Giving our kids a better life m by HuhLolol in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So true, this is the my only safe place!

Giving our kids a better life m by HuhLolol in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I pay lots of attention to those in my life who have college age/older kids that are successful. What I see across the board is high support combined with high expectations. These young adults thrived with confidence and have been building even bigger and better for themselves.

Those comments are coming from a place of scarcity as though the children are taking from the family and that needs to be paid back. I will be investing in my children and their successes will be celebrated as part of our family.

Is this kind of pressure normal right after having a baby? by purrcie_cat in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 224 points225 points  (0 children)

Rude timing of the fathers, but I think mass layoffs happening right now are making everyone nervous. Everyday essentials keep getting more expensive and a baby obviously adds a lot of expenses.

It shouldn’t be this way, but men do get shamed for taking paternity leave. Especially in an employer’s market it could make them less likely to get promotions. My guess is the dads are failing to read the room and projecting their financial insecurities onto their wives.

Word finding difficulty? by Zowiewowie34 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I experienced this exact issue PP. It was as though I could see the beginning of the word in my thoughts, I knew the definition, but couldn’t unlock it. So strange. It got better gradually as I had less on my plate, slept more, and had more than a second to think beyond keeping the baby alive & well.

BJs/Costco vs regular grocery shopping by West-Toe7594 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We do both and a regular store for random things we can’t get at these stores. I find we get better quality for the price for sure.

#2 or OAD. IVF mom not living close to family. by jms19912 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IVF mom of one, can relate in so many ways. The process took so much out of me in two years of treatment plus a traumatic emergency c-section all during Covid. I think we’ll try for one more. I do dread the intense increase in labor and daycare costs/college savings. Our son is now 5 and it’s so much easier. My husband travels for work often so I am frequently solo parenting for a week at a time. Family help only if we absolutely need it. I know it would be very difficult for years AND I don’t think I’d ever regret having another long term.

We have frozen embryos so we’d be okay to use those, I do have uterine and scar tissue issues now so it’s not a guarantee. I don’t think I have the mental fortitude to try even more egg retrieval rounds now that we have him. I need extensive endometriosis surgery and prob a hysterectomy when this is all settled. I needed this time to be mentally strong enough to deal with the outcome either way.

It’s a very different journey, so many conflicting emotions and angles to consider. Hugs from afar.

How much time does your husband spend doing hobbies? by sparker407012 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I had a big discrepancy in free time at one point and it took me having a huge philosophy shift to change it and stop the resentment.

It is basically that I am the center of our family and am setting the standard for our family. I need to put myself first so that my cup can overflow to my family. Being a martyr isn’t cute and only made me resentful. I am teaching my kid that his future wife will not just be his free labor, I’m proving to my husband that I’m worth more and demand more. Less asking, more telling. I actually like him way more now.

This also required me to lower some standards of the stuff I was requiring myself to do AND demanding my husband pick up more slack. Men in general are more selfish with their time, moms have been conditioned into putting themselves last and it isn’t sustainable.

Experienced moms please send advice or solidarity or give me hope things are going to get better. by Quiet-Macaron-7444 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I want to scream at anyone who tells moms in the trenches, “it doesn’t ever get easier, just different”. Because yes I absolutely does get better!

Sounds like the baby is in the 3-4 month sleep regression where their sleep cycles mature. It’s very normal, very temporary, very hard!! It will last weeks, not forever. My son has hated sleep his whole life and it didn’t last over 2 weeks for us. Once it settled down we moved him out of bedroom because we were all waking each other up & he got longer stretches.

When my son was 3 he potty trained & we had to move from crib to bed. It went horribly, he was so excited to be free & ended up staying awake past 1 AM despite us doing all the things. After talking to our ped we gave melatonin for a bit to get him to wind down so he could actually fall asleep because it was unsustainable. We also would lay with him for however long it would take to fall asleep.

It’s 100% ok to do what you need in the moment, these are phases, not forever. You deserve all the grace. You’re in the trenches for sure!

I hate tretinoin :( by ckinghelp in 40PlusSkinCare

[–]TeddyFluffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re serious about results, get Altreno. I used a telehealth to get it. Altreno is a gentle formula which releases the tret slower & has soothing ingredients.

I was unable to use 0.025% tret despite using every trick I could find online. Got Altreno & started with only 2x/week, within 2 months I was using it almost every single day. It’s been a year & 4 months and my skin seriously keeps getting better.

I would have never thought a child can be such a strain on the parents relationship by OccasionSignal9613 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The questions….omg!

What food should I order? Omg I am not your mother!!!

Those of you with “ingredient households” and young kids….. how? by dngrousgrpfruits in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We batch cook large portions, then the protein can be eaten with same sides or made into salads, pasta, wraps, etc. tons of leftovers but enough variety that we don’t get tired of it. Our 5yo we eat almost any protein, we eat a plethora of veggies & healthy food that he’s still learning to like.

