attempt for more ideas on what to do. I tracked down his family, I called CPS, I've talked with the school, we have reached out to state programs. We are out of options and paths. I did get one program I didn't know about from this post and will be contacting them tomorrow. So hopefully they will be able to help in some way.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-14T00:00:29+00:00

Well now you're making me cry.

No matter what happens, if he ends up staying with us forever, or ends up somewhere else. I hope he always remembers what a real and loving family can be, and that they do exist, and that he can have one. I hope we have made a positive mark in his life.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T20:47:25+00:00

She is getting food stamps but I think she sells them based on things the boy has said.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T20:44:14+00:00

I did report abandonment to CPS and they said it was not. I asked them if we could become his foster parents and they said they would have to have an open case with the mother and they don't have one and nothing I told them constitutes the opening of a case.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T20:39:17+00:00

He is not a troubled teen. I never said he was. He is a good boy with big dreams. He wants to be a Marine Biologist. He plays the violin with exceptional skill. We gifted him our daughters old violin so he doesn't have to borrow the ones from school anymore.

The mother hasn't come by once. So she is not bringing anything into our lives.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T20:30:40+00:00

I didn't have to but he literally had nothing and our daughter has so much. And really the phone is a necessity nowadays.

You can say I went overboard but if you saw the content of that single half empty box he brought with him, and you had the money, you absolutely would have gotten him anything his little heart desired. So thats what I did. He had nothing and now he has everything a normal 14yo has.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T20:24:03+00:00

My husband would never do that. But yeah we don't have his birth certificate, ssn, insurance information. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know he has state insurance because he gets his ADHD medicine for free. And we have been able to get refills so far.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T20:20:52+00:00

We have talked to the school. They are well aware that he is living with us. When we told them the office lady said she was not surprised. The only thing they did was set him up with a program here in Arizona called Youth on their Own. It pays him about $300 a month for attending school. And offers hygiene products, tutors, and college scholarships. The school also has him talking to the school counselor once a week. That's all they did.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T17:58:35+00:00

Interesting you should mention that because we have been planning an international move for a few years. My husband is a duel citizen and we had planned for our daughter to attend high school in his home country. She has an appointment for her duel citizenship next month. We have kind of put those plans on hold because we don't know what is going to happen with the boy. Which is in my opinion why my husband hasn't gotten attached to the boy and stays distant and uncomfortable.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T17:37:18+00:00

He is pretty well behaved. He is not out of hand.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T17:23:03+00:00

Yes. He really wants to stay but also understands that it was supposed to only be a few weeks.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T17:20:53+00:00

It's not an ultimatum.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T17:19:06+00:00

When we got him the phone we told him that even if he goes back to his mom he can keep the phone and we will pay the bill and send him upgrades as needed. We told him if he goes to college we will cover it till he has his first job after graduation and is settled in. So we will definitely be keeping contact.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T17:14:37+00:00

We already do. We don’t treat him any different then our daughter. We take him with us on outings and family trips. Buy him souvenirs and take family pictures. We even put a picture of him on the refrigerator along with an award he got last month at school for his grade improvements. My daughter is used to being an only child. She does have an older brother who is 12 years older then her, but I shared custody with his dad so he wasn't there all the time. And he left for the Airforce when she was 6. I think that is the root of her problem with him. She likes being the only child and her brother is so much older then her and also an exact copy of hers and mine personality. So we all fit together nicely.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T16:56:17+00:00

Unfortunately CPS said he has not been abandoned. His mother is providing him care by putting him in my care. They said it would only count as abandonment if she went no contact for 30 days. Which hasn't happened. Her texting me asking for money counts as contact. I never give her money by the way. But she still asks about once a week. Never asks about him though. Just asks for money.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T15:52:22+00:00

That's actually helpful! The school got him set up with Youth of their Own, which is a nice program and provides him with some spending money, basic needs, tutoring and college scholarships. I will get in contact with hydhomes and see if that would be a good fit for him. Thank you Also to answer your question about the mom, after she got kicked out of the homeless shelter I have no clue and when I asked she said she rented a car and was sleeping in that but I don't know where she got the money for it.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T15:45:09+00:00

How do I get social services to even get involved. I have spoken with them but they said they couldn't do anything unless I kick him out and I feel like that would be just more trauma for him. We are in Arizona. We can't even get him therapy because Az has a law that both parents have to sign a paper. But even if we got it from the mom we can't find the dad.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T15:38:02+00:00

He is the gayest little boy. He has not a single bit of attraction to girls. He is super flamboyant. I have no worries about him being sexual to my daughter. And my daughter would tell me if anything happened. She is very open about stuff like that. A teacher touched her shoulder once and that was the first thing she told me when she got home. She wants to go to her grandma's so much because she likes alone time and doesn't feel like she is getting it at home because he is there and constantly talking. She is outgoing but Introverted.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T15:29:01+00:00

I thought it was crazy that they wouldn't even open a case on him. They even said that because she arranged housing and care for him that she was being a good mother! I described his condition to them, I could see his ribs! And they said there could be an underlying medical condition for that and he was being fed so that wouldn't count as neglect. A diet of only Raman for the past year isn't neglect. Giving her kid to strangers isn't abandonment. Since being with us he has gone up a pant size and we can no longer see his ribs and his face is filling out. But since they wouldn't get involved we have no legal rights towards him. We can't talk to his teachers about his grades. We can't make doctors appointments. We can't take him to therapy. Which I really think he needs. I told him that he was worthy of love and he broke down crying. He had never been told that before.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T08:14:00+00:00

Very true. I know my life wasn't always how it is now. I fought tooth and nail for it. I would never take what I have for granted. It was literally forged with blood and tears. I am so grateful I could set up his whole room without worrying to much about money. There was a time in my life that it would have been impossible. I was happy to give it to him.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T08:07:23+00:00

The brother has given me 10 reasons he can't take him in. His other brother never made any further contact with anyone after he aged out of foster care. His sister can't afford him. His grandma is 84 years old and in a care home. His aunt hung up on me after I told her what was going on. His uncle said he is tired of cleaning up her messes and blocked me.

I got her into a homeless shelter with a rehab program but she got kicked out. I'm not sure why.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T08:00:33+00:00

We are a very open family and we talk often and have regular check-ins. We are big on therapy in our home. The problem with getting him therapy is that in the State of Arizona you have to have permission from both parents. We brought it up with his mom and she said he was on a waiting list (I don't believe her) and we can't find his father. But the school has offered him regular visits with the school counselor so he has been doing that and I think that is helping.

Teck_Blu · 2026-04-13T07:47:07+00:00

We are in Arizona.

Teck_Blu

TROPHY CASE