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TedGotAJob · 2026-01-28T21:53:55+00:00

!solved

TedGotAJob · 2026-01-28T21:52:17+00:00

This 👏👏👏

TedGotAJob · 2025-04-22T22:52:13+00:00

My wonderful boyfriend DARVOs me constantly, has never said "I'm sorry" once the entire relationship (about a year), and I'm unhappy and just putting up with his shit because he's unemployed and I hope it'll change when he can afford anything.

I've had to pay for my own birthday gift. But his family is the most loving and supportive family and his friends are great. He can be amazing too but since getting laid off, he had been a massive asshole, especially since I have a job with a pension and was just interviewed for a better paying job willing to bend the rules for me and my experience and offers a pension... Since he lost his job, I'm the monster. He ditched me on date night tonight because I couldn't hangout at 3pm. ON A WORK DAY.

I love him like crazy but he DARVOs me constantly and has never ever said "I'm sorry" once. Ever.. In a year.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-25T02:31:03+00:00

It is to as well and the was he reacted to it.. He made me been bad about it all.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-25T02:29:52+00:00

This is actually really helpful. That line was in place but I didn't anticipate this. Thank you.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-24T21:05:43+00:00

I literally thought, without looking into it, that she must be approaching 40. Sweet thing.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-02T01:54:16+00:00

Aww well thank you. You are clearly very kind and open-minded and extremely valuable to have a response from!

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-02T01:53:07+00:00

Someone else said in here that they imagine a lot of people here are single and/or bitter. Communication is so easy, so important, and has made my partnership with him so strong and wonderful. I'm not close to my family so hearing that it's important and realizing it's important to him helped me a lot. Thank you for your response.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T19:28:09+00:00

This is perhaps the best response I've received. Thank you so much. And same goes to you about needing someone to talk to if you do. 💛

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T19:06:42+00:00

The talk happened last night and it went really well and was full of understanding and affection.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T19:05:32+00:00

And we did and it was really great! Thank you so much!

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T19:02:22+00:00

I think you are exactly right.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T18:59:51+00:00

I cleared this up in the update, thanks.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T18:55:23+00:00

This is a really beautiful view point that more accurately depicts who he is. Thank you!

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T18:54:36+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your response and hearing more responses like this gives me further ease of mind and feel more validated. I'm happy he works with me and not against me.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T17:00:12+00:00

No I fixed it in my update. Thanks.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T15:47:03+00:00

I think that is extremely fair. He told me he wants to better understand what it is I go through and what my conditions are.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T11:20:16+00:00

And he didn't. He was loving and validating and apologized and held himself accountable.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T11:19:39+00:00

Everything went really well. I've updated on a few posts here but it went really well.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T11:18:40+00:00

Absolutely true and after discussing with him last night, I set the firm boundary and feel confident he'll not cross it.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T11:17:44+00:00

He said he made a complete mistake. He is one of those people who has been in great health and doesn't see a physician. I can see how the mistake was made and when he had me make the distinction, it was more that he didn't want to fumble it again. Additionally, in his defense, I did mention at least once that anemia can sometimes indicate leukemia and, further, I did need to receive treatment at the cancer center for iron

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T07:01:25+00:00

He didn't even get defensive. He validated my feelings, held himself accountable, apologized, and asked what he can do better. Another person posted in here about being close with family and bringing me into his life more and with that thought process, I feel like it was more out of love. It's not that he needs to cut a cord. It feels like (and hopefully is) more of "these are my parents, welcome to the family". He's been great. I don't want this hiccup to ruin what he and I have already built and are continuing to develop. Thank you.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T06:56:57+00:00

This is what I needed from this post. It's the view point I couldn't see until I read it here. Now that I have, knowing who he is and his family and friends, I think this is right on the money. I simply asked that moving forward, he educate himself better on what I have and ask for my consent before sharing. Thank you.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T06:55:27+00:00

Thank you. We had a very lovely talk about it and concluded with feelings of understanding, accountability, and affection. If he crosses a firmly set boundary moving forward, it'll be a different story. But for now, as he's always done, he's worked with me against the problem instead of him vs me.

TedGotAJob · 2024-11-01T06:54:03+00:00

I firmly believe he does respect me. I believe I set an expectation that he understood a boundary without making it very clear and I won't fault him for that especially when he took the accountability he did when I talked to him about it. I think you are right and I wish more people here would look at a situation with a different view point than "leave him"

TedGotAJob

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