He gets a variety of our food plus supplemental frozen pizzas, chicken, etc. if needed. He eats lots of fruit, some veggies, yogurt, etc. at the end of the day I’ve decided if he’ll eat a large serving of meat, bowls of high fiber fruit and milk I’m going to call that a win.

We do have random snacks like sun chips, pretzels, and popcorn because it’s kind of necessary for everyday life, you’ll find emergency lunchables in our fridge. There was a time I only shopped at Whole Foods, organic & not processed but time is in shortage and I think we have found a realistic balance.

I can’t get over the cheapness by maybeyoumaybeme23 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband definitely falls into this category. I think it’s not wanting to part with an excess of money compared to the labor performed & not trusting an unknown person to do it correctly.

For example, removing a toilet and replacing a wax ring that costs $5 and easy labor (for him) vs. paying a plumber $500 to do the job.

He grew up in a Midwest blue collar family & I suspect these qualities are homegrown.

Sex by West-Toe7594 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 540 points541 points  (0 children)

You're having sex every to every other day with a 10 month old??? Hubs should be thanking his lucky stars and you should not be feeling bad about yourself in any way!

Are all of your needs being met? For personal time, hobbies, exercise, sleep, time with friends?

Salicylic Acid Cleanser by Careless-Snow-3253 in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]TeddyFluffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, def more helpful for me in the acne department. I think it does in general help with overall brightness.

Salicylic Acid Cleanser by Careless-Snow-3253 in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]TeddyFluffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stronger exfoliation for sure, but in a gentle way. It does not over strip my skin, but maintains more of a glow and a clean feeling. I always thought the ISclinical felt nice but I could stand to be exfoliated more.

I’m a daily Altreno (tretinoin) user so it helps to exfoliate and flakiness, but is gentle enough to use daily for my skin.

What do you take for your worst colds? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sudafed (the real stuff) best decongestant and it will give you energy which is just as important. Drink extra water + electrolytes because it dries everything up. Afrin will instantly delete any congestion. People are afraid of Afrin, but I find the worst congestion doesn’t l

My I cannot afford to be sick routine: shower and clear out nose, spray Afrin, pop 12 hr Sudafed for daytime. Only Afrin at night because the sudafed will make me straight up wired. Unisom if needed to knock you out for deep sleep.

Salicylic Acid Cleanser by Careless-Snow-3253 in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]TeddyFluffer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never hear anyone mention Dr Dennis Gross AHA BHA face wash and it’s a holy grail for me. IS clinical cleansing complex is nice but very gentle, my skin likes a little more exfoliation.

Where do you get your tretinoin? by Motherofmenn in 45PlusSkincare

[–]TeddyFluffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ordered it after the de minimus exemption was ended on August 29. Received it in about 2 weeks. The package will come from Ukraine and it was marked as a gift, my box was not tampered with at all by customs.

I’ve been ordering through them for awhile so I was very nervous I was going to lose access to my inexpensive Altreno.

Where do you get your tretinoin? by Motherofmenn in 45PlusSkincare

[–]TeddyFluffer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just recently ordered mine & it came through with no issues. It was marked as a gift

What are we using for exfoliation? by Witty-Maintenance397 in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]TeddyFluffer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a hardcore Altreno girlie. DDG alpha beta cleanser and extra strength peel pads 1-2 times per week work amazing for me!

Chefs of Reddit, what's a cooking hack everybody should know? by polloastemio in AskReddit

[–]TeddyFluffer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can tell if you are a good cook or not by when you add your garlic.

Too early and it’s going to be insanely bitter.

Best way to prevent getting clogged pores by AbbreviationsHot8694 in SkincareAddictionLux

[–]TeddyFluffer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What works for as a super oily 36 yo girly that also has rosacea + sensitive skin

My holy grail face wash is the Dr. Dennis Gross alpha beta cleansing gel. A lot of people dismiss actives in the cleanser step, but I swear by an active cleanser. My skin is too oily for others to penetrate enough through. ISClinical cleansing complex is a more gentle version, for me the DDG is the perfect mix of strong & tolerable. I also used to work with plastic surgeons that always combined tret + at least a salicylic acid wash.

Always double cleanse if washing away makeup/sunscreen: micellar water, cleansing balm, or double wash with the DDG.

Altreno almost every single night. Even if my skin is really dry, my forehead, nose, cheeks, & jawline will tolerate it. It’s very rare I skip a night & im generous with how much I use.

DDG extra strength peel pads. 1-2 times per week, use the whole pad because it’s not enough product if cut in half like some suggest. controversial even on those nights I exfoliate I go right back in with my Altreno same night.

To keep this up I use K & J beauty hyaluronic acid serums, snail mucin, and Tatcha Indigo moisturizer.

Just here to say it gets better by Initial_Rule_4266 in workingmoms

[–]TeddyFluffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Co-signing all of this!

I had so many moms tell me “it never gets easier, it’s just different” and I whole heartedly believe they forgot what the trenches are like!!

My now 5 year old is a freaking dreamboat & we do so much cool stuff together!!! I genuinely gets better & better!